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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to get the school cardigan for DS?

78 replies

SwoopRoar · 25/08/2017 21:03

Hello,

DS is going into Reception and finds a jumper really hard to remove. I'm sure a teacher would help him, but it's definitely something that gets him in a bit of a fluster.

They have a cardigan option (they are with school trends, so get the school logo put on) and it hasn't got any silly frills, etc.

He often wears cardigans with shirts, etc. so it looks very unisex to me and in his little shorts, I'm sure he'd look adorable!

I'm just wondering if IWBU? Would children laugh, etc.? It would be so much more suitable. I've added a pic to show you what it's like.

WIBU to get the school cardigan for DS?
OP posts:
CorbynsBumFlannel · 25/08/2017 21:40

Also I bought jumpers for dd in reception when it got to winter as they were thicker and had a higher neck so thought they'd be warmer. Dd asked me not to get her them again as she was the only girl in the class who wore jumpers. Yet all the girls wear jumpers outside of school. It is weird but in some schools, at least, jumpers are for boys and cardigans for girls and anyone who deviates does stick out.

Twig45 · 25/08/2017 21:42

A boy in ds class in reception wore a cardigan for the same reasons there was no problems with other children but after 6 weeks the teacher spoke to mother and asked her to change to jumper as she was so pissed off with doing the kids buttons every day

catkind · 25/08/2017 21:48

A boy in ds class in reception wore a cardigan for the same reasons there was no problems with other children but after 6 weeks the teacher spoke to mother and asked her to change to jumper as she was so pissed off with doing the kids buttons every day
Shock Did she say the same for any little girls struggling with buttons? Why not just ask the mum to help teach him to do buttons? Did she insist children who couldn't use cutlery properly bring packed lunches too? There are plenty of those in reception by all accounts.

Also surprising as I very rarely see cardigan-wearing children with their cardigans actually done up anyway.

Gemini69 · 25/08/2017 21:48

several boys/teenagers in my daughters Academy wear cardigans... it's a thing now apparently ...

nobody bats an eyelid OP ...

Deliaskis · 25/08/2017 21:50

At DD's school many of the boys in the younger years wear the cardigan for exactly the same reason. I guess it depends on the school.

GherkinSnatch · 25/08/2017 21:50

DS's school gets their jumpers/cardigans from there. In his class only one boy has the cardigan and only a couple of the girls do. It's not a normal cardigan - it's made out of sweatshirt material so has quite a baggy body and arms (like a sweatshirt). The sizing is weird too - the 3-4 fits my DS (who is a tallish 4 year old, and in age 5-6 casual t-shirts for length) quite well and the 5-6 is huge.

slithytove · 25/08/2017 21:50

I am so surprised, ds starts next month as well and on the uniform list for boys is a cardigan. And I've bought it. He is used to them.

DarkDarkNight · 25/08/2017 21:54

Peer pressure starts much younger than I thought and I think when it comes to Uniform cardigans are seen as very much the girl's option.I bought my son the school cardigan for the same reason, the jumpers have stupidly small head holes and he couldn't take it off himself. He loved it and chose it over jumpers every day for about a week then came home one day refusing to wear it again. A boy had said it was stupid and for girls. He is only Nursery aged Sad. I didn't think kids that young would even notice.

I wish he didn't care so much what other people thought because it is much more practical. He wears cardigans a lot out of Nursery so I don't know what the big deal is.

Peer pressure starts much younger than I thought and I think when it comes to Uniform cardigans are seen as very much the girl's option.

DarkDarkNight · 25/08/2017 21:55

Sorry for the repetition there.

slightlyglittermaned · 25/08/2017 21:55

The first few weeks of term were warm enough not to need it. So if you're worried, wait until after he starts to buy cardigan or jumper so you can see what other kids wear/ask other parents.

I have to say DS has experienced none of the gendered bullying others on the thread have described - so it's not automatically going to be the case. He has long blonde ringlets, and often gets taken for a girl outside school - no comments, and he's not the only boy in class with long hair.

ShoesHaveSouls · 25/08/2017 21:57

I don't think there is anything at all wrong with boys wearing cardigans - but DD's primary stipulates cardigans for girls and jumpers for boys on the uniform list. Weird isn't it?

