To think she is wrong

[Letstryagainshallwe]

My friend was dating a man and after a month disclosed to him that she has a std that is long term (can't be cured) he has decided to end the relationship (she told him after a month) she is furious at him for ending the relationship. But I think he is within his rights to not want to continue with it. Is she being unreasonable or is he??

That is disgusting to not let a partner know you have an STD! Especially HERPES!

Is the 'friend' actually you @letstryagainshallwe ???

I know it's a form of herpes but there doesn't seem to be the same stigma. I guess it's annoying hearing about it constantly (all day today basically) as she's been with 4 other guys since they broke up a month ago!

Lol no it isn't me. Why would I be posting about myself sayig I think she's wrong?! I'm not defending her clearly quite the opposite.

I think it's you because you know a phenomenal amount about your 'friend,' and you seem very invested in it all.

Why would you be saying she is wrong?

Have you ever heard the expression on mumsnet known as a 'reverse?'

I also think it's quite clearly and very obviously you but I don't think that matters as the point has still been expressed and made that it's 'her' that's being unreasonable.
Take care, OP.

Well ok if you want to believe it's me then whatever. I've said it's not. I know a lot as she's my friend!! She tells me everything.

I don't think you like your friend very much, however.

I had a baby in May. But yeh sure I was dating someone whilst heavily pregnant. I dislike her cos I said she's wrong?? So your only meant to agree with friends?

Not with that being the reason

No, the way you speak about her have me that impression. That and starting a thread to encourage a load of strangers to agree with you.

For gods sake who cares who the thread is about?? Op's friend is a tool, the man ain't into her and she needs to start telling ALL sexual partners that she has herpes before she shags them!!!!!

I actually wanted to know if i was wrong as like I said she's asked men if they would stick around If they met someone in that situation and has been using it as a reason why he is out of order when the men have said yes they would. Anyway I have not given any of her details and I know she's doesn't use forums. And as this forum IS anonymous I wouldn't need to pretend it was my friend I would just make another account, but again, whatever.

Cold sores are the same thing as herpes. There are teo strains of the herpes virus commonly in circulation, HSV1 and HSV2. It used to be the case that HSV1 more commonly affects the mouth and HSV2 more commonly the genital areas, but due to society's increasing, er, adventurousness its all mixed up now and you're as likely to have HSV1 on your bits and HSV2 on your lips as the other way around. They're the same thing, a cold sore is a herpes blister and a herpes blister is a cold sore. But somehow because its on the genitals, a genital blister is dirty and repulsive and the owner is damaged goods. Ah, our enlightened modern moral values

People should be upfront with potential sexual partners about the fact they occasionally get coldsores/herpes, upfront about where on their body they have outbreaks and what the implications and precautions are. However one of the things that would help herpes carriers to do so would be if the utterly ludicrous lack of equivalence was done away with, and also if people could acknowledge (a) that herpes is amazingly prevalent (b) that lots of carriers have it and don't know they do - asymptomatic carriers, herpes is not included in most STI tests BECAUSE IT IS SO COMMON. It would also be good if all cold sore sufferers understood that THEY HAVE HERPES, not just to stop them looking down on those who get their blisters elsewhere than their mouths but also because herpes, while pretty harmless if inconvenient to adults, is very very dangerous to young babies with immature immune systems. If dear granny doesn't realise her harmless, innocent cold sore is actually a dreaded STI, and kisses your new baby all over its little face, it will be no comfort to you that it isn't the 'dirty' herpes overrunning their tiny body and threatening them with brain damage and death.

Sorry, but the ignorance around this subject gets on my nerves not a little.

Re your friend though, yes SIBU. He can dump her for whatever reason he sees fit. After 5 months, she can have a cry and a few cocktails, call him a dickhead and move on with her life. Anything else is frankly attention-seeking drama-queenery, herpes or no.

So she didn't tell him before they started having sex, only told him when there was an issue with a condom, doesn't appear to know much about passing the disease on and is manipulating him in to staying in a relationship that he doesn't want.

She sounds like a fucking keeper (sarcasm for those that missed it)

I do think that the herpes you get on your genitals is a bit more serious than a coldsore on your mouth, it can be extremely painful, make you quite poorly and is linked to cervical cancer. But as a poster has pointed out, it is very prevalent and many of us probably aren't aware we have it. However, if you KNOW you have it then you MUST tell sexual partners. This bloke may be just using the herpes as an excuse or he may just not be that into her.