To be fucked off? WWYD?

[JanuaryOwl]

My DP's brother's gf (who I'll refer to as SIL as it's easier) and I have not got on in the past. We've never argued it had a falling out but she's said things that have annoyed me and I've called her out on it which she hasn't liked.

Recently I extended an olive branch as DP has asked his brother to be his best man at our wedding. But now SIL has said something and it's ducked me right off!

We have a 1yo DD and when she stayed at DP's DF's house a few weeks ago, BIL and SIL went there to see her. Whilst there, FIL asked everyone to lower their recliners as DD kept banging her head on the corners. SIL didn't lift her head from her phone the entire time, despite DDd banging her head on SIL's recliner. When FIL asked SIL to stop ignoring DD and to put her recliner down. SIL did so with an attitude and FIL asked her what her problem was?

SIL responded that basically, she couldn't stand looking at DD as she looks so much like me and she doesn't care about any of us anyway (DP, DD and myself).

AIBU to be fuming about this? Hate me as much as you want but you don't take it out on an innocent baby! This has only just got back to me and I don't know how to react. I'm supposed to be going out with SIL next weekend for DP's DS's birthday!

I'd definitely be asking if she actually wanted to cone to the wedding given her attitude. If you wanted to avoid her then I'd ring or get your dh to ring her and his brother and say about it since it seems like she has an issue with you all then either she should say or he would be aware.

Op you obviously both dont like each other how much time are you expected to spend time with her? Is its a couple of times a year at family partys or every week at yout inlaws for dinner? If you hardly ever have to see her i would just think shes young, immature , doesnt like me for whatever reason and be polite but cool the few times i saw her. If you need to see her all the time i think i would have to say something but be prepared it may cause family fall out so maybe speak to fil/ bil and find out how they feel as i imagine it will come back on them for telling you. They both dealt with it at the time which is good and seems like you can trust them.

I don't go with icy polite too fwiw.

Another one of DP's brothers told her she was out of order and what the hell she's playing at? FIL told her to grow the fuck up and she left pretty much straight away after that

They dealt with it very well. She knows she was in the wrong as she left immediately.
I personally wouldn't want her anywhere near my child but that would be very difficult to implement. So I would tell FIL and your BILs that she is not to ever be left alone with your DD.
She sounds a nasty piece of work.

I keep saying "lower your recliners" in the voice of the guy who was on gladiators

misses point entirely

Don't invite her to the wedding (I assume it'd be no skin off your nose if she didn't invite you to her & bil's if they marry). Or if you do then don't include her as part of the wedding party/family photos.

What a horrible attitude towards a child. I'd politely say you know what's been said. Give her the option of bowing out graciously from your wedding. Sort of a reverse psychology IYKWIM.

Good lord, what a foul woman /ickle stupid overgrown teenager.

You are doing well not to clock her round the face tbh! What does your partner think? And her partner?

There is always going to be one knobend in any family. Just shun her completely and enjoy the company of the rest of them. She isn't worth it.

I meant "i'd go with icy polite"^^ sorry. Bloody autocorrect.

Fwiw I've never really got on well with my sil and I am not a fan of her DH. But we've always been kind to each other's babies / children. Such a strange way for her to behave. Is she maybe having fertility problems (not that it's an excuse)? Just wondering what on earth would make her say it.