Self catering isn't a holiday. It's the same rubbish in a different location.

[wintersdawn]

We are currently 3 days into a 10 day self catering holiday and I'm sick of it already. My DH loves self catering holidays as they are a break from work and a different location and he can spend the whole time winding down from work and enjoying the break from the commuting routine.

But for me it's just the same shit in a different place, DD6 and DS4 still wake up early no matter how late we let them stay up. We either head off somewhere for the day which seems to always cost a fortune or involve lots of driving or stay in the house but without all their normal toys and entertainment options. We aren't near a beach this time which would normally give the children hours of entertainment, as we are staying in a relations house whilst they are away to save money. We don't have the budget to eat out each night and so the same cleaning, cooking, washing crap happens as it would at home.

I know we needed a cheap holiday this year as we've just had to replace the car and we did the kitchen at the start of the year but this is the 4th year in a row of self catering and I'm over them.

I can't be the only one who gets dragged down by self catering? Can I?

Self catering: barbecues, local food, yummy food when you want it, where you want it with as much wine as you want. In your shorts, gardening trousers, candles in the garden. Bloody marvellous. We eat out maybe twice/three times a week. Cannot think of anything worse than hotel times, communal eating and dressing up for it.

I would always choose self-catering holidays! All inclusive hotel holiday would be my worst nightmare - too many people and not enough privacy. You have to get your dh to share the work though and stick to easy to cook food. And bring enough kids' entertainment.

HOWEVER it does depend on where your house/villa/gite is. I went on one holiday where the villa was in the middle of a wood in France, many miles away from civilisation - not so much fun. IMO the place needs to have a pool or shared pool, be close (walk or very short drive) to supermarket, restaurants, beach, things to do (mini golf, water park etc).

Wow that got far more responses than I expected!!

DH is trying more today but he's so used to being at work long hours that a lot of the basic everyday things just don't occur to him. He has tried to cook dinner tonight but has had at question every step that it would have been easier to just do it myself.

I never understood what my mum meant when she said the caravanning trips we did as a kid weren't a holiday for her, in my mind they were amazing, but I totally understand her view now.

Sounds shit cos of your OH, as people have said. Me and my Son's dad did loads of self-catering (SC), without probs cos he or I would cook, then the other would naturally clear up. I did do most of the childcare cos of breastfeeding/weaning etc. And nowadays SC is fine, but I accept that as the only parent present I will be doing it all. Takeaways used as necessary in both scenarios. SC falls down when there are problems elsewhere. And believe me, there were so many problems in my relationship with my Son's dad! Yet they reared their head at EuroDisney (hotel), not SC.

Some males may help out and cook/clean on a self catering, but the majority don't and some women just take it on board that it is THEIR job, perhaps because they are brainwashed into thinking it is all their work. And it generally is.

The men tend to do the fun things with the children.

No way would I ever do a self catering holiday. Ever.

And my OH agrees. We are equally lazy! lol.

Why on earth are you doing everything????

Why would any modern woman be married to a man who still expected women to do all the work?

Fuck that. Have some self respect people!

Yanbu. We had some SC holidays when the kids were little and it is hard work. Especially if they are up really early too. If you DH isn't pulling his weight you probably feel really unappreciated. Make the decision to spend the rest of the break doing fun stuff and eating out a bit if you can.

We normally go SC and it's fine -we eat out a lot and keep it simple otherwise. But this year we've gone all inclusive at a holiday camp in the UK and it's been out of this world, absolutely fantastic. I'll be really sad going home tomorrow. DS was crying in bed as he's so sad to be going - that's never happened before. I'm normally not much into holidays but I've so enjoyed this one. No cooking, room cleaned and fresh towels every day, beach literally two minutes walk away, pool, activities, it's been fab.

I prefer SC as I hate eating out (limited choice of foods for vegetarians, and it's usually not particularly nice either so I resent paying for it). Instead I pick treats up from the supermarket, stuff I wouldn't indulge in at home.

Totally agree, no lie in or holiday just same shit washing tidying up and cooking my ds1 is an incredibly restricted eater due to ASD but the only thing you can't get is vile turkey dinosaurs so he goes vegetarian for the week and I spend time picking bits out of his food lol

The lack of lie in would be the same in full board or SC holiday, though, surely.

He has tried to cook dinner tonight but has had at question every step that it would have been easier to just do it myself.

Go for a walk and return when he's done.

