Why do people fear Home Educators so much?

[sebumfillaments]

Not a TAAT but inspired by the other thread, I was stunned by the level of vitriol aimed at home education. Is it all borne from fear and ignorance?

Home Ed isn't about replicating school. And education isn't (in our case) about gaining qualifications from an institution to increase their value in the workforce!

So why so much animosity?

Also why are you stalking them on social media? You might literally want to get out more. I'm thinking your boundaries are a bit iffy now you mention it.

What I'm getting from a lot of these posts is an overwhelming lack of imagination wrt life beyond the end of your own nose. So many people seem to be unable to understand that their experience of life and school is far from the only experience. Is it really so hard to consider that other people have different experiences, circumstances, skills, qualities and abilities that makes HE the better option for their DC? Someone upthread mentioned that their child wanted to do coding and they couldn't possibly teach them that so o course they go to school. Guess what, some people actually can teach that to their DC. Holding that up as an example of why HE can't work is ridiculous. It can't work for you. That's all.

And in HE groups there are an incredible range of skills available. When we were HEing we taught one lad how to shear sheep, and someone else was teaching him Japanese. That's a skillset you won't find on offer in your average academy!

Why can't people see that H.ed parents are capable of deciding on the right type of education for their children?
It's shocking to still be reading the same old criticism all the time.
I came to Mnet through H.ed quite a few years ago now and I'm still reading the same old crap.
We only have one dependant dc now, the others having gone through school and not really gaining a good education.
The last dd is a boarder, prior to this was H. ed and before this infant school.
You do what suits your child, there is no best way, just the right way.

Some people are scared of H.ed because it makes them question their decision and they aren't open to change.
They are threatened because they think H.ed parents have found something more suitable, when in fact they have just had the opportunity to do what suits THEIR child.

I probably know about 70 plus home ed families. I know ONE very strange woman, conspiracy theorist type who home educates her children. That's it. Out of all those families she's the only one. I always marvel at the one or two home ed families that many MNetters claim to know, because without fail they're always weird, odd and in general just Getting It Wrong!

Well I have two DC in primary school and there are some real weirdos hanging about that place at pick up time

Oh god I've just realised I only have one in primary school now as the oldest starts secondary school in 2 weeks!

BackieJerkheart It's late, we'll let you off.
Funny thing is, mine loved Home Ed and loved school. Wonder if that's maybe an attitude thing?! 😉

I often feel like there are schools for children with large global delays and significant LD, but for those with mid to high functioning ASD, those with MH illnesses etc are left with nowhere suitable.I also worked with kids with LDs that couldn't ever keep up with their peers. It was obvious before the end of primary that they wouldn't be getting C or above at GCSE therefore their scraps of paper would be pointless

It's very very difficult to find these sort of schools. Not only that, the majority of schools (I presume!) which cater to "Mid-high functioning ASD" are independent specialist schools which costs £££ and usually requires a battle with the LA to secure funding which then results in having to spent ££££ to obtain legal reports/evidence.

Surely it would be better to work on life skills rather than teaching them to fail pass an exam. Teaching them how to cook, clean, use money, expected/appropriate social interactions. Find their interests and work towards goals that could mean employment in those areas

Honestly, a good parent who recognises this, is able to teach their children life skills. Yes, a school supporting life skills old is really good but I want more for my DS. I want my DS to be literate... to be able to read and write... I think that's very valuable. Learning to read and write is such a useful advantage and is a very very important life skill... not only that if my child has SEN and is very academically able..but the SEN is effecting him academically. Why would I write my child off and teach him just life skills ??? I would want a school which supports my child's SEN as well as helping him to reach his academic potential.

And education isn't (in our case) about gaining qualifications from an institution to increase their value in the workforce!

I don't consider a child to be well educated if they leave school with a fist full of certificates. I consider a good education to be that which equips them to be able to follow their passions.

I think you quite succinctly gave examples of why I dislike Home Ed. I frequently fear for the children but am not afraid of 'Home Educators'.

Yeah I agree OP. In the UK people seem to think that normal people cannot educate their kids. Only specially trained people trying to manage 30 kids can do this well. Unfortunately in the UK home education is perceived as being for those kids who couldn't survive school or those who are thrown out of school. That's been my experience from talking to other parents and home educating seems to put fear into people and they think you're weird or wrong or that kids who are home educated will never have a normal life, and never be able to get a proper job. Just saying, my experience.

I have 6 children and home educate 4 of them (one is at secondary school and one is a baby).

My 10 year old has dyslexia and serious problems with his writing but at school he was tested as just a squeak above the level of classing as special needs and so the school had no funding for any extra help for him. They tried with extra writing practice etc but ultimately by year 3 he was in tears every day and he wasn't getting any kind of education at all. He spent his days sitting in class basically doing nothing. He was years behind his peers in all subjects.

My 7 year old is currently being assessed for autism and for her school was a nightmare she is very clever but she was so stressed by school she would bite her own arms and hide under tables. In the end it felt more neglectful to leave her in that situation that remove her.

The other two ages 8 and 5 did well at school/nursery we had no concerns about sending them.

The 10 and 7 year olds came out of school 1.5 years ago. The 8 year old followed after 6 months.

It is hard tbh, we don't do school at home as such but we follow a Charlotte Mason curriculum , which is basically learning through literature so there's loads of reading, discussion, writing and it's also big on kids being outdoors.

