AIBU to be silently seething at Train Mum?

[LongTermPerm]

I had just got onto a train this afternoon when my colleague called me. Not ideal to talk on the phone when on the train, I know, but this wasn't someone calling for a lengthy chat. It was going to be a 30 second call, so I answered it.

I got up and walked to the end of the carriage so I didn't disturb people as much. The train hadn't left yet, so there was no background noise and no need to shout/ talk above normal volume.

While I was talking (and yes, it really was 20-30 seconds max), Train Mum gets my attention. She says 'excuse me, my baby is sleeping' and gestures at her pram which is near the vestibule where I'm standing.

Fair enough, a bit annoying and precious given I was only talking at normal volume but fine, I walked further into the vestibule away from the pram.

Half an hour later, baby wakes up (he's actually more like 18 months ish). She has proceeded to engage in the loudest performance parenting I've ever witnessed. No attempt whatsoever to modify her volume so as not to disturb other passengers, and she's actively hyping up an already over-excited toddler.

There is a display of seven million plastic animals in the aisle, and the whole carriage is being treated to Train Mum's diatribe about where the animals live and impressions of the noise they make.

I promise you I know the difference between talking to/ engaging with a child at normal volume, and treating an entire train carriage to your nonsense. It's going on and on. Child is shouting, copying mum's animal noises, and shes's encouraging it, replying even louder with moooo and baaaa.

To make matters worse, Train Mum has just struck up conversation with Train Mum II siting opposite her, and they are now shrieking with laughter at goodness knows what.

AIBU to be quietly plotting her demise? Being British, I obviously haven't said anything. But if she's allowed to request no talking at normal volume when the little prince is sleeping, shouldn't she now be showing the same courtesy to other people? Or is she one of those people where she and her child are the only people in the whole world that matter?

I like the fake phone call idea apologising for the 'performance mummy'.

Think of it from her point of view - maybe her baby takes ages to settle and had just fallen asleep and the someone goes and stands near their sleeping baby and has a phone conversation. Yeah it's a bit awkward that she asked you to be quiet but equally if the baby woke up cranky and screamed the whole journey people would probably be judging her for that as well.
As for the 'performance parenting,' maybe she's trying to keep them entertained for the same reason. If mums don't engage with their kids they get judged for that too. Feels like they can't win.

I hope there's a spare seat for all the animals!

Silly cow. Everyone knows that tigers aren't from Africaaaaaa.

Make a loud phonecall to the Tigers Board thus:

'Hello? TIGERS BOARD? I'm on a train! long pause where older people will fear you'll say IT'S SHIT! People here think tigers are from Africa! Can you imagine?! Chuh! Work harder!'

This will get everyone wondering where tigers are actually from and will make you feel better.

I was on a train the other week and the mum was loudly performing/reading out a story from a book for the whole journey of well over an hour. I didn't really mind as it's better for the kids than being stuck on a tablet but it was blooming distracting. I didn't get my power nap and I bloody needed one after the day I'd had.

I always do my best to keep myself and my children as quite as possible in public.

Please don't do this....it's completely unnecessary and makes me feel sad. Almost like you're apologising for you and your DC existence.

formerbabe
No, please do keep quiet when on public transport. It's an important lesson for children to learn that there are times when it's not appropriate to talk loudly/ run around etc.
Imagine if EVERYONE on the train decided that they would run around and shout at top volume. It would be fucking pandemonium and I wouldn't be able to read my book.

I'm not saying let children run round screaming, but one poster said they try to keep themselves and their DC as quiet as possible. My point was that children and their parents are entitled as everyone is to conduct their conversations at a normal volume. If I'm out with my children I speak to them as I would speak to anyone...I don't make sure we are as quiet as humanly possible...why should anyone?

This woman managed to have a VERY LOUD 2 hour phone call with their friend for my entire train journey earlier. No amount of loud sighing and frowning would abate the noise!! I knew about her whole wedding by the end of it. GAH, it was so annoying. How can someone talk for that long?

Your woman sounds like a moron.

YANBU

I hope there's a spare seat for all the animals!

... especially the giraffe.

Ha ha kaitlin, that's what I was referring

I would never dream of asking someone else to be quiet on a train/public transport just because my LO is sleeping!

Performance parenting

Yes I've witnessed this a fair few times on public transport, didn't realise it had a name but now I know

Shhh you'll alert the Performance Parenting deniers!

"Please don't speak in the vicinity my baby" - what a dick.