AIBU to be silently seething at Train Mum?

[LongTermPerm]

I had just got onto a train this afternoon when my colleague called me. Not ideal to talk on the phone when on the train, I know, but this wasn't someone calling for a lengthy chat. It was going to be a 30 second call, so I answered it.

I got up and walked to the end of the carriage so I didn't disturb people as much. The train hadn't left yet, so there was no background noise and no need to shout/ talk above normal volume.

While I was talking (and yes, it really was 20-30 seconds max), Train Mum gets my attention. She says 'excuse me, my baby is sleeping' and gestures at her pram which is near the vestibule where I'm standing.

Fair enough, a bit annoying and precious given I was only talking at normal volume but fine, I walked further into the vestibule away from the pram.

Half an hour later, baby wakes up (he's actually more like 18 months ish). She has proceeded to engage in the loudest performance parenting I've ever witnessed. No attempt whatsoever to modify her volume so as not to disturb other passengers, and she's actively hyping up an already over-excited toddler.

There is a display of seven million plastic animals in the aisle, and the whole carriage is being treated to Train Mum's diatribe about where the animals live and impressions of the noise they make.

I promise you I know the difference between talking to/ engaging with a child at normal volume, and treating an entire train carriage to your nonsense. It's going on and on. Child is shouting, copying mum's animal noises, and shes's encouraging it, replying even louder with moooo and baaaa.

To make matters worse, Train Mum has just struck up conversation with Train Mum II siting opposite her, and they are now shrieking with laughter at goodness knows what.

AIBU to be quietly plotting her demise? Being British, I obviously haven't said anything. But if she's allowed to request no talking at normal volume when the little prince is sleeping, shouldn't she now be showing the same courtesy to other people? Or is she one of those people where she and her child are the only people in the whole world that matter?

Ask her to talk a little louder as not everyone in the carriage can hear

I would be seething too. I can't stand people like that and I've got a 7 month old. I'd never ask someone to be quiet and I'd never be obnoxiously loud in a public place.

Train Mum's diatribe about where the animals live

Erm? I can't even imagine.

GodIsDead I'd never do either of those things either. But it's the shamelessly doing both within half an hour of each other that's winding me up so much!

UpperLimit like this:

'The tiger is from AFRICAAAAA!! GRRRRRR! This elephant is either from Africa or ASIAAAAAA but you know what?! Wherever he's from he still trumpets like this HAROOOOO'

That's an example of the diatribe.

A diatribe would be like:

Those fucking elephants, roaming all over the place, fucking shit up. Best they get to a fucking zoo.

"Performance Parenting" at its best. I wonder if she wants a round of applause or marks out of 10?

Make a fake LOUD phone call. Mention that you can't hear them properly because there is some weirdo making animal noises and performance parenting.

Go and take a sneak peek at the elephant. If the ears of the elephant are big enough to cover its neck, it's an African elephant, if they're smaller, it's an Asian one then pipe up with a 'Goodness me, this is an African/Asian elephant, so easy to tell the difference. Gosh Mummy needs to study up a bit!'

Please give her a standing ovation when she's finished lol.

What a twat!!!

The tiger is from Africa? Not only is she loud and annoying, she is completely wrong!

Oh one of them is she. The world has to stop while her poppet is sleeping

I personally would have shot her down immediately. Not sure why you didn't. I hate inept seething.

Point to your laptop. Whisper, 'Excuse me, this is sleeping? Can you keep it down a bit? Thanks.'

tumblebee

Shout out loudly " the tiger's from sodding Asia, not Africa"

I think you just have to ignore her whilst seething quietly and shooting her in your head. That is the British way.

You've all made me laugh, which is miles better than the inept seething I was doing previously.

Nuttynoo I don't disagree with you! IABU for ineptly seething, it's just been going on for too long to say anything now! Wish I'd had the confidence to say something earlier.

I must say though, the new conversation with Train Mum II is a real privilege to be part of. Presumably she intended the entire carriage to join in with questions about her new apartment in a very famously expensive part of London? Particularly while the child runs down the aisle of the train crashing everyone's arm rests down.

A second vote here for a fake phone call in which you have to bellow "BECAUSE THERE'S AN INCREDIBLY LOUD PERFORMING PARENT IN THIS CARRIAGE"

Start having a loud (fake) telephone conversation about your sex life. Or pretend to be a big game hunter firming up the details of your next shoot

No. That is so annoying. I always do my best to keep myself and my children as quite as possible in public.

I feel your pain.

One flight, one train, two very very loud Performance Parenting displays. Both as thick as two bricks & rude to boot.

None of the kids involved were an ounce of bother, but the mothers, god help me, were lucky to get out alive.

Is the Tigeeeeerrrrrr from Africaaaaaa because it's a zooooooo Tigeeeeeerrrr?

The Performance Mummy is a silly moooooooo.

Tell her there is in fact an elephant in a passing field if she cares to look - then shove her out the window. .