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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Laughing at mobility scooter?

53 replies

MyPatronusIsABadger · 25/08/2017 20:43

I've had a shit year with lots of mental health issues in my family where I've taken on a lot for others, a death and most recently we've been told DH has terminal cancer. I've recently been put on anti depressants and have had lots of support from my manager who has been incredibly kind. However in general I'm very sensitive may very well be over reacting to what happened today.

My supervisor asked after DH (knows all of this) and I said that because of chemo he's getting incredibly weak and tired and as such he's getting a mobility scooter. This will help him get out and it'll be a bit of a help if he can take our dog out which will save me a job.

Supervisor burst out laughing upon hearing about the scooter. I mean really laughing, covering mouth and giggling 'sorry'.

Would it be unreasonable to mention it to my manager? I just feel it's so insensitive, but maybe it is a funny topic? I really don't think it is, but can accept if iabu because I don't want to be the sort of person that runs off crying every 5 mins!

OP posts:
KingJoffreysRestingCuntface · 25/08/2017 20:45

She sounds hard of thinking.

Practice your Hmm face.

You sound like a fecking hero, BTW. UnMNy hugs to you, DH and dog.

ApproachingATunnel · 25/08/2017 20:49

Your supervisor is vile. No, yanbu or oversensitive.

outofmydepth45 · 25/08/2017 20:52

I don't get what could be remotely funny about a mobility scooter, you supervisor sounds simple. Mention it to your manager but try to forget about it, what a strange person s/he is

Flitter123 · 25/08/2017 20:58

I can only imagine she was laughing because she felt uncomfortable around all the terrible news you've had. Sometimes people react by laughing at things which are really inappropriate and they genuinely can't help it. I'm so sorry for your news by the way.

x2boys · 25/08/2017 21:05

My mum uses a mobility scooter she has osteoporosis and can barely walk I don't think it's remotely funny Flowers for you op.

Seniorcitizen1 · 25/08/2017 21:12

Let it go

UserShmuser · 25/08/2017 21:15

I'm sorry for everything you're going through OP. It was very insensitive to laugh.

But I have a nervous laugh and whenever someone tells me bad news I start laughing. It's awful and I always apologise after. Or if I don't know what to say I just start laughing.

For example dh's dog passed away last week. He's lived with PIL for the last ten years so he's more their dog but they told me they had some sad news and then I couldn't stop laughing. I was apologising through the laughs saying I knew it wasn't funny and I was so sad about it. I got MiL flowers the next day to apologise again!

DesignedForLife · 25/08/2017 21:17

Either she's insensitive or it's extreme nervous laughter. I get it sometimes, makes me want to hide.

Fekko · 25/08/2017 21:17

Why is that funny? I thought this thread was about the bling-tastic ones I saw recently covered in swarovski crystals. Zimmer frames also available from same store.

emma2468 · 25/08/2017 21:18

I use a mobility scooter and am only 33. My children are often with me and they are only 6 & 4. I'd be devastated if someone laughed at me for using it since my choice is use it or don't go out. I'd mention to your manager how upset your supervisor made you feel. It was a very strange reaction.

DismalDaphne · 25/08/2017 21:29

I don't understand why your supervisor found it funny either. Perhaps nervous laughter akin to why some people laugh at funerals etc?? You could ask him or her why perhaps, or decide whether to take the matter further...or decide to just let it go and not waste precious time on it. I can understand how upsetting it must be though. Best wishes - you sound amazing btw.

PurpleDaisies · 25/08/2017 21:34

I can only imagine she was laughing because she felt uncomfortable around all the terrible news you've had.

I agree. This can sometimes happen at funerals. People's awkwardness/sadness comes out as laughter.

Did they seem genuinely mortified?

ScarlettDarling · 25/08/2017 21:36

Op, you sound really brave. You're going through such a lot. [Flowers] for you.

Today I was in a cafe with my dc and saw a man go past on a mobility scooter with his teeny little dog on a lead zooming along to try to keep up. It did look funny. Not in a laugh out loud way, but it made us smile. Perhaps your colleague got a similar amusing picture in your head when you mentioned your dh taking the dog out?!

Try to forget it. She was insensitive but it's not worth worrying about. I hope your husband really enjoys the freedom his mobility scooter gives him.

Papafran · 25/08/2017 21:39

What? I hope you just stood there in silence until she stopped and then asked her why precisely she feels that your husband having terminal cancer and needing assistance is in any way amusing.

I would speak to her and tell her that you are disgusted with how she reacted. Unless you get a profuse apology along the lines that it was nervous laughter, you should speak to your manager. You don't need this shit.