It is, however, also a HUGE improvement on what we as a family experienced at school. The morning used to be me physically carrying my daughter while she screamed and bit and kicked, then the school sending out their only large male teacher to manhandle her through the door and lock it behind her. All the while my son would be crying behind us because he was "afraid" of schoolwork. That's gone now.

My older daughter has never been home educated. She is 13 now and does well at school. My son is due to start secondary school in a years time and tbh we have NO idea what we will will do. One part of me says he should go to have the experience and exams but another knows he is not going to get his GCSEs at any reasonable level, there's no point pretending he is.

I think it's just another part of parenting is HARD and no one ever knows if they made the right choice until it's too late!

I've known 2 home ed parents.
One did a great job and got her son into a brilliant secondary school. He's doing well and will go far.
The other, I can only describe the boy as socially stunted. It seems to be more for her benefit than his.
I think it can really work well if the right person is doing it. If not, it could be the greatest barrier to the poor child's future.
Like PP said. It's all very well and good not to stifle someone with certificates and exams, but we live in the real world.

Why do some Home Educators think that anything except unconditional unquestioning support is fear?

I don't consider a child to be well educated if they leave school with a fist full of certificates. I consider a good education to be that which equips them to be able to follow their passions. That's it really.

Fortunately (1) the two are not mutually exclusive, and in your very statement you tarr mainstream education with the broadest of brushes, and (2) what you consider, is, thankfully, not important to the way the overwhelming majority of the world thinks, acts and operates.

The only time I believe HE is comparable to even the shittiest school, is when the parents know what they're doing (ie are ex-teachers, or follow a HE org/'school' like in australia) /hire professional grade private tutors. I've seen far too many instances of HE screwing up because of thick parents.

I've never heard of anyone fearing home ed. What an odd view. Exposure to odd views without any moderation is one reason why in the vast majority of cases it is not a good idea.

"I don't consider a child to be well educated if they leave school with a fist full of certificates. I consider a good education to be that which equips them to be able to follow their passions. That's it really.". So do I. But I want my children to have both. Certificates are not the be all and end all. But they open doors. The more bits of paper the better. Not just school ones. My teenage daughter earns lots of money as a qualified football referee, for example. And my dd missed out on a fabulous opportunity when she was 17 because, although she had been dancing seriously since she was 4, the school I chose for her (deliberately) didn't do exams, so she had nothing formal to show for 13 years of work.

I have meet so many teachers who are totally dumb. I have one on my Facebook that can't even spell! You only have to open a newspaper or read on mumsnet to hear about how bad schools are. You only have to look at the majority of the population, whom I presume went to school, to see that a lot of people are failed by the schooling system. Sexual abuse is increasing in schools. Funding is being cut left, right and centre. Teachers are under paid, poorly trained and even many of them are leaving the system and taking their kids with them. Bullying is rife. Children's mental health is on the decline.

If you have found an excellent state school that by some miracle has none of these problems, then that is great. If you can afford to send your child to a lovely private school that is even better. But a lot of parents see how are state schools are and rightly so want more for their children. I know loads of academics who home school their children and they are all the most happiest, well rounded and interesting children I have ever meet. Not only this but the self motivation they have for their education is amazing. Many have qualifications and the younger ones are planning to when older. They all scoailse regularly, do sports, languages, arts, coding... the list is endless.

Part of my job is to visit schools and home educated children doing outreach activities. The school kids are always the rudest, the teachers let them run wild. They never answer questions or take much interest - although you do get the occasional one that bucks the trend. Also I get to have lunch with the teachers in the staff room, and that is an eye opening experience on its own.

The HE kids on the other hand are always so keen to learn and so thankful. Many of them ask thoughtful questions and I am always surprised by the depth of their knowledge at such young ages.

A lot of parents don't want to HE and that is fine too. But all this nonsense from school parents suggesting HE is damaging and that children don't socialise is just ridiculous. I would certainly considering HE for my children. I think it is an amazing thing to be able to do for your child.

Op can't you see you aren't offering the life chances that you had with your fistful of qualifications? If you have other measures of success it's not mutually exclusive with getting a formal education, you teach your children huge amounts of things besides them going to school, such as social skills, problem solving, practical skills etc. I've known one girl who's come out of HE without any qualifications and she's sorely behind her peers. It's so sad and she has little self-esteem about her abilities. I think the thing that annoys me is that HEers seem so smug about the choice when it just seems to limit children's life choices rather than open them up, learning from teachers who know about their subjects.

I think we all need to broaden our definition of education including schools themselves. I pulled Dd5 out of school for a while, she changed from a fairly happy confident child to a clingy unhappy little girl. It was dramatic.
Home schooled her for a year. She just got a first from a leading university. I think her being in school at that time in her life could have put her off education for ever. It wasn't that hard to teach her stuff, she learned to read and basic maths up to fractions with me and the help of her siblings. I honestly think kids only learn about one useful thing a week education wise at school.
drspouse being in school is

1. massively increasing the possibility of being bullied
2. exposing your child early on to influences you may not wish them to have ( everything from pressure to confirm to stereotype body images to faddish eating)
3. potentially labelling them ( top/ middle/ bottom) for life.

youaredeluded

"Part of my job is to visit schools and home educated children doing outreach activities."

Thank fuck you aren't an English teacher!

" I think it is an amazing thing to be able to do for your child"

It is, but the issue is that many can't. They try, bless 'em, but they can't and it's a massive gamble to have taken.

School is ALL about getting certificates to prove value in the work place. That and learning to co-exist/work alongside fecking idiots, as you must do in life

Kids pursue their passion/interests in their spare time. Maybe as an adult you do your passion as a job