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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to think the local authority will house me?

173 replies

Jojomarie29 · 17/08/2017 20:15

Hello,I'm 33 and have suffered with anxiety most of my life.
I still live with my mum and I'm single.
I claim esa due to anxiety but I'm trying to get my life on track.
What chance do I have of the LA housing me?
I'm desperate to move out but can't afford to private rent.
Will the LA house me?
How do I go about it?
How many months will it take?
Will I be entitled to full housing benefit?
I'm hoping to get back to work soon.
Any advice would be great

OP posts:
SilentBob · 17/08/2017 20:54

I lost my job which came with accommodation a few years ago. I went to my local council (north west) and applied for a council house/flat. I have one daughter who was 15 at the time. I was housed in a 3 bed flat within weeks. One of the worst areas in the town. I took the flat, got myself another job, did flat up to make it home, got myself together, moved out within a year and will forever be grateful!

I drove past said flat for a further 18 months going to work every day...it's still empty.

TL:DR- if you're anywhere near my old hometown, it could be a lot quicker than other, shall we say, more desirable places*

*born and bred there, I'm allowed to say it's a bit shit! 😂

Original poster
Jojomarie29 · 17/08/2017 20:55

It just feels like everyone's life has started
Jobs,boyfriends,kids,houses
And I'm here ,it makes me feel awful about things,as if I've failed.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 17/08/2017 20:56

These sorts of posts make me so cross. You have somewhere safe to live, you're not overcrowded, you're able to do as you please. There are real homeless people, people who sleep in bus shelters and have to wash in public toilets and you want a house for the sake of it. I've worked with those people for decades and I can still summon up some sympathy for a clearly unhappy, unwell person who just wants some space of her own.

It's great that people are giving practical advice and I agree that working towards a job is a great idea. But giving someone with anxiety bad enough to not work shit because she wants something is not OK.

OP, I really hope you find a solution. Maybe look at Housing Associations, supportive housing and so on.

Original poster
Jojomarie29 · 17/08/2017 20:57

I have skills and up until 5 years ago I worked for a well known airline at my local airport,I loved it but then things took a turn for the worse with me ,I quit my job,sold my car and never returned to a job since.

OP posts:
HoneyIshrunktheBiscuit · 17/08/2017 20:57

You should try and focus on your own victories op. I know it's hard - especially in today's culture with social media and where we constantly compare our lives to others. But try focusing on the small goals you can achieve. You're not a failure by any stretch of the imagination.

MadMags · 17/08/2017 20:57

Oh, OP, paint doesn't cost nothing. Everything costs and it can get very expensive living alone.

Don't let embarrassment make you do something that could make you more vulnerable. You have legitimate reason to be living at home.

MumIsRunningAMarathon · 17/08/2017 20:59

so whats the next step op?

CherriesInTheSnow · 17/08/2017 21:00

When I was housed in temporary accommodation there was a girl my age in there who had no kids and lived with her mum, but they both apparently had mental issues which was why the girl was placed into temporary.

Unfortunately though, as far as I'm aware she didn't get housed. She was on her last round of appeal when I moved out of there and I think unfortunately without children it is very hard to be seen as a priority. However, I live in the South East and the housing situation, both private and social, is an absolute nightmare. Maybe if your LA has more to offer you have more of a chance?

Here unless you are unintentionally homeless (surprisingly difficult to qualify for that) and have children or are pregnant, then there is just not enough housing to house those in need. They may well suggest that you look into private housing associations and see where that gets you.

Papafran · 17/08/2017 21:01

I don't think I would like to be in shared accommodation..well I just wouldn't take that at all

The point is that that is what you would be offered. Not a one bed flat, because singles under 35 are only entitled to the shared room rate.

It sounds like you would be entitled to housing benefit, but would need to find a private rental (shared room) that accepted DSS and you would then receive the money to pay the rent. You would not be housed by the council in your own flat.

Maybe with that in mind, living with your mum for a bit longer isn't too bad. Take slow steps. It's hard, but don't compare yourself to others. Life isn't a race. Ten years from now you might be in a fantastic position and it's your friends who have fallen on hard times. You never know how life works out. For now, redecorate your bedroom to brighten it up a bit. Look into things to take you out of the house and boost your confidence, like exercise classes or even just walking. Speak to your therapist about setting short term and long term goals so that the future looks brighter.

OlennasWimple · 17/08/2017 21:01

In the very nicest possible way, how can you be so sure that moving out of your mum's house will be a positive step for you?

I get not wanting to sleep in your childhood bedroom and wanting some personal space that is yours and yours alone, but it is also very very lonely living on your own. You have said that you suffer with anxiety to the extent that you are unable to work: I don't see that living alone is going to be the thing that will help you overcome this.

IAmTheDragon · 17/08/2017 21:02

I would be a happy with a 1 bed flat it I'm honest.

With all due respect, there are couples with children living in one beds. You might have more luck with a studio, but you're really not a priority.

