Aibu to think the local authority will house me?

[Jojomarie29]

Hello,I'm 33 and have suffered with anxiety most of my life.
I still live with my mum and I'm single.
I claim esa due to anxiety but I'm trying to get my life on track.
What chance do I have of the LA housing me?
I'm desperate to move out but can't afford to private rent.
Will the LA house me?
How do I go about it?
How many months will it take?
Will I be entitled to full housing benefit?
I'm hoping to get back to work soon.
Any advice would be great

If you are in Manchester you can register on their housing site which then allows you to see what properties are available and you can bid on them. It also tells you what previous properties they had, how many bids were received and what band the 'winners' were in. 2 and 3 bed houses and maisonettes are in high demand obviously but you might stand a chance for a 1 bed high rise flat. Can't help with eligibility for HB, I paid full rent when I was in a council flat a decade ago.

www.manchestermove.co.uk/

If your mum's house is council as you say, then the local authority already is housing you. Surely they'd know that if you went to them? Your mum would have to pretend she'd kicked you out for some reason. Is she likely to be up for that? Seems risky.

Looking at the bigger picture it seems more of something to strive for to keep your spirits up than a practical possibility. Which is totally understandable. We all want a nice place of our own where things will be better. The problem is the reality might be worse. Whether it's a crappy shared property or too expensive or just too lonely, it might well exacerbate rather than help your anxiety. Unless there are problems at your mum's beyond the embarrassment level, then that could be the best place to be when going back into employment then build from there to get your own place.

You need to be realistic.
You have a home, it may not be ideal, but many people are in a less than ideal housing, it certainly is better than many.
You are a single lady with no dependents.

Both of those put you way down on the list. I've had a quick squint on that Manchester site. There are a few properties you can bid one. One has no bids, the question is if that is because it's only just gone on or if there are other issues, as I don't think there was another 1 bed property that age wise you could bid on which had less than 40 people bidding on.

And it's not a waiting list that you eventually get to the top of. It's done on need, so you could come 2nd every time and it makes no difference.

If I put it this way a friend who fled under witness protection with 3 small dc, 1 of whom was disabled, living in B&B still took over6 months to get a place despite scoring high enough to be 2nd for some time.

I think it's partially your illness talking. "If I can get a house, I can focus on doing it up and it'll be lovely and it will help me get over it and then I can get a job." I have a teen dd like this. It's always one more step and then she feel better and will be able to do what she needs to do, as she'll feel better.

But the dream picture isn't the reality.
The stress of finding you haven't got the house you set your heart on again.... and again.
Then the one you get is in a bit of a rough area.
The neighbours seem unfriendly.
It isn't close to public transport-or even a decent shop.
You need to furnish it and you haven't got the money for essentials, let alone paint (and no that's not cheap even assuming you've got brushes/rollers etc to do it with).

So you're now in a bit of a grotty flat, away from your dm's support and you know you should apply for jobs, but you really can't face it until you've done the house up a bit. But you haven't the money to do it up until you have a job, but you can't face that until you've done the house...

Have a look at the council and go and have a chat to them. Ask them to be realistic about what you might be able to get.
Then consider your options with the knowledge of that.

If you move out will your mother be hit with bedroom tax? Can she afford that? Will you both then be in competition for the same flat?
It might be better where you are financially. And if you have GAD it might work better to have the back up of another adult. Have you ever lived alone?
Plus if anything happened to your mum (hopefully not!) you could possibly take over the tenancy.

If you cope and we're happy with volunteering two days a week, why can't you work? I think even a part time job would help you feel as if you were moving on in life, and get you out of the house, which you seem to have issues with. With all due respect, you do not need housing provided just because you are living in your family home and don't like it. You need to concentrate on making your own positive changes rather than hoping it will be handed to you on a plate.

Sorry, that sounds harsher than intended! It was meant to be constructive advice.

OP, 20odd years ago I could have written your post. I was 22, miserably back home with my parents after leaving my job due to my anxiety making it impossible for me to work, hating living there, hating feeling like a failure cos I'd gone from having my own home, good job etc to being on income support and living at home, feeling like I was left behind while everyone else's life moved forwards. Times were different then, my parents made me homeless (cos to be frank my depression, anxiety and general feeling of having been robbed of the life I 'should' have made me a nightmare to live with) and I was accepted as such. I was placed in temporary accommodation, shared kitchen and bathroom which ramped up my OCD, somewhat intimidating fellow tenants who I was terrified of, the usual though the place I was in was better than many. I was eventually offered a council flat which I jumped at.

The point of all this is that I was incredibly fortunate - I was accepted as homeless, placed in not-too-bad temp accommodation then offered a flat in an OK area - but times have changed in the last 20 years and even then I could have come off much worse than I did, I was lucky. If you were accepted as homeless by your LA, you would have NO CHOICE either in the temp accommodation you were offered, or any eventual tenancy you were offered, cos if you turn it down you are considered to be intentionally homeless,and the council has no futher duty to house you either in temp accommodation or your own place. Your ideas of what you would or wouldn't accept mean nothing, you'd get no choice. Plus you'd most likely get a short term tenancy, the days of 'council house for life' have gone for new tenants now, so in 2 or 5 or whatever years you'd be expected to find somewhere else anyway.

