Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not missing my husband when his away

49 replies

callmemamma · 25/08/2017 20:15

Husband is away across the ocean.This is not something I am used to,last time he went a year ago for the same reason(work related)The point is I do not really miss him.To be honest I quite enjoy doing things totally my way and not having him around.It was different last year when I have missed him a lot every single day!Not sure what kind of response I expect just wanted to hear from anyone who is or was in similar situation.

OP posts:
lucydogz · 25/08/2017 20:17

enjoy it! I love my DH, but really enjoy time to myself

WhooooAmI24601 · 25/08/2017 20:18

DH works away sometimes. I love it when he's here and we spend time together but I also love when he's away. Totally normal to enjoy time to yourself.

If anything it makes things even more lovely when he returns. The only thing I don't like about it is that the DCs are finding it harder as they get older when he's away.

Original poster
callmemamma · 25/08/2017 20:18

*he is not his of course,this was suggested by dictionary!

OP posts:
SarahJonesS · 25/08/2017 20:18

My DP works away a lot. I enjoy the peace and having the bed to myself Grin

donajimena · 25/08/2017 20:19

I don't miss my DP when he's away. I love it. But I sure wouldn't like it to be permanent is there a bigger picture, ?

House2home · 25/08/2017 20:19

Dh worked away for a few days every week for the last 3 years. He now has a job round the corner and tbh I miss my evenings alone.
Sometimes he would call for a chat and I'd pretend I'd gone to sleep already Blush

laurzj82 · 25/08/2017 20:20

YANBU. Love it when DP works away. Although do love having him back too.

jmh740 · 25/08/2017 20:20

My husband has gone to see his dad for a week. I'm enjoying the peace I've eaten all the food he doesn't like, watched TV in peace and am planning on ordering a curry tomorrow he doesn't like the curry place I like so we always get chinese if we have a take away. That doesn't mean to say I don't want him home I'm just enjoying my own space for a few days, if I could get rid of the kids too it would be bliss.

Reppin · 25/08/2017 20:21

I think it is more normal to not miss them. I would hate to be in one of those relationships where couples are never apart. That is weird.

SarahJonesS · 25/08/2017 20:23

jmh yes! I love being able to eat what I want and more importantly eat it on the sofa instead of at the table like civilised adults. I then lie in bed all night watching crap on YouTube. I'm well sophisticated

KentMum2008 · 25/08/2017 20:29

My DH works away a fair bit and I can handle a night or 2 away, but I hate it when it's longer than that. It's not that we are never apart, we do plenty of things separately. I'll quite happily read a book downstairs while he's watching tv in bed, we go out with friends separately etc. We can be in the same place and not in each other's space iyswim. But I hate not having him there chatting to me while I doze off and not feeling him snuggle into me when he wakes up in the morning.

His physical presence in the house soothes me in a way I can't quite explain, but I do have a lot of insecurity issues. Not about my looks or things like that, but actual physical safety/security. I appreciate that I'm in the minority, and that it's possibly not healthy. But I genuinely hate it when he's not here.

theancientmarinader · 25/08/2017 20:30

DH just left today for another week. Even as I lay in bed this morning I was already imagining a blissful week of sleep where I don't have to shove him to roll over and stop snoring several times a night. And I can watch crap tv.
I don't think I've ever missed him when he's been away tbh. I'm quite happy on my own, pottering about. It does mean I get to do all the fetching and carrying of children, which is a bit of a pita (and cooking, and ironing, and all the other things he is jolly useful for).
I'm not worried about not missing him though. I am entirely comfortable in our relationship. You sound as though you are worrying about how you feel. Something deeper going on?

Original poster
callmemamma · 25/08/2017 20:31

Whoooo,I know what you mean about children.My 9 year old dd cried when he was leaving and a 5 yo ds was not that bothered or not understanding enough I think.
It's just that normally we never apart and last year it was different.This time I couldn't wait for him to go and felt guilty when realised this...

OP posts:
Nomoreboomandbust · 25/08/2017 20:34

It's because it's a novelty op so you know it's a nice interlude of you time.

Those of us whose partners frequently work away abroad for months at a time it's bloody hard being the sole parent and doing everything.

Still when he's home for months at a time that's worse Grin

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 25/08/2017 20:37

DH is Royal Navy, so away a lot! When he's away for a short time I admit I love many things- having the tv off, going to bed when I like (I do this anyway, but he sighs when I come in and wake him up), doing my jigsaw with my music on, watching crappy movies with the kids (instead of some shite about sheds/ restoring cars/ fishing for prawn in the Atlantic)
But when he's away for a while, I get to missing him. He's been home for a couple of weeks now, and I'm remembering just how much easier some things are with 2 adults in the house (housework, dropping kids here and there, dog walking)

MrsJayy · 25/08/2017 20:42

I love when dh is away with work it is lovely and i don't miss him he is away fishing tomorrow over night i am going to get an M nS meal posh crisps and watch hairspray or dream girls can't decide might be a rebel and watch both Grin. Op it is just the novelty factor don't think about it to much and enjoy it.

liz70 · 25/08/2017 20:42

Another wicked wife who doesn't miss her husband one bit when he takes his annual work trip abroad. Grin This year was even better - he was away for two weeks, not one. We'd bought a Chromecast just before he left, so I had plenty to watch, and our dog to keep me company at night. What's to miss? Grin

tissuesosoft · 25/08/2017 20:44

DP works shifts and I really like it. I can watch what I want on tv, spread out on the bed and I hide a stash of treats to have that I don't need to share!

MrsJayy · 25/08/2017 20:45

Btw i can do and eat all those thing when he is here it is just better when he is not.

Original poster
callmemamma · 25/08/2017 20:46

When I was younger and was not in a relationship I often wondered if I could be a seaman's wife and I think deep down I felt I couldn't even though this was totally hypothetical.And now there you go!He is back on Sunday and I wish we wasn't here for another week or so...

OP posts:
BackforGood · 25/08/2017 20:47

My dh is away a lot - mostly with hobby and volunteering, but more and more with work too. I love it. Grin Doesn't mean I don't love him, but it is nice sometimes to just have a bit of space.

Disclaimer - my dc are big and independent now. I found it very hard when they were very little.

Mummaofboys · 25/08/2017 20:48

My husband works away often and I love him to bits but I don't really miss him, I get the bed to myself, I choose what's on the TV and what's for dinner I don't care if the housework isn't up to scratch. It's a nice novelty, don't worry just enjoy your down time x

Mulch · 25/08/2017 20:49

Nothing to feel guilty about, it's normal to enjoy abit of space. It's only cause for concern if your unhappy when he's around.

StealthPolarBear · 25/08/2017 20:50

Don't recognise this at all. Mine never bloody leaves

Allthewaves · 25/08/2017 20:51

Dh works away during the week. I miss him but love doing my own thing. I decide what we eat, have my own kids routine, no one else to consult with and best bit having tv and bed to myself

Swipe left for the next trending thread