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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's vulgar not to close your blinds at night?

60 replies

Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 22:35

So I'm not stared at every time I leave my house and don't see moobs when I let the cat in.

The front of all the houses on my drive completely overlook each other and the bedroom and living room windows are the same width of the room and 3/4 the height. You can see everything in the houses opposite. The backs aren't overlooked so people tend to angle the front blinds so you can't see in and open the back.

NDN have always kept their blinds downstairs fully open doesn't help with constantly yappy dog but that's a different story and it annoys me with them sat in the window all day and night looking out but I can live with it.

Newish family opposite keep living room and bedroom blinds pulled back, lights on till about 2am. I mean each to their own but would you really want to be on display to the whole street?

Just gone to let DCat in and bloke opposite is on full show in the bedroom, blinds pulled right back, moobs out scratching his arse. It's not the first time. Now he's unfortunately got my attention, I've angled my blinds to see out and he's walked in and out 3 times turning the light on and off going nowhere near the blinds to close them.

I was worried when I first moved in if people could see me in the bathroom through the blinds.

AIBU to think it's polite to close the blinds and not have your life and scratching your arse on full view or is it each to their own?

OP posts:
Original poster
Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 23:11

Hedda I feel like one now!

Trust me it was a proper show with nowhere else to look. Why should I get grief for opening and having a look out of my own front door and window three times in the night when there's someone doing a display for the whole street?

Im thinking some home alone treats for my windows.

OP posts:
PollyFlint · 21/08/2017 23:16

You know what's more vulgar? Gawping into people's houses. You're not just taking a glance, are you? Stop being so bloody nosy! You're going way beyond a glimpse if you've had time to decide your neighbour's physique isn't to your liking.

People can leave their blinds open as long as they want. There's nothing 'vulgar' or 'showy' about it. If you want to stare through their windows and make weird judgements about their bodies, that's your problem, not theirs. Personally, I tend to close the curtains when it gets dark, but that's just my personal preference. Some people feel a bit hemmed in or claustrophobic with the blinds closed, don't they? I can't see why that's a problem.

Come on all admit it - when you see an open window when you're walking past you can't help but look in!

Er, nope. I couldn't give a gnat's chuff what's inside my neighbour's houses and I'd consider it really rude to look into their windows as I was passing.

Notso · 21/08/2017 23:17

Why do you and all your neighbours have blinds? Do you live on one of those weird estates where you other residents call a meeting if someone paints their door too jauntily coloured?

Original poster
Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 23:19

I've got long vertical blinds downstairs and I angle them to give some light but aren't open fully

My front bedroom blinds are angled also, I tend to open and close them when I leave then before I get dressed for bed.

OP posts:
GreatFuckability · 21/08/2017 23:21

i couldn't give the smallest fuck tbh.

Original poster
Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 23:26

I think it's because it's a 30s semi and the windows are big (12 ft by 6ft) so you are aware that everything you have and do can be seen from the outside.

We're very close at the front, two cars widths only, were not overlooked from the back which is why most of us walk semi naked and scratch our arses in front of the back windows

OP posts:
TattyCat · 21/08/2017 23:28

YABU for having vertical blinds. They are office wear only.

But I have to confess, if I'm walking past a house/houses and they have lights on and curtains open, I'll have a look; a sneaky look, but a look nevertheless. This, on the basis that they clearly don't mind because they've put themselves on stage. Grin

I was brought up with the view that's it's rude to look in and I didn't, for years and years. Now, I don't care.

nursy1 · 21/08/2017 23:35

I always leave the curtains open. Like to see the moon and the dawn if I'm awake. Mind you we are in the middle if the countryside. Only the sheep for neighbors

Original poster
Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 23:37

Tatty I completely agree with you about vertical blinds but I wanted black out blinds so no one could look in or see me through my blinds - cos I was overlooked! It's just one huge window so I couldn't get anything else.

I was brought up with that view as well but if you don't want people to look at what you're doing shut your blinds! Open downstairs blinds are an invitation surely?

OP posts:
SeaLionsOnMyShirt · 21/08/2017 23:37

Vulgar?? Don't make me laugh. My DM thinks it's vulgar to have curtains, as if you need them then it means that you have neighbours within seeing distance mutters about being a teenager being woken up at 4am in the summer as we had no curtains whatsover

Original poster
Ontheboardwalk · 21/08/2017 23:43

No curtains oh my days! I've got blackout vertical blinds and curtains in my bedrooms.

