On holiday with the kids in the West Country, bear my mum. My mum is lovely and always wanting to do nice things/pay for trips etc and I'm always very grateful, and very appreciate of her support. As a bit of history, She moved up north when I was 18 and in college so I stayed put. I've looked after myself for a very long time. I'm a single parent to 3 kids and manage a business, my home, a dog etc etc. Basically, I'm a competent adult and have been for the past 30 years!
She moved down to where she is now with her current husband in a little cottage, about 16 years ago, and as its tiny, there is no room for us to stay. She very kindly pays towards the cost of a little holiday cottage so we can visit and spend time with her in school hols. Also because her husband doesn't 'do kids' - so we don't annoy him!
So it's quite an intense week. She means well and she loves us all dearly (as do we love her) but I'm finding myself getting more and more snappy because she second guesses, overrides, butts in, talks over and generally questions every single decision I make either for myself or about my children. She belittles and scoffs at my choices and will ALWAYS, without fail, try to impose her decision upon me. She is like this with others so it's not my imagination.
I snapped at her a few times today because she was criticising my sat-nav-guided route home from a trip out because 'she wasn't familiar with where we were and it made her anxious. I was driving in unfamiliar territory and her constant verbal worrying was stressful and I had to, as kindly as I could ask her to keep calm because it was making my job as driver much harder.
I understand her anxiety and I really try to be sympathetic but it's exhausting having to stick up for decisions I've made that are sound, and keep to my boundaries (I didn't talk to her for nearly a year several years ago, because of similar issues).
Examples are:
I took the cottage key with me. She wanted me to leave it in the outdoor safe, like she'd done with hers. I said I would prefer to take my keys. She repeated herself 4-5 times before I snapped and told her she needed to accept my decision .
I wanted to take the kids on a country walk with the dog and a nice pub lunch. She was insistent that we only needed to go to cuz place and take sandwiches. I'm on holiday and I fancied a pub lunch (I was paying) - again 4-5 times of trying to grind me down.
Texting me 3-4 times before we came down to tell me what time I should leave to avoid traffic.
These are just off the top of my head but it's been constant and I'm exhausted. Am I being awful? I don't want to hurt her feelings but I'm not a child and I'm fed up feeling like every decision I make is in question. I happily go along with her plans for a quiet life when I see her (she Ioved a couple of hours away so not on my doorstep) - so if I AM being unreasonable, please please can I have some tips and advice as to how to cope with grace and deal with my frustration more effectively.
I feel really crap and mean about being short tempered with her and just want some ways of handling things better.
Sorry for long post. Didn't want to drip feed.