DH is trying more today but he's so used to being at work long hours that a lot of the basic everyday things just don't occur to him. He has tried to cook dinner tonight but has had at question every step that it would have been easier to just do it myself

I think you'll find that's his cunning plan.

In that case he needs a lot more practice so you must let him cook dinner every night until he's grasped the basics.

' He has tried to cook dinner tonight but has had at question every step that it would have been easier to just do it myself. '

Do NOT fall for that bullshit! Don't do it yourself. In fact, leave whilst he cooks. He's perfectly capable of doing new tasks without assistance at work why not at home?

I have a lab rule with new students.

The first time, I show them how it's done or guide them as they do it.
The second time, I am around to check it's being done properly and answer the odd question that wasn't clear the first time.
The following times, they are on their own.

You can do something similar to your OH. After this first time with all the questions, don't answer any more. He'll learn better if he figures it out for himself.
And don't worry if it takes him half a day.

DH is trying more today but he's so used to being at work long hours that a lot of the basic everyday things just don't occur to him
He's 'trying'? what is it that's so hard, that he's got to 'try'. Surely the basic tasks do occur to him, he's just choosing not to do them.
He must know you all need to eat 3 times a day and that the kitchen needs to be tided afterwards.
He must know his children need drinks getting / playing with / helping to get dressed / teeth brushed. Honestly it's not hard.
I bet if he was faced with a slight change of role in work, he wouldn't be this incompetent.

He has tried to cook dinner tonight but has had at question every step that it would have been easier to just do it myself
Surely he cooks sometimes at weekends/holidays though? It sounds like he's choosing to make a big deal out of it so you will do it in the future.

If he really wanted to cook dinner, he could. He can look things up on the internet if he gets stuck.

Depends on your definition of SC surely? I always go SC. Do breakfast and maybe a toastie for lunch (although they are 5€ at the pool bar). Eat out every night. But I always go to Greece and it can be dirt cheap compared to home.

I would never go AI. The thought of eating at the same place every night, especially a hotel buffet, is appalling to me and it does no good to the local economy.

BUT WTF are you doing everything?

Who used to do all these basic tasks that don't occur to him before you came along?

SC is my favourite! We do one SC cottage holiday per year and for me it trumps the naice holidays abroad. We always ensure to get a house bigger, better than our own and has all the mod cons that we don't have.

I do about 3 bulk meals before I go, stick them in the cool box in the car ready to put in freezer/fridge when we arrive. Last time I did spag bol, chicken curry (marinated chicken pieces, just had to cook them) and chicken fajitas. All I had to do in evening was make pasta/rice etc.

We are always looking for new SC places, please share your recommendations, particularly those with a pool

What you are doing is house sitting with a lazy Dh. No it's not a holiday.

Make sure you have a lie in tomorrow let dh get up with the dc. Then find the nearest tourist information and plan days out in local area.

If the weather's nice have dinner in the garden with a glass of wine, and do a BBQ on another evening.

I know it's shit, when money is tight, and you are not anywhere you would normally choose to be. But you can salvage this with planning and giving yourself small things to look forward to. But DH has to step up too.

sc is just a different kitchen

I fucking hear ya, sister.

I feel your pain.

We always self-cater as it's far simpler than eating out (especially abroad) with multiple allergies/dietary requirements. However, I make it very clear that I'm supposed to be on holiday too so the family, including DH, have to pull thier weight too. If I cook, then I don't wash up. Now DD1 is at Uni, she will sometimes cook which is lovely but then she doesn't wash up and I will muck in with that.

If your DH spends the time sitting on his backside doing FA because "it's his holiday" then he is bang out of order and you need to read the riot act.

We jave just come back from a SC holiday in the south of France, so nice and hot, but nowhere near a beach. It is a friend's house, so similar to the OP housesitting.

Morning was:
DH took dog for small wander through village to buy bread and (sometimes) pain au chocolat. DS ate porridge or one small box multipack cereal.
Quick wash up of breakfast stuff while one of us makes a picnic, then that gets washed up (one knife, wipe down breadboard!).
Lunch: picnic.
Dinner:
Take-away pizza from the fab pizza van man, or pre-made roast chicken from Carrefour. One night pasta pesto. One night some pre-made breaded chicken and dauphine potatoes. Minimal washing up.

One night we ate out.

We aimed to stay 6 nights - it ended up as 8

DH and i do 50-50 otherwise he'd be stabbed by a croissant feel my wrath.

We have a 5yo child and a dog. We had a whale of a time climbing hills, looking round castles, visited a cave, swam in rivers, enjoyed our picnics.