Darkblueskies · 17/08/2017 21:02

Sorry OP I didn't mean at all to imply that you don't have skills or that you can't get a job. I just meant it might help you build
up to working.
I know it's hard when it feels that life is passing you by but you're doing so well considering at one point you couldn't leave the house alone. Just make small goals for yourself and work up to moving out.

ElizabethShaw · 17/08/2017 21:02

Sometimes single people can get housed quicker than overcrowded families or disabled people, as you can get a 1 bed/studio on the 15th floor of a tower block which are harder to let, especially if you aren't fussy about area.

WyfOfBathe · 17/08/2017 21:03

Would you feel able to start working very part time? Even if it's just half a day a week, or casual work like cat feeding, you could use that to make a start on saving for a deposit or use it to make your space at your mum's feel more like your own. I do know it's not always possible to find very part time jobs.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 17/08/2017 21:03

I sympathise with how you feel, i became too ill to continue with school just turned 15 and feels like my life ended there. Never well enough to go to college or work, ive just been "on hold" for over 12 years. I am reliant on my dad as full time carer since i had to drop out, am mostly housebound. All my aquaintances have their own flats, engaged or married, kids, and im still emotionally that 15 year old waiting for my life to unpause.

Redglitter · 17/08/2017 21:03

Paint costs nothing

Oh believe me it costs. Having just moved house I can tell you it probably costs more than you think.

You really need to try and get some money behind you. Even if you were lucky enough to get a flat what will you put in it? Other than stuff in your bedroom what else do you have? Setting up a first home even with just basic things can be expensive

PollyFlint · 17/08/2017 21:04

Local authorities do house single people, yes, but they don't necessarily house single people who already have somewhere to live, which you do - you have a home with your mum, however embarrassing you find it. Your expectations aren't necessarily realistic at the moment.

This isn't a case of people here being horrible to you; it's a case of answering your question honestly based on their experiences and knowledge of the housing situation. I'm sure everyone here would love you to get your own place, but we can't make it happen or tell you that it will. I understand you don't want to live with your mum forever and that you would like a place to call your own, but that alone doesn't qualify for them for a local authority flat.

Nobody on here can assess your situation, so there is no point in arguing about whether you should or shouldn't be entitled to housing -we are not the people who can decide whether or not to house you. You need to have this conversation with your local authority and see what they say.

You've already done really well in improving your mental health and managing your anxiety - you've been really strong. As you say, you're already a lot better in yourself than you were, and can leave the house. When you're a bit further down the line with your treatment, you'll be able to think about getting a job and then you'll be able to save up towards a deposit on a place.

Original poster
Jojomarie29 · 17/08/2017 21:05

The shelter website is very confusing but I'm sure it says that you can get full housing benefit for a council /housing association .
I did volunteer work for age U.K. For a year,2 days a week which I enjoyed

OP posts:
MumIsRunningAMarathon · 17/08/2017 21:07

does your mum work? own her home?

TheDevilMadeMeDoIt · 17/08/2017 21:10

OP I mean this in a nice way, not a snarky one, but you sound quite naive.

To think you might get a one bedroomed flat is being beyond optimistic in most places, and certainly in Manchester.

You say 'paint costs nothing' - no it doesn't. Well, not unless you're prepared to put up with all the odd half tins of paint your relatives have kicking around. And then what about some furniture, a kettle and a toaster, plates and mugs and so on?

it sounds as though you are understandably fed up and frustrated with your life, but that your plans to change things are more daydreams than practical thought out propositions. Rather than asking strangers on MN, who could live anywhere in the four nations and beyond, start googling for your local area. If you have friends who rent their own place, ask them about what they needed when they moved in. Try to form a realistic idea of what will be involved, what accommodation might be available if you were to get any, and then start on a plan to make it happen in whatever the likely timeframe you might be working with.

Original poster
Jojomarie29 · 17/08/2017 21:10

No she doesn't work and it's also a council property

OP posts:
MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 17/08/2017 21:11

So you have work experience and you have managed to do volunteering. Housing is not your priority. Work is. As you are in the WRAG, that won't last forever and you could find out at your next assessment that they find you fit for work, what will you do then? The ESA assessments are very difficult, you won't get it forever. Get back to volunteering first. Sorry but you shouldn't get a council home or more benefits to support this.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 17/08/2017 21:12

So you're already housed in a council property. Why would they give you another council property?

MumIsRunningAMarathon · 17/08/2017 21:14

right....so is she vulnerable too? you moving out might have serious repercussions for her too. if you in any way rely on here, think about the damage you could do by moving out...not coping...then would she even have you back?

NicolasFlamel · 17/08/2017 21:15

"If you’re single and under 35, you can only get Housing Benefit for bed-sit accommodation or a single room in shared accommodation."

That's from the .gov website. Essentially you'd be moving from shared accommodation into shared accommodation or a bedsit. It still wouldn't feel like your own OP. I really think with your mental health issues it would be far, far better to build up slowly and get back into work. Then think about moving when you have a nice amount of savings and a bit more confidence.