I so clearly remember the feeling I get from your posts, of being hard done by, of deserving to get what I wanted because I wanted it, and in hindsight I can see that I was young, immature and mentally ill but at the time I felt panicky and humiliated and marooned, I was so ashamed of living with my parents and having failed at life and got stuck on the idea that having my own place would fix everything. Surprise surprise, it didn't. Volunteering helped, then getting a low pressure very part time job helped as my confidence built a bit. Medication helped, and long term therapy definitely helped. Slowly rejoining life helped. Please don't fixate on having your own place as being the magic bullet to get your life where you want it to be. In the current climate I think it takes a lot of energy and perseverance to get social housing, and you could use that energy and perseverance to get your life closer to how you'd like it to be instead of focussing on where you live. All the best.

Are you seriously asking to be housed just because you don't want to live at home or am I reading that wrong?!
My DSis is currently living in what can only be described as squalor, with 2 babies. It barely has any heating and hot water, mice infestation and fleas. The council (SE London) has said she can expect to live there for up to 2-3 years till something else comes along. She can't go home as our DM suffers with a terminal illness and I just don't have the room for her.
I think you should be thankful for why you have

In the nicest possible way, you are being very niaive. Paint doesn't cost nothing. In a allish living room we got through two plots of top coat and a pot of undercoat, a can of gloss for the undercoat. We didn't have much change from £100. Multiply that by three or four rooms and it gets very pricey.

Also the bills, you end up paying all of the TV licence all of the gas, water and electricity all of the phone and internet. They're the real killers! Shopping is expensive (the bills don't half)

I was struggling to make ends meet and I was in a far better financial position than you're in. Buying a pack of washing powder or razor blades would leave me struggling. I sink into dispair, became isolated, not helped by the fact I didn't have money to socialise. I would worry you'd flounder if you were alone. (In the unlikely event a one bed flat is available)

I get that living in your childhood bedroom isn't ideal. Why not repaint that and rearrange the furniture or even get some secondhand furniture to paint. That might make it more like your space and somewhere you want to be, rather than a relic from your childhood.

Can you not try and achieve some more independence at home? I get living at home as an adult is hard, but living independently is really expensive! If you don't work, how are you going to pay rent, council tax, TV license, gas/electric, water, food and internet bills? Not to mention things like phone bills, repairs to your goods, and even things like furnishing the flat in the first place.

You're not just going to have to pay for paint, you'll be paying for things like furniture, a fridge, microwave, kettle, towels, sofa, dining table etc etc as presumably all those things you use at present are in fact your mums?

I think you like the idea of being independent but if you can't work (and I sympathise, anxiety is awful) then I don't think it's something you're going to achieve through getting a council property. Moving out is expensive! That's why huge amounts of people don't do it unless they can share with friends or live with a partner.

What if I said I didn't have anywhere to stay?

If you said this, you would not be telling the truth. What has to happen - to an approximation - is your mother has to write a letter to the council stating that she does not consent to having you live with her, or something to that effect. Quite whether your mother has to change the locks and put your stuff out on the front porch I am not so sure. At the moment, you are housed, you are suffering from anxiety, and you would like to have something to look forward to in the form of a house to make into a home of your own. Whilst getting the latter might seem overwhelming I am reasonably confident that it could happen if you wanted it to. It might entail some significant changes though.

Is living with your mother affecting your mental health do you think? In either direction.

In some parts of the uk social housing is literally advertised on gumtree and rightmove.
In others homeless people with disabilities wait years for housing.
Best off contacting the LA directly

Go and see a local housing association and explain your situation. A letter from your mental health team might put you from one band of need into another, but it won't mean instant help. Might as well get the ball rolling though and find out your options. They will also advise you about rents and housing benefits I imagine. I walked into a local housing association when a family member was in a tricky situation, and they encouraged her to apply, she started bidding for their properties and got housed (did have high priority category though).

Best way to move out is to build your confidence through getting a job, earning some money, and renting a flat.

I don't know if you've noticed all the fraud convictions lately but lying to get free accommodation on the tax payers' dime is illegal and likely to be investigated. Obviously everyone could just lie otherwise.

I really think you should try and take this in the right order and not run before you can walk. Having a job isn't less anxiety inducing than running your own home, so you will find you get a huge confidence boost from the sense of accomplishment and pride in proving to yourself that you are capable of work.

If you were homeless, and could prove it (councils are often suspicious of "evictions" by parents), the council would place you in temporary accommodation while they decided if they had a statutory duty to house you. They would only have a duty if your health problems are such that you would be more vulnerable than someone without those problems if you had to sleep rough. On the basis of what you've told us, I think that's unlikely.

