AIBU to think this is weird behaviour after a death?

[NoSoggyBottoms]

I know this is a sensitive subject and I totally get that we all grieve differently but I know someone who's dad has passed and she kept some of his beard hair on the mantelpiece with other things (photos, etc) like a little shrine. Is this weird or have you heard of similar things?

I'm fortunate to not of lost anyone but my dh lost his dear mother seven years ago and her coat still hangs on the coat rack. Wouldn't dream of moving it. And I also work in mental health and you'll be surprised how many fell apart because of grief or some simply didn't grieve and are now grieving years later. It's incredibly important to grieve. Wether it's weird or not.
Believe me these little weird things actually helps the souls recovery faster. Those who don't go through this process end up more conflicted and unfortunately end up needing help to grieve. Iv seen the most odd and weird things from a grieving man/woman/child but it just reminds me that we are all different we are all human and this is a very good sign of recovery.

It's not weird to keep hair and photos of a loved one who died.

Personally, I wouldn't put them on the mantelpiece where anyone who came in the house would immediately see, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

Grief is very personal, anything goes.
To anyone who is grieving, sending you love and strength, this is an unpleasant thread.

I have a really dreadful pure nylon cardigan, vintage M&S before they even tried to be tasteful, it is truly hideous, not my size, not even the moths will touch it, but it belonged to my mum and has been with me for 40 years. It lives at the bottom of a drawer, I tend to forget about it but always give it a smile and a stroke when I come across it.

See, I think there are two types of people.

One who sees something like this and thinks 'oh how sad, they must be grieving terribly, I'll try to be extra kind'

And one who thinks 'you fucking weirdo. I'll better go an start a fairly identifying thread on MN to see if anyone else thinks you're mental.'

Nice to see which camp you're in OP!

@lemmein I still have my boyfriends number in my phone, it's been 4 years and I'm sure the number has been released to a new customer, I'm terrified of the day I get a misdial from his number!

I have a leaf that landed in my hair that my boyfriend removed, handed to me and said my first gift to you, treasure it always (shortly before we got together) I put it in my clear phone cover and it's been there since! Is since been pressed between sellotape as it was starting to crumble and while he was alive I thought about throwing it away a lot as it was silly and cheesy but then he passed away and now I couldn't throw it away! (I'm a nanny and my 3 year old charge was on holiday recently and brought me home a leaf for my phone, so now I have two!!)

Oh and I still have his pants in my underwear drawer, his bum did look pretty fine in those pants, it's a nice memory when I see them!

I'm not sure anyone gets to decide what is a 'normal' way to grieve.

I know my sister grieved very differently to me when my mum died. She did what others might describe as a bit weird. Her grief and the way she dealt with it, has also changed over time. She did what she needed to do at the time to cope.

I have the book my dad was reading the day he died, with his bookmark still in it. It sits by my bed. It's a real "boy's" book with an action-y cover. He was a quiet, academic man, but loved a thriller. Makes me smile.

In my dads memory box I have a snip of his hair I took after he'd just died. I just wanted to keep a part of him. Total normal part of grieving... we need to be more open about death and rituals in this country instead of being so sanitary about it all.

My mother keeps a Wispa bar that was in my father's pocket when he died- 34 years ago.
It still precious to her.

You sound incredibly immature op.

This is a request for personal experiences usually media easier to get a response on a place like this so be vigilant peps

Oh Bertrand I have the same! It was a factual book that I bought for him, and I have read it since - but I keep the bookmark where he left it (he hated to lose his place).

Who are you to judge how someone remembers their dead partner? Bloody hell. And yes, does look awfully like a fish for info.

Weird but by that I simply mean hard to understand when not in that situation.

I'd ignore it. It's simply a way of coping.

I call lazy journo too..

Thanks :) the rational part of me thought no it can't possibly be so. The totally irrational part of me thought blimey mum is calling from the great beyond!

She would have thought it hilarious. And also that I must've up to No Good to feel so immediately guilty

Though my mother was already two years dead
Dad kept her slippers warming by the gas,
put hot water bottles her side of the bed
and still went to renew her transport pass.

You couldn't just drop in. You had to phone.
He'd put you off an hour to give him time
to clear away her things and look alone
as though his still raw love were such a crime

He couldn't risk my blight of disbelief
though sure that very soon he'd hear her key
scrape in the rusted lock and end his grief.
he knew she'd just popped out to get the tea.

I believe life ends with death, and that is all.
You haven't both gone shopping; just the same,
in my new black leather phone book there's your name
and the disconnected number I still call.

Tony Harrison.

I think it's pretty normal to want a keepsake of a loved one ? x

My mum saved my cord stump in my baby book, she died when I was 1. Lots of people think it's gross but I still have it, it's my link with her.

I keep some of my Dad's ashes in a locket and wear it alot, especially if I have a big day or need luck. I never tell people though as I know some people judge and I don't want to have to justify myself. To me it's totally normal and comforting knowing he's so close.