to remind you that stuff you post on here isn't private?

[caffeinestream]

No matter how many warnings get posted, people still don't seem to realise that what they write on Mumsnet isn't private.

The recent thread where a lady wasn't happy with her engagement ring has been picked up by various media platforms and I've seen it linked on several viral sites through Facebook. I won't link to it again as it's not fair on the OP but it's out there for anyone to see.

Please remember that what you write on here is not private! Journos pick up stories from here all the time (and it's not just the Fail - the BBC and plenty of international sites do it too) so even if your partner has no idea Mumsnet exists, there's always a risk of it being seen on another site and they could easily recognise themselves.

Please be careful when you post stuff on here - change any identifying details and if it's really outing, either reconsider writing it or at least NC so it's not linked to your other posts.

I don't think any poster thinks it is private

Clearly they do - because people still act surprised when their posts end up on Facebook or in various newspapers!

I just assumed that the ring lady was just a lazy journalist.

Nothing's private on line.

Think 99% of posters know this.

Mind you no one I know reads those crappy rags so I don't really care
I

I assumed that too Boodles

Why isn't it private, though. It should be. MN definitely should make it private so we can say what we like with comfort and ease. (:

I don't think the OP of the ring thread was genuine will be bothered

I think it's good to remind people occasionally. Those of us who habe been here for ever a while have seen stuff picked up by the media and have heard from posters whose abusive husbands have seen their posts, but new posters can get lulled into thinking mn is safe.
Never hurts to point out that it can be very very public here, so take care.

I just assumed that the ring lady was just a lazy journalist.

Yeah, possibly.

It was just an example though. There was recently a thread shared to the MN Facebook page and the OP wasn't happy at the comments it got.

I think it was pulled in the end but it's just a reminder that MN isn't as anonymous as some people seem to think it is. People use it as an anonymous venting space and I have to say I do see some posts on here and think how identifiable they are to the people involved.

If anyone genuinely thinks Mumsnet is private, there's a strong argument for making people sit some sort of common sense test before they're allowed internet access.

Because everyone would have to pay for it Grooves

It's also a tad worrying that you think you can say what you like anywhere on the internet 'with comfort and ease'.

Nothing is truly private if it involves members of the public joining up.

Grooves what are you on about? Of course it's a public forum you must know that.

Does anyone know if Mumsnet can ensure that content isn't published elsewhere? Or is it a case of anything put online is fair game?

Even if it was private - paid for private - do you seriously think it would stay that way? Why wouldn't the lazy journos just pay up and join and still lift their material? It would be money well spent for them.
Currently it's free but so what if they had to pay.
The naivete is shocking.

I think a lot of posters have no clue about how open Mumsnet (or any other internet community) is. Posters who have been here for a while have probably seen how this pans out, but newer ones less so.

But I think it's also very easy for people to over-share, once they get involved in a thread, and it can be very easy to forget just how public things are. Even OTBT isn't really private.

Exactly JeReviens

And also, it's not even lazy journalism, it's just modern journalism.

People need to get used to it and take responsibility for themselves.

No, I knew it was public, I just think people should have the option of whether it be public or not.

You do have the option - if you don't want it to be public, don't post on here, or at least change enough details so it can't come back on you if it leaks to the media.

MN is completely public. Anything you post on here is fair game yet every week someone gets upset because their post has made it to the papers or Facebook or been read by someone IRL.

Facebook is free yet you get to choose who sees what! (Don't have Facebook but I do know it has privacy settings)

Grooves not if you post in Facebook groups, you don't get to choose who sees what.

Yes but Facebook is not a forum - it's a website with private profiles. It's comparing apples and oranges.

Ahh, ok. Thank you, I didn't know about that.

Even on fb someone can screenshot what you've put, including your name and share it if they've got access in the first place.

Even if you're not a friend you can search for someone's posts on fb and anything they've put on other people's walls or fb pages will come up unless it's a closed group.

OP I think you are right to remind people.

I once made an AIBU relating to an ungrateful family member. Imagine something like the reverse of the engagement ring thread, but more trivial. It was a genuine AIBU as I couldn't decide whether I was being unreasonable or if the family member really was being ungrateful. It seemed fairly trivial and I didn't think it would interest the wider world beyond MN. Suddenly a few days later I got a PM with a link from a kind MNer warning me that my thread had been featured in a tabloid. The article had hundreds of comments slagging off the family member in question. I then realised that although there were no personal details, the facts mentioned were specific enough to make it identifying if said family member read it!

Luckily I don't think anyone in the family ever came across the article or it could have led to a family dispute that would have potentially ruined family relations.

I asked MNHQ to help me by pulling the thread and changing my username retrospectively.

I knew MN was public. I do not consider myself to be a naive person. But it didn't even occur to me that a tabloid would pick up a stupid thread about a minor family issue.

Anyway, it's good to remind people.

@caffienestream it's not just Facebook and newspapers either, came across a podcast last week in which two female hosts take the piss out of threads and posters, mentioning usernames and everything.

It's relatively new as there's only two episodes, they do say it's meant in an lighthearted way, and it is mostly quoting funny posts, but theres a few where they don't seem to read past the first few posts or so as if they had, they'd have seen one woman they were laughing at had discovered her husband was having an affair and that several of the other busy threads they've discussed and teased the OP haven't been of a lighthearted theme after a few posts and OP has needed support. It's a bit off to laugh at them, especially when they know the person they are mocking can't respond.

They tease mumsnetters but you can tell they clearly use this place a lot, they know all the various sections, acronyms etc and one even talks about how she looked at other parts of MN for threads because posters are wary of appearing in the daily mail so post on other parts of the site to go under radar. It's a bit off to respond to threads and posters in a place where the OP has no idea and can't respond.

I wasn't sure if to post a thread about the podcast, ATM it only has about 50 listeners and I was worried linking it might upset the posters they've lightheartedly teased from the more serious threads when they are already having a hard time, but at the same If the hosts knew the people they were teasing could hear them laughing at them, hosts might make sure it's a funny lighthearted thread.