NotMyPenguin · 25/08/2017 21:58

Depends on the school, maybe? I live around the corner from three different primary schools and regularly see little boys in cardigans.

saoirse31 · 25/08/2017 21:59

Tnever seen a boy wearing a cardigan in sons primary

MrGrumpy01 · 25/08/2017 22:08

I've just checked my primary's uniform list - Boys - Jumper. Girls Jumper or cardigan so at our school a boy in a cardigan would be unusual. The school wouldn't say anything though - they tend to have a fairly relaxed attitude to uniform. I wouldn't have sent my ds in a cardigan, even at 9 he can barely dress himself (asd) but he manages in a way. We can get tank tops, but I see very few children in them.

DD's new secondary school they can only wear jumpers, so no teenage boys rocking the cardis there.

Chattymummyhere · 25/08/2017 22:14

Only ever seen two boys at my children's school wearing cardigans. They don't seem to really play with the other children when I've seen them out at break times. No idea if it's a bully thing or just the two boys in question don't want to play.

My middle child has just finished reception and it has been a very gendered year from the start even in arts and crafts many of the girls where making lipsticks and handbags. They also apparently have bf's they are going to marry and are having X many babies with etc. In the dress up corner they all seem to flock to their gender stereotypes.

sleepyhead · 25/08/2017 22:14

Plenty boys wearing cardigans at ds1s school. Loads of girls in trousers and trainer style black school shoes too.

I think it does depend on the school though. A friend's dd foes to a school a few miles away where the children seem very rigid about girls/boys things. She got bullied for getting her hair cut short and no girl wears trousers. Weird.

Threenme · 25/08/2017 22:19

OP you might get lucky your ds might be like my little darling manage to get it off once promptly lose it and it will never be seen again.Problem solved whatever you buy, and no matter how many times you buy it!!!
In all seriousness I've been in schools a long time and haven't seen boys in cardis, however in my experience the older kids are very very nice to the littlest kids so I can't imagine he'll be mocked if you choose to do it.

youarenotkiddingme · 25/08/2017 22:20

Maybe his school isn't one yet where boys wear the cardi - he could be a mini trend setter Grin

gingergenius · 25/08/2017 22:22

Would suggest you raise the issue with school OP. B sting in mind the shorts/skirts debacle last year in the papers! Absolutely ridiculous to gender segregate any of this uniform, and if they do, then make a fuss. Ffs life is too short to worry about which gender wears a cardigan - plus if DS gets any grief tell him to say 'it's not a cardigan...it's a winter woollen button-up jacket"

That should do the trick!

skyzumarubble · 25/08/2017 22:24

I w never thought of a cardigan as anything but unisex.

Fruitcorner123 · 25/08/2017 22:29

I don''t see any problem with it and other reception children are too young to care what their peers are wearing.

however

My DS struggled with his school sweatshirt as well in reception. I mentioned it at his home visit and encouraged him to ask for help if he couldn't get it off. The teachers encourage independence but are happy to help. Would your DS ask for help if he needed it or just quietly overheat?

He soon learnt to remove it and it wasn't an issue after Christmas

reallyanotherone · 26/08/2017 16:34

Maybe his school isn't one yet where boys wear the cardi - he could be a mini trend setter

My dd changed schools in yr3. She went from a school where trousers/shorts weren't allowed for girls, to a school where girls had the choice of skirts or trousers.

She was utterly fed up of the impracticality of skirts (and the weird trend for wearing shorts under the skirts) so was really keen to get trousers. She turned up for her first day to discover she was the only girl in trousers, the rest all opted for skirts.

By the end of term the vast majority of the girls were wearing trousers :). And having much more fun turning cartwheels and handstands at playtime.

MimsyFluff · 26/08/2017 16:58

My DD's won't wear jumpers to school because "their for boy's" none of the boys wear cardis but a few in infants wear tank tops they look so cute 😍 I wouldn't put my son if I had one in a cardi because I wouldn't want him to bullied ☹️

eyebrowsonfleek · 26/08/2017 17:07

I'm surprised to hear that at some schools, boys wear cardigans. My kids schools have been jumpers for boys and jumpers or cardigans for girls. It's strange that it's gendered like that when my dd lives in unzipped hoodies out of school (which are basically sweatshirts/jumpers) and my sons love hoodies with zips (which are basically like cardigans)
I would buy a cardi/jumper once term has started and you can see how many boys are in cardigans. It shouldn't be too cold to go in just a polo or shirt on day one.

CatsAreAssholes · 26/08/2017 17:09

It's a navy blue cardigan!Confused how is that not for boys? As I missing a small vulva badge on the pocket or what?