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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to get the school cardigan for DS?

78 replies

SwoopRoar · 25/08/2017 21:03

Hello,

DS is going into Reception and finds a jumper really hard to remove. I'm sure a teacher would help him, but it's definitely something that gets him in a bit of a fluster.

They have a cardigan option (they are with school trends, so get the school logo put on) and it hasn't got any silly frills, etc.

He often wears cardigans with shirts, etc. so it looks very unisex to me and in his little shorts, I'm sure he'd look adorable!

I'm just wondering if IWBU? Would children laugh, etc.? It would be so much more suitable. I've added a pic to show you what it's like.

OP posts:

GinAndSonic · 25/08/2017 21:17

If it helps my daughter wore boys shoes in both nursery and reception and the only comment I heard was from a teacher about how practical they were. I dont see a problem with school cardigans for boys (my son loves a Cardi out of school, but manages fine with the sweater in school so wears that)

gingergenius · 25/08/2017 21:17

Do it.

ScarlettDarling · 25/08/2017 21:19

I teach in Y2 and we often have little boys in our school wearing cardies. It's more common in Reception and don't think I've ever seen a boy in our school in any class past Y2 wearing a cardigan. I think it's incredibly cute and can't imagine for a moment your ds would be picked on. 4 year olds wouldn't notice or care and the older ones just love the little ones and would never be mean to them!

grasspigeons · 25/08/2017 21:19

Men wear cardigans but it does seem they are for girls at school. But it's not obvious why. We get lots of international people join reception and they have literally no idea which things are for girls or boys - even pinafores etc. It takes ages to go through it and they look so baffled by some of it.

We've had a few boys buy the cardigans as they are more practical but they drift towards jumpers soon enough.

C0untDucku1a · 25/08/2017 21:20

The teen boys where i work have started to wear cardigans innthe past couple of years. Previoualy only thr girls wore them.

Justdontknow4321 · 25/08/2017 21:21

No boys wears cardis in my daughters school.

Surely the older ones will pick on him and then the younger ones will say something aswell ..

I wouldn't do it, I think your setting him up to get bullied

PerspicaciaTick · 25/08/2017 21:21

YANBU to buy him a cardi, so long as you are ready to pay for a jumper in the not too distant future.

Alanna1 · 25/08/2017 21:23

Our school is with school trends (overpriced IMO). They have a fleece which is much loved by all.

formerbabe · 25/08/2017 21:24

I'm really surprised so many people on this thread have said that they have never seen school boys wearing cardigans... That hasn't been my experience at all.

CreamCheeseBrownies · 25/08/2017 21:24

If he is ok with it you can try it. I don't recall seeing any boys in cardis at our school.

Another suggestion is a tank top. DS didn't remove jumpers in infant school. A tank top meant he didn't overheat too much or get too cold. Next sell them.

Original poster

SwoopRoar · 25/08/2017 21:25

Thank you for all the comments.

Unfortunately the fleece isn't available for their school.

OP posts:

HiJenny35 · 25/08/2017 21:25

Really!!! In both the school I work in and my child's school loads of boys wear the cardigans, I say about 50% cardigan 50% jumper same as the girls, what an odd idea that they are for girls, never even considered it.

NapQueen · 25/08/2017 21:26

What about a thin navy zip up microfleece?

Ds (3) wears cardigans, and Id happily put him in that cardigan you showed.

workshyfop · 25/08/2017 21:27

I did this when DS started in Reception. I thought cardigans were unisex items, there was nothing on the uniform list to suggest otherwise and he often wore cardigans outside of school. I also thought it would be easier on PE days.

He was the only boy wearing one. And after being asked by other children why he was wearing girls clothes he stopped wearing it.

It's stupid, I don't know who decided that boys/men can wear cardigans but at school they're for girls only. But I didn't want to make my DS wear something he didn't want to so that was that.

reallyanotherone · 25/08/2017 21:27

Eh?

This is literally the first time i have ever heard jumpers/boys cardigan/girls...

At our primary it was pretty much 50:50. Both my dd's preferred jumpers, but loads of the boys wore cardi's too. None if tge kids even noticed, let alone picked on ither kids for it.

Actually though, thinking about it, i was always pretty pissed off that the jumpers were labelled "boys" when i bought them. I never put 2&2 together though, i just thought shops always seem to need to gender things so they know which rack it goes on, and had randomly picked male.

Youngest dd has binned off dresses this year in favour of tailored shorts.

Again, it's always the bullies fault. There's always a lot if victim blaming on these threads, don't do this or wear this in case you get picked on...

SuperDandy · 25/08/2017 21:29

Dear fucking christ on a bike, a boy shouldn't wear a cardigan bacause he will surely be bullied, laughed at and teased?! And we make a fuss about girls clothes being restricted to frills and pink.....

RhinestoneCowgirl · 25/08/2017 21:29

Yes you should absolutely get him a cardigan if that's what he wants.

Sadly other kids at his school will line up to tell him that they are 'for girls' . DD had some sturdy shoes for the start of reception that she was really excited about when she started. 'they're just like big brothers!' she said. Then by the end of first week came home in tears because they were 'boys' shoes.

Luckily she is now 8 and deals with the gendered bullshit a bit more.

Bettyspants · 25/08/2017 21:32

My six yr old DS wears a cardigan, can't see the issue

Tulipblank · 25/08/2017 21:33

My ds starts school in September and has also requested a cardi. He hates jumpers and it will be a struggle getting him in a one. I haven't seen any boys wearing them at school (dd going into year 4 so good few years of schooling under our belts), and I imagine it will be about a week before he notices and requests a jumper! He'll be in my dds old cardis til then.

catkind · 25/08/2017 21:35

DS had the cardigan in reception, he started with a jumper but the fit was seriously weird - battle to get his head through the neckhole but arms hanging off his hands. So we tried a cardi and he much preferred it. Easier to pop on and off, he didn't usually do the buttons.

artiface · 25/08/2017 21:36

This is going to sound odd, but have you tried other ways of him taking off his jumper? I remember trying to teach my son and he really couldn't do it, then someone mentioned that men and women often do it differently ( I was showing him the cross over hand method) and lo I saw an article about it (it says shirts but it works for jumpers too)
www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-men-and-women-take-off-shirts-differently_us_57922e9de4b0fc06ec5cb8cf

AnneGrommit · 25/08/2017 21:37

I had the same experience as workshy. The outcome was a confused and upset little boy who had unwittingly opened himself up to all sorts of gendered nonsense that he had no way of understanding. Your call but I'd advise against doing anything to make starting school more difficult and confusing than it needs to be.

Inkythemouse · 25/08/2017 21:38

Ds1 wore a cardigan in reception. He didn't get bullied.

KatherinaMinola · 25/08/2017 21:39

That cardigan buttons on the "woman's side", if that sort of thing bothers you (IME it only bothers people over 65).

Loads of boys at our primary wear cardigans. They are quite popular with secondary boys too - the skinny jeans indie/mod look.

And to echo PP, no-one cares what a 4yo wears - a few of them have little comforters or soft toys with them, or hats in the shape of dinosaurs or whatever. Quite a few children have SN and wear modified versions of the uniform.

My granddad used to wear a cardigan...

youarenotkiddingme · 25/08/2017 21:40

IME plenty of the boys wear a cardigan and lots of the girls choose the jumper.

Girls also often chose tailored shorts as they are far more practical.

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