Laughing at mobility scooter?

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I've had a shit year with lots of mental health issues in my family where I've taken on a lot for others, a death and most recently we've been told DH has terminal cancer. I've recently been put on anti depressants and have had lots of support from my manager who has been incredibly kind. However in general I'm very sensitive may very well be over reacting to what happened today.

My supervisor asked after DH (knows all of this) and I said that because of chemo he's getting incredibly weak and tired and as such he's getting a mobility scooter. This will help him get out and it'll be a bit of a help if he can take our dog out which will save me a job.

Supervisor burst out laughing upon hearing about the scooter. I mean really laughing, covering mouth and giggling 'sorry'.

Would it be unreasonable to mention it to my manager? I just feel it's so insensitive, but maybe it is a funny topic? I really don't think it is, but can accept if iabu because I don't want to be the sort of person that runs off crying every 5 mins!

What an fing bitch - id defo complain.

OP im sorry to hear about your DHs illness

There was a segment on Channel 4 news tonight about a survey that disabled people filled in and the unanimous result was that they felt things hadnt improved since the London Paralympics five years ago. In fact its got worse.

DH would be stuffed without his mobility scooter. He has emphysema and cannot breathe well enough to walk.

Your supervisor was an absolute cunt. 'Nervous laughter', my arse.

If it happens again, ask them what the fuck they think is so funny.

Someone I worked laughed about my dad's Parkinson's disease once - not nervously, either - and I'm afraid I did tell her very bluntly what I thought of her.

Woah.. calms down a bit well I'd guess it was nervous laughter possibly mixed with that childishness inside a lot of people when thinking of anyone other than elderly on a mobility scooter. I laughed really nervously and awkwardly to the point I hid in the bathroom until I could stop, when I found out a great uncle had died.. I felt awful but I laughed. Even when I found out my daughter could die I was crying but still let out a smaller nervous laugh.. it's how some people cope with so much bad news or listening to others bad news. It seems so disrespectful but maybe they meant no harm. Try asking why they laughed, I would have.

Sounds like a stupid thing to have done but maybe the PP was into something when they mentioned the person on a mo Uluru scooter walking a dog. I KNOW it doesn't make it ok but maybe he just got a funny picture in his head of someone on a mobility scooter whizzing around with a teeny dog running behind. I Completely 100% understand that that would still be stupid and that it would still be rude but it must get possibly explain the inappropriate laughter.

Otherwise I don't get how using a mobility scooter would be funny even to the the hard of thinking IYSWIM. 🤷🏻‍♀️

WellThisIsShit.

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My H uses a wheelchair and mobility scooter when we are on holiday as he has MS and can hardly walk . Why did they think it was remotely funny that your H was going to use one?

It's not up the OP to try and 'manage' someone's inappropriate reaction to her partners devastating illness and all that goes with it. Especially as that person is her direct superior at work.

If this person does have that unfortuneate 'nervous laugh', which seems very unlikely to be honest... however if they do, then it is entirely on them to make it right. A grown adult needs to take responsibility for a reaction that causes deep distress to others who are already going through a devastating time. They need to own it and manage it. Certainly not expect the person they've done that to to bend over backwards to make it all ok.

So I'd assume that unless this woman has reached out and apologised sincerely and absolutely, showing understanding of how their completely inappropriate reaction caused pain and upset to someone already going through an awful time... well, unless she's done that, then she either intended to be so vile, or she's a coward who is happy to leave a trail of upset behind her rather than take responsibility for her own behaviour.

Either way, complain like hell, as you need to be free of this persons terrible reactions. You have enough to bear without her imposing her vileness onto you.

I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time. Supervisor sounds like a complete tosser. Please just ignore it, don't waste a minute on it. Lee going x

*keep going x

Thank you for your replies.

I think supervisor is a dick in general who should know better seeing as they work in Social Work type field. They've been snappy at me recently as they're leaving our organisation soon due to failing appraisals etc but I did think asking after DH was showing kindness at first.

