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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why do people fear Home Educators so much?

810 replies

sebumfillaments · 16/08/2017 22:06

Not a TAAT but inspired by the other thread, I was stunned by the level of vitriol aimed at home education. Is it all borne from fear and ignorance?

Home Ed isn't about replicating school. And education isn't (in our case) about gaining qualifications from an institution to increase their value in the workforce!

So why so much animosity?

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2017 22:55

DS2 is doing Engineering GCSE, I think that would be an enormous task to teach at home. I don't think I have the right equipment.

MyWhatICallNameChange · 16/08/2017 22:56

If you saw my sons handwriting you'd be appalled and think I'd failed him as a home educating parent. I expect I would be judged.

Yet he's been home educated for a year and spent the previous 5 years at school with me asking for help, being promised help, no help happening, asking, being promised, nothing.

(And before anyone asks, no, he was so stressed from being at school all day that he would refuse to do anything resembling school work at home)

sebumfillaments · 16/08/2017 22:56

Rafikilsthebest They all (as in the ones I worked with) struggled with their peers and struggled with being told what to do.

Was that because they were home educated or why they were home educated?

How were you involved? As a tutor?

OP posts:
JoelyB · 16/08/2017 22:57

more like accurate and annoying because you know they are entirely valid.

If that's what makes you feel better.
Alternatively read the rest of my post.

ASauvingnonADay · 16/08/2017 22:57

Haven't RTTT but, from working in a school have seen numerous children forced to return to mainstream by LA because their parents having removed them to HE, have done diddly squat and the children have been in a worse position than before they left. I don't know anyone who HEs other than those, so my limited experience is not positive, but my educated brain tells me that I am sure plenty do it successfully!

sebumfillaments · 16/08/2017 22:57

MywhatIcallanamechange "Have you thought about a reward chart?" Grin

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notevernotnevernotnohow · 16/08/2017 22:59

The rest of your post tells us how your kids got into good colleges after you had the sense to send them back to school. Hardly a sterling defence of HE, is it?

sebumfillaments · 16/08/2017 22:59

How were these "numerous" children forced by the LA????? Please tell me more about how they did this!

OP posts:
SweetLuck · 16/08/2017 22:59

I think you sounded sneery when you said I don't consider a child to be well educated if they leave school with a fist full of certificates and that is why people are responding as if you are a berk.

zzzzz · 16/08/2017 23:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sebumfillaments · 16/08/2017 23:01

Sweetluck I didn't mean to sound sneery and I don't think there have been many posters who have responded as if I am a berk, although clearly you do!

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JoelyB · 16/08/2017 23:02

The only issue I have ever had with home education is when the parents put the child in mainstream education and expect mainstream to do the same as them.

That's a shame. My daughter's sixth form tutor said I was a model parent and she wished there were more like me, and she'd had both mine through sixth form.

They were both praised for knowing how to work independently and being self motivated, well disciplined and exceptional communicators.

Here's a thought, radical but worth a go ; maybe there are good home educators and crap home educators. Just like there are good schools and crap schools. And good teachers and crap teachers.

Notso · 16/08/2017 23:03

I think more home educators fear school education than the other way around.
Having helped a friend run HE sessions the majority I have come across fit the stereotype and if people had only had contact with those families then I can see why they would not fear HE but certainly have negative opinions.

ASauvingnonADay · 16/08/2017 23:03

I think through a school attendance order, but I'm not certain!

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 16/08/2017 23:04

Joely if that original comment was aimed at me I would say that 'mine were home educated until we felt like a change and then went to school.' Is the very definition of the privilege I mentioned. You 'felt like a change' - so many children and especially girls would kill to be in a position where 'feeling like a change' gave them access to a free education.

JoelyB · 16/08/2017 23:04

The rest of your post tells us how your kids got into good colleges after you had the sense to send them back to school. Hardly a sterling defence of HE, is it?

Of course not, no. One was year 9, the other year 12. Before that they'd clearly just been counting jelly babies.

Clearly no point in contributing to this conversation.

sebumfillaments · 16/08/2017 23:04

How does that work, Asauvingnonaday? If they have deregistered from school, there is no school to attend. Please tell me more.

