to remind you that stuff you post on here isn't private?

[caffeinestream]

No matter how many warnings get posted, people still don't seem to realise that what they write on Mumsnet isn't private.

The recent thread where a lady wasn't happy with her engagement ring has been picked up by various media platforms and I've seen it linked on several viral sites through Facebook. I won't link to it again as it's not fair on the OP but it's out there for anyone to see.

Please remember that what you write on here is not private! Journos pick up stories from here all the time (and it's not just the Fail - the BBC and plenty of international sites do it too) so even if your partner has no idea Mumsnet exists, there's always a risk of it being seen on another site and they could easily recognise themselves.

Please be careful when you post stuff on here - change any identifying details and if it's really outing, either reconsider writing it or at least NC so it's not linked to your other posts.

I think everyone knows MN isn't 'private,' but what is wrong and unfair, is how journos pick it up and stick it in the Daily Fail, or on digital spy or fakebook or twatter.

If someone posts on here, it should not be allowed to be posted anywhere else. Sadly that doesn't happen. In this day and age of social media and tinterwebs, people poach stuff all the time and post it elsewhere. You have to be verrrrrrry careful!

Every couple of weeks someone starts a thread complaining the DM has published an article about a thread. Some people do think this stupidly popular forum is a private support group. Even if it doesn't get picked up by a journo mumsnet talk is always high on google searches.

If it's identifiable and you don't want people who know you to read it then don't post it.

TBH I don't believe the thread with the engagement ring and I take some of the others with a pinch of salt ....I think it's entertainment for the masses

In FB groups you can still control who sees stuff because you can block individuals from seeing anything that you post.

That said, I tell my children to assume that the internet is a private as a billboard in the middle of town and not to post anything that they wouldn't be happy to see on there.

Ring lady wasn't genuine
Everyone knows it's not private but thanks for the condescending and patronising advice

Even if your FB is private, there's nothing you can do to stop people
screen-shotting your posts and sharing them on public pages or anywhere else.

I think as MN is seen as a space where you can get advice on personal issues it IS easy to forget its public and that anything you write on here can be splashed in the news if journalists choose to use it that way.

Unfortunately barely a week goes by when a thread hasn't been shared and someone is upset as a result.

People don't, though, as is evidenced by all the threads where people are upset that their post is in the Fail. But so long as you got to put a snarky comment

MN is odd. People troll hunt but also believe everything is gospel trusts.

I started a drunken Friday night thread a while ago which involved quite a lot of shuffling of dates/times/occupations and ages so no one could ID themselves. The thread went slightly berserk then massively off track and went from a hilarious rollercoaster ride to sour and judgemental at which point I stepped away from thread and didn't re engage other than to reassert that the person mentioned was not identifiable. Then some puritanical twat called the police and I had to deal with MN giving them my personal details. The police agreed that it was absurd and I wasn't accused of anything - but as a 'hate crime' had been reported it had to be investigated.

So what was a silly and extremely funny thread about someone's odd choice of interview attire resulted in 2-3 hrs (according to the officer I spoke to) if wasted police time. I deleted my mn history and my account I was so pissed off but missed y'all in those long lonely eves when DC are in bed.......

Madness. Absolute madness.

I agree with you OP... although the majority of people are savvy, .some people do seem to think that forums like this are private / hidden from non-members.

I also see this often on FB groups.. in particular, mums ones / local ones. I'm a member of some with at least >2000 members, and the personal stuff that people post, under their own name and profile, is absolutely astonishing. They often refer to it as a 'safe space'... 😱😱😱😱 when it's nothing but.

Did realise it wasn't genuine ... the post was discussed on Loose Women a couple of days ago and said it had come from Mumsnet

Id love to have a rant about what is niggling me but I darent!

The Internet is a giant unstoppable copying machine
Perhaps the OP means anonymity rather than privacy?

I think it's private, on my phone, in my bedroom.

But I was in the Metro once

I won't link to it again as it's not fair on the OP but it's out there for anyone to see.

The OP was actually deleted my MNHQ. No one knows why

I've been quoted to - on a housework thread in the Mirror under a previous username! Nothing identifying but it shows how easy these things can end up online.

I have definitely overshared (repeatedly) and a couple of times had threads recognised. I find it odd given how many mumsnetters there are. But I was open about mumsnetting a long time ago when it was new and novel to me. So that's probably why.

I figure friends will have forgotten by now.

I still assume that out of thousands of posts every day here, the chances of being outed or in the DM etc are slim.

MacnCheese Someone reported your thread to the police? What?!

It would be almost impossible to identify someone from a thread unless they gave specific names and locations though. The engagement ring thread for example; there are thousands of people getting engaged, it couldn't be linked to anyone surely?

It makes me laugh when posters refuse to reveal their dh's "hobby" for fear of being identified. It's nearly always cycling anyway.

MacnCheese I think I remember that. Yes there was some person who got particularly het up if I'm thinking of the right one. That's really annoying that they wasted police time over it.

Unless caffinestream is on your birth certificate or you've deed polled it, I think you're fairly safe that any inane ramblings are private

Not if what I write is specific enough to out me in real life. It's private in the sense that my name isn't attached to it but that doesn't mean I can't be outed if I write about specific situations and the people involved read about them.

The ring thread was different.
I know it's not private. But most of what I have posted in the last 13 years on MN, no one has taken any notice of!!

I know here isn't private. And I also know my DP knows I use it. He has never to my knowledge looked at the website or looked up what I write, or my username.

However, I do tend to try and avoid threads that become viral. As I don't want him, or others, having it thrown in their face if you like, as opposed to having to look for it? Not sure how much sense that makes.

I have only once requested to have a post removed, and that was on a viral thread that has now been removed itself. Because if that particular post shone up on FB etc it was clearly me. And although it wasn't offensive to anyone, I felt I liked my semi private name here.

I'm sure if DP/ exH's fiance who stalks me wanted to find me, they could figure it out here with a bit of work (though I've name changed every six months or so for the last few years) but I don't like it being thrown in their face by lazy journalism.

I once wrote a aibu under a different name and the person who it was about was a mumsnetter- not akward at all (joke).
Not just the papers we need to think about. Id honestly not thought said person would be on here until they let me know they read it.