Flowers

BabsGanoush · 25/08/2017 21:59

How unprofessional - how did she make supervisor?

dolcezza99 · 25/08/2017 22:03

Yeah, I'd report her. No excuse for "nervous laughter", these people need to learn to control themselves.

Letstryagainshallwe · 25/08/2017 22:08

Literally can't think how that is funny at all. I have also never heard of anyone laughing at bad news or funerals though either.

MyPatronusIsABadger · 25/08/2017 22:08

I do understand nervous laughter but he'd just asked how DH was and I'd said poorly etc as only just had another round of chemo at the same time as getting a cold. He asked if we had plans for the weekend and I said probably relaxing/building strength then said next weekend should be better as we'd have a mobility scooter by then.

I did just zone out and stare then smile and say I needed to get on.

OP posts:
MyPatronusIsABadger · 25/08/2017 22:12

I should say this person also works in a social work type field so you think you should know better, however I'm early 30s so he could have laughed nervously as you'd picture an older person in a scooter perhaps?

OP posts:
DodgyGround · 25/08/2017 22:14

Shit op. I'm young with children aged 4&7 and need to hire one on big days out. And this sort of reaction is exactly the reason I'm too afraid to. So I miss activities that I might otherwise manage.

SilverySurfer · 25/08/2017 22:16

What a pathetic idiot - pm me his address and I shall go and run over his toes repeatedly with my mobility scooter.

NC4now · 25/08/2017 22:20

This is awful. I'm so sorry this happened.
I can only guess he had some back story/ in joke/ mental picture that made him laugh but it really wasn't funny.
You must feel really betrayed. It must affect your professional relationship with him.
I'm not good at dealing with this kind of thing but I think you're well within your rights to feel affronted by it. You sound like you are coping with a lot and a little bit of compassion would go a long way.
Very unprofessional.

Somerford · 25/08/2017 22:21

How approachable is your supervisor, OP? I think it would be best to speak to him directly if that's viable.

If I were in your position I'd be upset and angry about that to put it mildly so I don't think its helpful to tell you to just forget about it. It's reasonable for you to want some kind of restoration and an apology. Going over your supervisor's head could make your life difficult though. It shouldn't but it could. Could you ask to speak to your supervisor in private so you tell him that you were upset and would expect a more supportive attitude? If he acknowledges that and apologises, then you can forget about it and move on and you haven't got the added stress of wondering what the repercussions might be for having complained about him to his boss.

WellThisIsShit · 25/08/2017 23:12

I'd report it. Absolutely no excuse. Then avoid the spam headed wank faced cock badger as much as possible.

The only kind of person who laughs st terminal cancer and mobility scooters is one who is irredeemably sick inside.

Is there any way you can move teams or better, any way the sick disablist bitch can be removed from sharing your air?

I'm afraid I'm angry, as a mobility scooter user and someone who fights the humiliation I feel inside to use it. It's given me back my ability to go out though.

Massive massive good thing, but other people's sick fucking attitudes can rip that away. Sick fuckers.

It's ok to be upset. And/ or angry. And really taken aback and shocked at this foul woman. It's ok to feel whatever feelings you feel. It took me a long time to realise that after I became disabled and became exposed to this type of person. I spent far too long trying to rise above it, laugh with them, trying to stop being so sensitive, see it from their side, accept ignorance as a cover-all armour plated excuses.

But that wears me down, drop by prejudiced drip. And it harms me. Whilst they get to walk away privilege in tact and ready to do it again to the next person.

So, I'm learning another way. Ending the tolerance of the intolerable.

The only way I've learnt to deal with it is to judge them instantly and absolutely.

They show their grotesque little minds and the only way I know how to stop them having such power over me is to slam the shutters down with extreme force. Bam! They're cut off from you by the strongest metal you can find. They are indeed 'dead to me' (!).

There's no apology or rationale on the world that would erase the vileness of what just came spewing out of their guts. And no, I don't have to raise myself above it or dig deep to be tolerant and understanding of their little slip up. When they showed me who they are.

No interaction, no engagement and no obligation to listen to whatever simpering excuse they try and cover their arses with.

Zero tolerance.

So, I'd be thinking "thanks for letting your foul stinking insides show on the outside"

It's quicker and easier when thicko idiots do that, so i know who to avoid. Great to know so I don't waste any time or emotional energy on that vile person.

WellThisIsShit · 25/08/2017 23:13

Sorry I thought he was a she, rearrange pronouns in my post please!