To think it's weird, if not rude, to call people by their last names alone

[UmmKultum]

We have a new admin guy at work. It's a pretty diverse international place and I think he's from Central Asia somewhere. He's taken to sending emails addressing people by their last names alone. Apart from the fact that the organization tends to be pretty informal, surely you put mr/mrs etc in front of the name?!
So he says Dear Jones and not dear ms Jones. I answered him that he could call me my first name to which he replied he prefers to not move to a first name basis yet . I then replied (as a ps to a longer email) that I would therefore prefer he use ms or dr (I have phd but never usually use the title but, hey, if we're being formal). He's now replied pointing out that we have never met (although with no salutation at all!).
Aibu that this is a little bizarre? Isn't it a little rude to just call people by their last name? Makes me think of the army or prison!!

I teach six and seven year olds. They love it when I call them by their surnames. I've never thought of it as rude.

It's rude. Might be the way things are done wherever he's from, but one should adjust to the culture of the workplace. If I go to Germany and everybody calls their colleagues Sie and Herr/Frau Lastname I would not insist on using first names because that's more comfortable for me.

Hmm....I schooled outside the U.K, I was known as my surname throughout and so was everyone else. It's a cultural thing.

It's obviously a cultural thing. Someone needs to tell him that it's verging on rude to do it here. He may be glad to be told - and if not, he ought to be!

Most of us would respect cultural quirks when abroad - sometimes failure to do so can give great offence.

I'm sure it's not rude if you do it to make kids laugh but I bet if your gp did it you, you'd be put out!

And it's different if it's friends doing it as well. I have a friend I call a short form of her surname. Would never dream of doing that in a professional context!

Again, imagine you're at the bank and they call you by your last name alone. Weird? Yes!

OP you just to have to explain to him and/or get HR to explain to him that honorifics are expected with surnames, as you've suggested already, or that he learns to deal with first names eventually.

As for other PPs - surnames aren't just public school - look at sports teams where it's often surnames. Female as well as male. But that's affection and comradeship not working in an office.

Ah, yes, military, prison and sports! But even in sports, it'd still be Mr. Bolt when directly addressing him!

I think you're making too big a deal of it. He thinks it's more polite (it is in his culture).

DH calls me by my (own) surname all the time, usually prefixed with an "Oi". He's not doing it for cultural reasons either.

It's not a big enough deal to go to HR! That's what mumsnet is for I can only speak for myself and hope he figures it out!

I work with a number of mandarin speakers and Chinese and am always called my surname. It really doesn't bother me as it is British etiquette to call someone by their first name but mandarin to use their last name I believe. I wouldn't ask them to change the way they do things as much as they wouldn't ask me to call them by their second name. I'm sure it's not that big a deal really?

It's a big deal that I pointed out to him that I don't like it? I don't and I think most people would find it odd to be addressed in this way

My threshold for getting offended is a lot higher than that. I'd find OP's situation amusing.

It's not just British etiquette. Many many other cultures use a title.

Actually most Chinese people I knew professionally (I worked in a majority Chinese country) always always called me Ms. or Madam if they weren't on first name terms (or even Ms first name)

I'm not offended. Just don't like it and find it odd

Also kinda put me in the awkward position of not knowing what to call him

I work with many Japanese colleagues.
I refer to them as Surname-San. SAN being a polite salutation I believe. They refer to me as First Name-San. Therefore recognising that the difference. As far as I know you need to be invited to use their first name and that the invite would only be extended after a period of time and following a close working relationship being established.

Yes, I consider that rude. Also, if he's doing it to you, he may also be sending emails to external contacts in the same manner.

I can appreciate the formality. Just not the use of surname alone, that doesn't sound more formal, just blunt.

Anyway, poor guy has just written back telling me no disrespect was meant and telling me about his culture etc. so those of you who got that you were spot on! I didn't mean to freak him out!

Although he did say it wasn't a question of status but age Oh dear.

Oh Jeez.... wouldn't it be nice if people - including you, OP - actually RTFT....

So let me say again, to people from a certain culture (eg Japan) it's not rude, it's not stupid, it's not offensive, it's not anything other than the norm in that particular culture / country.

A little bit of understanding and accommodation wouldn't go amiss here.

Ah and all ok. Kitschy exchange about how we must celebrate diversity with lots of smileys and no salutations

Of age?!!

It's actually very offensive in the uk. Officially, criminals lose the right to a title so news reports refer to guilty people as "jones" etc with no mr/mrs etc. Before a guilty verdict they keep the title.

This is however a cultural difference rather than deliberately offensive. I'd let him know how I like to be addresses.

I'll let the age thing go I think...

OP, you would not be employed in my company. You would be considered discriminatory and prejudiced.