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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this unnesaccery

86 replies

Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 19:04

I was in my sons bedroom earlier sorting out clothes. My son had managed to climb from his bed up onto the window sill. The window was locked he was up there for a few of minutes then I walked over and stood at the window with him and pointed out a man cutting the grass across the road (think that's what he climbed up to see) anyway about 10 minutes later my door knocks it was 2 women from across the road at the children's centre (there is one directly opposite my house across the road) but it's the back of the centre so I'm unsure how they spotted my son at the window. And he was no longer there when they knocked a good 10 minutes later. So aibu in thinking it was extreme of them to knock?!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 23/08/2017 20:22

OP. Children are neglected with enough frequency for a children's center to be morally obliged to chase up a concern raised. Two of them came to politely knock and make you aware. You could have thought he was having a nap, the window might be easily unlockable, it might have been the first timehe did it and he might not have been safe. By letting you know you could protect from future accidents.
You have done this already but the friendly people are the childrens center don't know that.

And they came in 2's in case you lie about what they said, assualtes them etc. So for their sake not yours.

Sirzy · 23/08/2017 20:23

Don't leave him in the room alone? Move him every time he goes near? Don't encourage him by allowing it like you did in the OP.

Your last post mentions double standards (which as pp said isn't the case) yet you have posted you try to stop him and that you stand and let him - so who has double
Standards? And double standards that confuse a child!

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 23/08/2017 20:23

How old is he

I didn't see the other thread. But I would be saying the same thing. If I saw a small child alone on a window sill I would be knocking on. I honestly can't think why anyone would think that was a bad thing to do

ilovesooty · 23/08/2017 20:24

Those people didn't know it has a key. They don't know you've never opened it. They don't know all the ins and outs from where they were.

Is this difficult to comprehend?

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 20:25

I was half way through sorting the clothes I had a massive pile in my hands. I removed him as soon as I could! And anyway as said a whole thread and everyone said to mind there business so yes very interesting.!

OP posts:
Bringbackpublicfloggings · 23/08/2017 20:26

It's nice there are people out there who will go out of their way if they think a child may be in danger, better safe than sorry.

Sirzy · 23/08/2017 20:26

You said you went over and stood there with him pointing things out - hardly stopping him is it Hmm

user1488397844 · 23/08/2017 20:26

Don't let him in there without you? Teach him? Discipline him? I bet you were bloody rude to those people who very kindly notified you they had noticed your son managing to climb on to a window just incase you hadn't noticed! This is absolutely bizarre "AIBU I was arsey to other people who cared about my childs welfare & don't bother telling me I am because I'm not" .. Odd.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 20:27

And don't leave him in the room alone that's ridiculous since it's his room and he sleeps in there and sometimes wakes before me!

OP posts:
SoosanCarter · 23/08/2017 20:27

It's unnecessary, by the way, just so you know how to spell it next time.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 20:29

Holding onto him! Yes I can show him out the window whilst I'm stood next to him! That isn't mixed messages! Lots of people hold there kids up to windows an show them thins outside! I've told him not to climb up himself though. Your seriously suggesting kids never look out of windows Hmm

OP posts:
lololove · 23/08/2017 20:29

I still get told - at the age of 32 - about the time someone knocked to tell my mum and dad i was climbing on the window sill in my bedroom to have a nosey through the window when i was a toddler. People care - it's nice. You may not have known.... better you know than the other darker side.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 20:30

Your really pointing out a spelling mistake? Sad.

OP posts:
aaaaargghhhhelpme · 23/08/2017 20:30

Sooty - yes apparently it is difficult...

If this is how you reacted when the people came round I feel quite sorry for them

Sirzy · 23/08/2017 20:32

So your trying to stop him from climbing on a windowsill whilst standing with him at the same windowsill encouraging him to look out and you can't see how that gives a young child mixed messages?

Looking out of windows is fine, but not when that is a window your trying to discourage climbing at!

FloweryTeapot · 23/08/2017 20:32

Seeing a small child on an upstairs windowsill would make me anxious for their safety. Even if the window is locked the child could trip or stumble or lose balance and maybe break it.

I would definitely want to alert an adult in the house about it, and would almost certainly knock. I couldn't ignore it. I am quite overprotective where small children are concerned and maybe sometimes see danger where there is little or none - nevertheless I have to act on it because I would never forgive myself if I walked on by and something terrible happened.
You are taking offence where none is intended. It is simply concern for your child.

cloudchasing · 23/08/2017 20:33

Are you wilfully missing the point? It's not that people are accusing you of neglect, it's that whoever saw it WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN THE WINDOW WAS LOCKED.

They were helping, trying to do the right thing. You seem to have a massive chip on your shoulder Confused

Strangeswelling · 23/08/2017 20:33

My word, you're defensive and prickly.

My DD once climbed onto a windowsill with an open window. She is in no way neglected, it was one of those split second lapses. My neighbour screech her name from the garden, which is the only way DH knew to grab her before she fell, she could easily have died. I will be forever grateful that my neighbour didn't mind her own business.

These people had no way of knowing that the window was locked. Your paranoia is quite worrying.

NormaSmuff · 23/08/2017 20:34

No, not at all, this happened to me, only an older child, probably sent by his mum, knocked on my door to inform me my child was at the window, it is horribly scary for onlookers

SoosanCarter · 23/08/2017 20:35

It's you're actually.
The greater your vocabulary, and your use of the English language, the greater your ability to communicate, and the more successful you will be in life. Just saying.

Original poster
Letstryagainshallwe · 23/08/2017 20:37

I'm not gonna comment anymore since I'm apparently a neglected bad parent who is paranoid and worrying. Funny how this exact thread went a totally different way when someone wanted to knock about the exact thing.

OP posts:
Decaffstilltastesweird · 23/08/2017 20:37

Op, I think I remember your DS starting nursery thread and remember how concerned you were about having a home visit. I think on that thread, your big worry was that you would be judged. Is that what you are worried about here too?

If so, I would have thought they thought you didn't know your DS was on the windowsill and decided to be helpful and let you know. I don't expect he's the first child to do it, nor will he be the last.

LonginesPrime · 23/08/2017 20:39

The people whose garden backed onto ours phoned my mother when I was a toddler because I had just learnt how to open the window latch and was hanging out of my (first floor) bedroom window looking at the pretty pattern of the patio below - I'm glad they called and unsure how we survived childhood.

bigsighall · 23/08/2017 20:41

Read the replies properly and then be thankful there are people out there who give enuf of a shit to knock on your door.

grannytomine · 23/08/2017 20:45

I saw a little boy about 3 playing in a shop window, he was touching electrical stuff. I went in to let them know and got screamed at by a woman who I assume was his mother. I thought he could get hurt and wasn't expecting thanks but she was really abusive. I'd still do the same again.

The women were letting you know in case he was in danger and I think it is nice that people care.