I know he's not sorry as he said about DH needing a tartan blanket for his scooter, I just think he's s dick who did yet another dickish thing.

I'm not going to make a big deal of it and I'll try not to give it headspace but I do want to let my manager know. I definitely think supervisor isn't approachable as they're a sweary, disorganised mess and are currently failing in this promoted post. When I came in after taking a day working at home because we'd just found the cancer he only asked if I'd be able to carry on doing the job.....didn't ask after DH or myself.

But I will try to put it out of my head and learn from it so I can practice my Paddington hard stare.

Well yes, a dick saying dick things then!

Do report and do make it clear you are reporting in order to protect yourself against upset at a time when you are totally focused on other, personal concerns. Make sure the manager you report to understands that you will not be sucked into any unpleasantness concerning this like big meetings or face to face confrontations with dick-face. You're reporting to remove the upset from your field of view, not go through any more.

Good luck

Ps i accessorise myself and my scooter with cool stuff where I can, and give in to the unstylish functional ugh stuff when I've tried other stuff and need the functionality of the stuff made for scooters. Motorbike and moped accessories make good alternatives by the way :)

Thanks Well, that's really good advice about work, and the scooter!

Can't wait to get out and about with DH on some lovely autumn walks, no boring blankets needed (but he's still my same old DH who loves a gadget or accessory!)

Think it's a bit off. Reportable no.

Thinking of you and your dh op. Most people aren't so cruelly insensitive and uncaring.

That reaction was well out of order.
There's a Viz character called Foul mouthed mobility scooter woman and maybe that popped into their head when you mentionedthe mobility scooter.
Either way, a bad reaction.

I can't stand the nervous laughter excuse either, people who laugh at funerals or when someone's dog dies need to stay inside if they can't control themselves.

Thinking of both you, your DH, and your families OP.

Supervisor is definitely a nasty bastard, good thing he's leaving but still report and forget about him. Enjoy being with your husband

Poor you OP I cannot imagine he is anything other than weirdly emotionally stunted and very horrible. Glad he is going.

I would make a written complaint to the manager - it's awful behaviour which could be construed as bullying as well. If the tartan blanket reference was made later make sure you include that too and identify it as a continuation of his deliberate bullying attempts to make fun of your husband.

Oh and have a lovely weekend scooting about together xx

I had a Mobility Scooter from age 27 to 30. I went everywhere on it because of my Disability.
Then again, when I split up with DDs Dad he then started taking the piss out of me and making fun of me for 'embarrassing him' with my Mobility Scooter. When at the time he always said he was fine with it..... Brome my heart into a million pieces that did. So I can imagine how this made you feel

Right I'm not condoning this as it's bloody atrocious behaviour but when someone mentions mobility scooters in my head I picture the granny robbing the shop in irn bru advert or a wee old guy who literally had the worst road rage where I used to live an used to speed up the road the wrong way.. oh also we have some really old roads between villages and one guy used to use his to get from village to village holding up bloody lorries, so when someone says scooters I can't help but picture these scenarios...

However he knows your situation it's not remotely funny nor does it even excuse nervous laughter. A "that is shit but at least he can get out and get some fresh air" would have been the right reaction.

I'm so sorry you are going through all of this work would be the last place I'd be you are a trooper and should be proud at how strong you are being.

So sorry you're going through all this, OP.
This chap sounds like a massive cunt. Nervous/inappropriate laughter reactions is something most of us can probably identify with at one time or another, but that shit about the tartan blanket just added insult to injury. For me the threshold of whether I should complain/say something has been passed, but it's completely understandable if you feel you have enough on your plate at this time without getting into that.
I'm a social worker and I think his conduct is doubly appalling if that's the field he works in. What a prick. to you.

Sometimes people react by laughing at things which are really inappropriate and they genuinely can't help it

This. It's difficult to understand but it really does happen.
Not to me but to my exdh a couple of times when receiving some very bad news.

But those people explain and apologise - and when you do it as a line manager you better control yourself or you pay the price ...