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notevernotnevernotnohow · 16/08/2017 23:04

How exactly do the LA force parents to educate their children in school?

School attendance order. Threaten prosecution for neglect. If you can't or don't provide a suitable education for your child you can be in a lot of trouble.

CauliflowerSqueeze · 16/08/2017 23:05

Homeopathy suits some people more than traditional medicine.

sebumfillaments · 16/08/2017 23:07

The LA would have to PROVE neglect, and (I'm saying it again) if they're not on a school register then there's no school to order the attendance to. And who do you think decides with the education is suitable? The LA don't have the right to do that. You might think they do but they don't.

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VeryCunningStunt · 16/08/2017 23:07

Why on earth do you think people 'fear' Home education?

That question is not going to be answered. And the reason it's not going to be answered is because there is no answer that doesn't imply that people are 'frightened' by HE because they are brainwashed, narrow-minded cattle who have been conditioned into believing that 'the system' is the only valid way and are therefore 'frightened' by anything else. Wink

zzzzz · 16/08/2017 23:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsJoyOdell · 16/08/2017 23:10

I'm not remotely against home education and think it's absolutely the best for some children, particularly for some with SEN. Some parents HE wonderfully.

However, in my experience those HErs that I know are doing it because they can't be arsed to get their kids to school. They don't want to risk outside involvement and they border on neglectful. Some others just aren't very good at it tbh. I met a 10 year old with less (basic) reading ability than my 5 year old.

I think there should be better regulation.

VeryCunningStunt · 16/08/2017 23:10

Homeopathy suits some people more than traditional medicine

Maybe homeopathy does 'suit' some people more than traditional medicine.

But does it cure more illnesses than traditional medicine?

Seeingadistance · 16/08/2017 23:11

I have concerns for children who are being home educated - many of which have been already mentioned here - the reduction in choices and options for the children, potential for social isolation, chances that they will receive an inferior education, lack of formal qualifications meaning that they lack opportunities in terms of employment or tertiary education etc.

A huge concern I have is that there seems to be no oversight of the home education children receive, certainly in Scotland where I am, and that children who are being abused or neglected have no way of contacting another adult to tell them about that abuse. I'm not suggesting that home educators are abusive, but I think it is very worrying that parents can, if they so choose, isolate their children in the name of home-schooling or home education, whatever you want to call it.

I've only ever known 2 families who home-educated, and they were very different from each other.

One was a family where they felt let down by their son's Primary School which they felt wasn't meeting their son's academic needs, and even more worryingly, wasn't tackling the bullying which their son was being subjected to. Those parents, while trying to resolve things with the school, started to investigate home ed, and put plans in place to make it do-able. They made sure their son would have opportunities to socialise, engage in a range of activities, and engaged tutors for some key aspects of his education. It took months to organise and the parents rearranged their finances and working lives to make it work for them. The plan was always to home school for the rest of Primary School, and they were looking at different options for secondary school.

The other family were very different. They had three children who had been in at least two primary schools by the time I knew them. They are my parents' neighbours. They took the children out of the second school and took them to Australia for a new life - lasted a few weeks, came back. Got the children back into school. The mother then fell out with the teachers - shouting matches in the school corridors etc. Took them out of school. Had a shot at home ed. Tried and failed to get them into other schools. Ended up home schooling all three all the way through Primary and Secondary. The family live in a rural location, with no public transport and their mother doesn't drive. Father works long hours, sometimes away all week, so they became extremely socially isolated. We would sometimes see the children if we were out for a walk, and if they saw us, they would run and hide. Oh, and I found out that the mother was telling people that my son, then 5 years old, had cancer. He didn't.

So, first home schooling family. Yep, they had sound reasons for it, they did their research, planned it all as best they could, and it was done for the benefit of their son.

The second home schooling family. Nah! There was always something a bit off about them. They home-schooled in the end because they had burned their boats with local schools, and my parents did worry about those children, but didn't feel there was anything they could do as no evidence of anything, but still didn't feel right. And that's the thing. Those children had no one other than their parents.