Maybe that's why I don't understand the required moonglow for bloke opposite

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 21/08/2017 23:43

In the house opposite us the 18year old daughter has the front bedroom and she apparently can't pull curtains . Very often when I'm pulling the curtains on our landing or in my sons room you get an eyeful of either her stripping off , or her and her boyfriend stripping off . I am not standing and staring but I really cannot avoid seeing everything unless I walk around with my eyes closed .

W0nder · 21/08/2017 23:44

Yabu. Having blinds open is no different than being out in public in general. It's what you're doing in public that determines whether it's vulgar or not.

TattyCat · 21/08/2017 23:55

My DM thinks it's vulgar to have curtains, as if you need them then it means that you have neighbours within seeing distance

Still need 'em, even in the deepest darkest wilderness! I have thick interlined curtains that are permanently pulled back during summer, but in winter, they are pulled as soon as it's dark to keep the warm in. We're in the middle of nowhere, so it's not really for privacy. That said, I'm on my own during the week, so the blinds are down once it's dark, even though I'm not overlooked. I've been 'surprised' by people knocking at the door late at night (dark) and I'd never seen them approach, although they could clearly see me. I've had the blinds for summer ever since!

When his Lordship is home, we are open to the world. I feel safer and we're not overlooked, so no need to close off. Silly really - the dog would probably kill an intruder, but I don't want to find out...Grin

LogicalPsycho · 22/08/2017 00:07

Oh OP, I hope I live across the road from you.
Tomorrow shall be Titty Tuesday Wink

Original poster
Ontheboardwalk · 22/08/2017 00:14

Logical Titty Tuesday made me laugh.

Hope you're just randomly showing your bits in your bedroom window and aren't being vulgar about it!

OP posts:
AnnieAnoniMouse · 22/08/2017 00:25

Vulgar?

😂😂😂😂😂

Don't like it - don't look. It's pretty simple.

We don't have anything at any of the windows. We haven't since we moved in. We are slowly renovating & don't see the point in putting things up that will get ruined by the plaster dust etc. I don't shut my bedroom curtains when I have them anyway, I prefer natural light.

You're really not one to talk about seeing unplesant things...I'd sooner the neighbours moobs than have vertical blinds at my windows.

Original poster
Ontheboardwalk · 22/08/2017 00:35

Semi naked bloke scratching his arse in front of his bedroom window when you, your family or your friends open your door. Let that be your image every time you open your doors. I'm happy with my blinds

OP posts:
viques · 22/08/2017 00:39

Titty Tuesday? I am now a bit worried about what will be happening on Wednesday, and even more worried about Friday. ................

Carolinesbeanies · 22/08/2017 00:42

We leave them open until we go to bed. Only then does everything get closed up. Have always taken the view that if someone is sad enough to spend their time trying to see what we're doing, theyre going to be sadly disappointed.

Did live opposite a bloke once (terraced street) who believed his bathroom, opaque glass was private at night ... couldnt see details, but his loo was in front of the bathroom window, so there he'd stand, silhouetted for the world to see. I never mentioned it Shock

toastandbutterandjam · 22/08/2017 00:44

Titty Tuesday Grin Grin Grin Grin

IloveBanff · 22/08/2017 00:52

"Now he's unfortunately got my attention, I've angled my blinds to see out and he's walked in and out 3 times turning the light on and off going nowhere near the blinds to close them."

You're a nosy neighbour. If you didn't like what you saw by chance, why did you continue to watch him afterwards? Are you "vulgar"?

krustykittens · 22/08/2017 00:59

I find it odd so many people feel safer with curtains and blinds open. Personally, I love to close my curtains as soon as it gets dark. I HATE not being able to shut the dark out and open curtains would actually make me feel more vulnerable, not less, but I seem to be in a minority. We love in the middle of nowhere so don't have issues with privacy. I don't find it vulgar if people put themselves on display in lit rooms, though. It's up to them, surely?

Original poster
Ontheboardwalk · 22/08/2017 01:00

I so wish I was brave enough to wear a sign, semi naked, on my drive tomorrow saying Titty Tuesday and pointing it at my NDN and bloke walking semi naked in an open window scratching his arse.

I'm just one of 10 houses that could have seen his arse scratching performance at an open bedroom window

OP posts:
ForagingForFaerieGold · 22/08/2017 01:03

It's not vulgar to leave the blinds open as such but when you are parading about close to the window in the nip, where you surely MUST know you can be seen, that smacks of exhibitionism. And that is a bit vulgar. But there isn't much you can do about it I guess. Just close your blinds so you can't see.
Vertical blinds are hideous. As a pp has said, they are for offices.