It's worth going on the housing register and bidding though. Councils & HAs are starting to build more new homes, and because they become available all at once, people with relatively low priority bands are sometimes getting lucky. People with banding only one band up from the lowest got places a few months ago, because there were 20+ homes all up for allocation in one round of bidding.

Op I truly sympathise with severe anxiety. I couldn't comment on how that must feel but it feels as though you're basing this sudden urge to move out on lives your friends have.

You cannot possibly compare anyone's life to yours. You sound clever and qualified from your past working life. Discuss these feelings in your CBT and they might be able to help you get back in to work first, work up a deposit and without sounding harsh getting some pride back in what you've achieved. You have an advantage of having a roof over your head with your mum who should support you through the hard times and you have a social network. The world is your oyster... I wish you luck and happiness for the future

You may have more luck with HA. My friend(working, but low income) was re;ocaing to the south coast to be nearer her mum. She applied to one and got offered a flat straight away. Worth considering.

Honestly OP, it will depend on your area and whether your anxiety is severe enough to give you a medical need for your own space. I say this because what people mean by "I suffer from anxiety" can vary hugely.

Here, you could put your name on the list and you could bid on properties as they became available. You would have an entitlement to bid on either studios or one bed flats. However, without a medical need or an actual housing need (being homeless, being currently in substandard or overcrowded accommodation etc.) you would be in the lowest band priority wise.

That doesn't mean you wouldn't ever be offered something, but it would probably take a few years.

My advice would be to register to start with, and see what happens. There is no such thing as "council houses" here, the entire social housing stock is owned by HAs and all of them advertise their properties on the one central website, which means that you only have to register once to see everything available and all housing is allocated under the same system.

I think you'd do better to look at your local mental health options such as CBT ect and get your life back on track (it might take a while because I know waiting lists aren't great), get yourself a job then focus on finding somewhere to privately rent. It would take about the same time as getting housed by the council in your situation and it would give you goals to focus on that would possibly help your anxiety. I suffer myself so I know how hard it is but I know for me at least if I set small personal goals then I can make it through feeling a little better about myself.

Additionally you'd have that sense of pride at the end and wouldn't be taking a home from someone who needed it more. I would honestly advise you NOT to lie about your circumstances to the council (saying you have nowhere to live) as it's dishonest and a reason the system fails so many people in genuine need. Good luck

Fucking unbelievable. Don't fancy a shared house eh OP? I had to rent rooms till I was 30 years old whilst building a career in a shite paid field. Coming home from night shift unable to make a cup of tea because the entire kitchen was filth. Trying to sleep through housemates loud partying/sex marathons. Sponging black mould due to damp off the walls. I worked hard, saved up, and am now living in my own rented flat. If you have goals like living independently in your own space you need to be realistic and get your head around the fact that you have to put in hard work, you can't just put your hand out to the LA, say 'anxiety' and walk into a nice little one bedroomed place. And please don't lie and say you're in emergency need of housing - there are people who actually are in this position who are in much greater need. Use the position you're in to get your head straight, work on your confidence and find volunteering which can lead on to paid work. Save up and move out off your own steam.

I have GAD, and take medication for it. I work full-time and live in a one bedroom rented flat that I pay for with my salary. I'm 37. I know how hard it is to have GAD, but I honestly feel it would be harder for you to move into a hostel or a flatshare than to stay where you are. The housing benefit rules say that anyone under the age of 35 is entitled to enough benefit to cover the cost of a houseshare, not a full flat of your own. Sorry, but if you want the luxury of your own space, you really will need to start working.

Could you try voluntary work for a few months until you get back into the swing of working, and then get a paid job? I know its not easy (it wasn't easy for me either until I found the right meds to treat my condition), but most things in life aren't easy, and we just have to get on with it. It wouldn't be right to give you a full flat to yourself for nothing when other people in the same position have to work really hard to get the same.

Jesus User. If you haven't suffered a life of anxiety, then you really have NO place to criticise the OP so horribly. You have no idea how awfully it can effect someone's day to day life.

Belittling genuine mental health issues is so fucking typical in this country, and I say that as someone who (fortunately) does not suffer from any depression or anxiety or anything. It's something that we have no qualms sweeping under the carpet - anxiety becomes "anxiety". Depressions becomes, "oh, she's having a hard time at the moment - feels depressed". It's fucking disgusting and no wonder so many people suffer for years and years on end because they are too ashamed or scared of ridicule to actually seek help.

FritzDonovan - volunteering is very different to working. I manage volunteers in my job, and a few of them are on ESA. They can cope with volunteering because they can pick the hours that suit them, if they don't fancy it, they don't come in and there's no stress, they can say "I don't want to do that" if I suggest a task they aren't interested in.

It's dramatically easier than actual work, and just because you can do one definitely doesn't mean you can do the other.