to not want to go to what might be the worst wedding of the year....

[nuttygirl]

Wedding is in July in Guernsey. DH & I will have a baby then (approx 3 months old).

Basically invitation arrived today and have spent all afternoon & evening trying to find somewhere to stay that doesn't cost a fortune...but it's all booked up cos it's high season ( am thinking invites should have gone out sooner).

In addition, we've been told not to wear hats or high heels and men shouldn't wear a good suit to the "refreshingly different" reception and they won't let on what the reception is actually going to be.

DH rang bride to be to find out more info and was told there's NO DANCING at the reception...but it might involve games and if he wants to wear a suit he can but it's not their fault if it gets messy . Knowing the couple, it is possible they're gonna play kids party games...

In addition bride-to-be is ex-housemate of DH and doesn't really like me cos she used to fancy DH.

This is why I always bring cigarettes to events like this, so I have an excuse to go outside when people try to go all freak like that.

fff2 - teletubbies & tweenies...REALLY...PMSL @ that. OMG...you don't think that's what this couple are doing, do you. They did say they'll let people know nearer the time what to bring to the reception.....

'refreshingly different' = naffotastic

and probably really dull

my ex went to a wedding last december where they were all told not to wear suits, it was to be 'alternative'. in the end the only ones not in suits were the groom and his friends, work colleagues and family wore them anyway. the groom wore a t-shirt with one of those lcd displays scrolling 'i am the groom' and the bride wore a beautiful red velvet dress

with dm's

You know, there was a lovely campsite on Sark that we stayed at 25 years ago....you could stay there and get a boat to the wedding for the day...if baby is bfed it wouldnt be so hard would it?

ha ha naffotastic

Malaleche...I might give that a go. Thanks.

Well if you've decided you might go, go in style. Go as tarts and vicars (you the vicar, your DH the tart). Or you could both dress as Teletubbies.

Message withdrawn

Sounds 'orrible. New baby too? Well, I wouldn't go. All a bit stressful really.

I know ive said this before, but go and take a video camera with you. It sounds like at least one incident will happen that you can film and send to youve been framed!

The reception will be dinghy racing or paintballing.

These sorts deserve each other.

Tragically, you are unable to attend due to having already booked a holiday elsewhere at that time (that you will be unable to go on at the last minute for a reason you can think up nearer the time.)

Send them a mop and bucket as a present.

God how AWFUL... on so many levels

Don't go under any circumstances but send a TV crew along instead then we can all see it on Wedding Stories on BBC3

lol at "stay home and pick yer feet"

Can you say that you'll NOT tell anyone, but you really need to know whether the reception will be suitable for a 3mo baby before you book somewhere expensive to stay? Just say you have visions of jelly and custard being thrown round the room and you're a bit worried.

Sneaky as all heck, I am

Oi! I wore DMs at my wedding thank you very much and I have to admit that we did put 'please dress comfortably' on the invites. We also explained in person to everybody that this wasn't through a need to be different or alternative- we were getting married in a Victorian barn in the middle of a field of cows and having a ceilidh. We stressed that it was a party and we just wanted everyone to be comfortable.

This cartoonish debacle you've been invited to sounds like a whole other kettle of slightly rancid fish. Oh to be a fly on the wall. I've been invited to a wedding in July that's the other end of the scale- invite says 'hats and heels obligatory' and there are all sorts of tea on the lawn and light lunches in the garden room type happenings. I'm leaving the hats and heels bit to DH. I'll have an 8 week old baby, will drape myself in whatever best covers the post baby bulge whilst simultaneously allowing access for breastfeeding and they can thank me just for my presence/presents when I shall no doubt be extremely sleep deprived/leaking/hormonal.

Herm is also lovely...

Sounds awful.

You have the perfect excuse though - a new baby.

No-one ever argues with that as an excuse...it's so handy. Use it while you can

sounds like something to definately be avoided although I am very curious to know what they are goign to do

showofhands remember that stage so well

But if they're wrapped up in Bride'n'Groomzilla-land, they won't have the faintest idea why you wouldn't want to traipse across the country with a newborn to a destiny-unknown nightmare, spending money like it's going out of fashion.

You'll just have to decline politely, send a nice prezzie and then when this horror is a dim memory for everyone and the happy couple have just had their PFB and they're up to their eyes in maternity pads, shit, stitches, milk and they don't know what day it is you can just nod sagely and go