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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you don't call someone at 1:30am?

42 replies

tickingoffthetodolist · 22/08/2017 20:45

Unless it's an emergency?!

Had a fall out with a friend, she is very much in the wrong and knows it. She then decided to call me at 1:30 last night .., it woke me up and I had to be up at 5 this morning.

When I told her she just said - I wanted to sort things out. Aibu to think she may be the most thoughtless person ever?

OP posts:
QueenNefertitty · 22/08/2017 20:47

Had she been on the sauce?
That's the sort of thing that sounds like a good idea four gins in...

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 22/08/2017 20:47

Nope you're correct.

Salmotrutta · 22/08/2017 20:47

Hate late night/early morning/wee small hours calls!

I always think it must be bad news!

Mumof41987 · 22/08/2017 20:51

I bet she had been drinking . No sober person would ever ever do that

Laiste · 22/08/2017 20:52

Been a few threads over the years about late calls and the general consensus is that apx 10pm is the cut off time for non emergency calls. Earlier if there's a new baby in the house.

So YANBU OP

We tut a bit when MIL someone calls after 9.30ish here :)

TwatteryFlowers · 22/08/2017 20:57

Being generous, perhaps she was genuinely feeling bad about your falling-out and couldn't sleep on it? I wouldn't appreciate a call at that time either though and would be very short/snappy - I don't take kindly to being woken up!

Valuedopinion · 22/08/2017 20:58

Very thoughtless but in our house we gasp in horror if the landline rings after 6pm.

DancesWithOtters · 22/08/2017 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ttbb · 22/08/2017 20:59

That is the kind of thing I stop talking to people over. What kind of monster does that?!

Crispsheets · 22/08/2017 21:00

No no normal person does that. That is why my phone is turned off at 10 pm

PumpkinPie2016 · 22/08/2017 21:03

Definitely not on! I wouldn't dream of ringing someone at that time unless it was an absolute emergency e.g. serious illness, death in family etc.

JennyOnAPlate · 22/08/2017 21:05

I would assume someone was seriously ill/dead if my phone rang at that time. It would seriously panic me.

Ollivander84 · 22/08/2017 21:05

Not on. People ring me at odd hours because they know I will be up but that's different!

NataliaOsipova · 22/08/2017 21:07

10pm is the absolute limit, unless it's an emergency or prearranged....

highinthesky · 22/08/2017 21:12

She is indeed a silly billy.

Hassled · 22/08/2017 21:14

Yes, I'd assume some tragic accident with a 1.30am phone call too. I used to have an insomniac boss who thought it was fine to text me at 3am with her thoughts about work the next day - I don't think it crossed her mind I'd have my phone in the bedroom. But now I have Do Not Disturb switched on between 11pm and 7am (you can make certain callers exempt so I know if one of the adult DCs was in trouble their call would get through).

DezTheMoaner · 22/08/2017 21:16

Definitely unreasonable. This is why I switch off my mobile when I go to bed - if it's urgent they'll call the landline which will wake me up.

MiL once rang at 7 a.m. to check we'd got home from holiday, knowing that we'd been due to land at 2 a;m. I told OH that next time I'd phone her when we arrived home at 4 a.m. so she didn't worry. Stupid woman - didn't engage brain before reaching for phone - just like your "friend".

Cavender · 22/08/2017 21:18

I would not forgive someone who called at 1:30am with an apology.

I can only just about forgive my family when they call at 4am forgetting the six hour time difference.

ForalltheSaints · 22/08/2017 21:21

YANBU. I doubt if i would call if someone had died at that time of the morning.

Wdigin2this · 22/08/2017 21:22

Would really irritate me!

Oysterbabe · 22/08/2017 21:23

YANBU. I'd have assumed something terrible had happened and been in a blind panic.

StarlightExpress5 · 22/08/2017 21:25

I bet she'd had a drink.

Starlight2345 · 22/08/2017 21:31

why did she say she called?

AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/08/2017 21:31

How thick is she? FFS - you're hardly going to be accepting of an apology at that hour are you. Fuckmuppet.

Ginkypig · 22/08/2017 21:38

My general rule is after 11 if the phone rings I think oh fuck who's died.

For me it depends on the preset "ok's" of the relationship, I have a friend who although it very very rarely happens I would be ok with it, I love her and she wouldn't call unless she was struggling (even though the conversation would probably just be a I can't sleep how was your day and not a heavy call) and I could do the same to her. I have 2 other friends who wouldn't but if they did I wouldn't make a thing over it

For everyone else though after 10pm don't call unless there is a major emergency!