To want to kick out my lodger?

[BlueDecor]

Apart from never lifting a finger to clean anything despite using all the facilities including 17 minutes in the shower 3 times a day on Sunday using all my gas and hot water yesterdays discovery made me feel both sick and angry. To the point where I won't even speak to him.
I was cleaning the bathroom and noticed that the bath was wet yet again. It never gets used and the bathmat hanging over the side always seems to be soaked. It's only used to bathe the children when they're round.
Anyway I queried it with the f***t only to be told that he's been using it as a bidet after a poo.
The dirty bastard has been hosing the klinkers off his arse into my bath with the shower attachment. DP wants to kill him I just want him out.
Any advice?

I thought it was "fuckwit" redthunder

jaxhog unless everyone who uses your bath deep cleans and sterilises their arsehole before using it chances are you have poo bits in your bath water anyway.

I'm afraid I lost sympathy with you the moment you made it clear that you time his showers to the minute.

Also, presumably you wouldn't ban him from taking a bath or a shower, during which he would obviously wash his bum as a matter of course anyway because everyone does, so what's the problem with him washing it after a poo? Baths and showers are literally there for the purpose of washing; you do realise that you and your family and your family also possess arseholes and also wash them whenever they have a bath or shower?

You sound a bit like the creepy aunt and uncle from The League of Gentlemen who set ground rules about which toilet you can use for 'solids' and tell guests exactly how long they can wash their hands for.

Everyone should bidet/ shower bidet before getting in the bath/shower.

Do you not wash your own arse then OP? Lots of cultures consider wiping but not washing filthy.

i lodged with someone who kept a watering can next to the loo

what nationality/religion is your lodger op?

also perhaps your lodger needs to shower his arse due to arse problems, piles, fissures, etc.,

YABU.

Get off his case. Re cleaning devise a schedule and be clear about expected standards.

BastardGoDarkly

yes that's right.... of course that's obviously what I meant...

I don't see the problem

Right.

Um, I'm guessing he's not British then?

Because whenever I've spoken with anyone European, they find us to be incredibly dirty because we don't have bidets.

Really not sure about this. Presumably any bits you and your husband (and DC?) have not managed to get rid of via loo paper are also washed off in the shower/bath even if you're not aware?.

I would just insist he cleans the bath every time and checks the trap once a week. And pays more towards the hotwater and electric - do you have an intelligent meter?

If you do find it awful and don't get on with him, then just ask him to leave. And make sure you lay down your rules for your next lodger - including help round the house.

"i lodged with someone who kept a watering can next to the loo"

That certainly is much more sensible and economical with water.

Why are you timing his showers?

I lived in Malaysia where they have a little squirty trigger hosepipe attached to the water supply - it was lovely - very refreshing given how sweaty your bits can get in hot weather.

I don't see the issue with the washing - with getting water everywhere, sure, but washing a bottom with a shower sounds pretty usual to me.

Well if you start noticing that your lodger has 3 showers a day, and then realise that they go on for quite some time, you probably do get curious one day and time it?

Can you buy some of those wet toilet wipes for him instead. He is trying to be clean.

spaghetti shower bidets that you use on the toilet are great.

Washing out your arse after a poo in the tub not so much

My DH likes to shower after a visit.....he likes the powerful massage option! Gets the bits out.

I think it's fine. However I don't think he should have actually spelled it out! Because now obviously you have an actual picture of him crouched in your bath parting his arse cheeks and having a good old probe with your shower head! Nice.

Just ask him to leave, you will never be able to lie in your bath without shuddering while he is still under your roof.

I know some people are suggesting it's cleaner but that's in regards to his personal hygiene, not the shared area.

To be it seems a bit gross for the same reason I hate the seat being left up when flushing. It's the spray factor. It's the same reason you shouldn't wash raw chicken under a tap. You're just spraying bacteria everywhere.

Bath comparison not entirely accurate, you aren't spraying water as such. And I don't think the shower comparison is necessarily accurate either, depending on if/how well he's wiping himself prior to his hose down.

You've also got to remember that no matter how clean is arsehole is, he doesn't clean up after himself around the house so he won't be cleaning the bath after doing this, and as the bath isn't regularly used by anyone else in the house they've probably not seen reason to clean it as regularly either (until now).

What's the issue?

Tissue paper? When you're dirty elsewhere you don't wipe it in, you wash it off.

He washes himself.

In the bath.

Which is for washing in...

so what do you do when you DUMP at work ? wash your Arse in the sinks ??