Why do people fear Home Educators so much?

[sebumfillaments]

Not a TAAT but inspired by the other thread, I was stunned by the level of vitriol aimed at home education. Is it all borne from fear and ignorance?

Home Ed isn't about replicating school. And education isn't (in our case) about gaining qualifications from an institution to increase their value in the workforce!

So why so much animosity?

That question is not going to be answered. And the reason it's not going to be answered is because there is no answer that doesn't imply that people are 'frightened' by HE because they are brainwashed, narrow-minded cattle who have been conditioned into believing that 'the system' is the only valid way and are therefore 'frightened' by anything else.

Unfortunately "the system" is what gives our children jobs. The system is what teaches our children an other view point.
And yes, "the system" is what your child will be measured against ... (hence the private tuition to pass exams???)
So nope not frightened by the HE crowd at all!
Brainwashed cattle, not quite ... but if you insist very clever ones! (Why pay if you can have something for free?)

I think people don't realise just how many children there are out there with additional needs that cannot be accommodated in a school environment. It's pure ignorance of something that outside your own narrow experiences. Almost everyone I know who home educates was forced to for one reason or another. People who pontificate about home ed being a bad idea and express concerns about children slipping through the net don't understand that many of these children are unable to learn in a school environment and just being there is causing significant mental harm. I had a self harmer who used to punch himself in the stomach and bang his head off the wall because he was such "a bad boy". His school experience was horrifying and he can't even stand to set foot in his sister's primary when we go to pick her up. I have very little patience discussing it in real life tbh as most people are completely clueless unless they have a similar child. It's tedious looking at their bemused and simultaneously smug faces - you might not think such a mixture was possible but it is.

Sorry didn't really answer your question.
But from the above I guess you can surmise that I felt that it was a result of lack of schooling rather than why.
Neither sibling group had 'real' friends. One went to a HE get together every few months (ie when all the siblings agreed to go), the other sibling group only spent time with their siblings.

Thinking back as a young teen I had a friend of a friend who was HE. I couldn't stand her long before I knew. Very obnoxious know it all. My friend has learning difficulties, part of which left her quite vulnerable and immature. I was younger than her by a few years so when we were altogether it was like she felt in charge and superior. She didn't 'play' or interact like a teen, she was sort of like a typical grumpy adult. Any childish act was met with a scowl and a snide comment. She was an only child and thought of my friend as her BFF. Even my friend thought she was a 'bossy boots'. Her parents were also obnoxious know it alls, so even if she went to school she probably would of been the same.

I don't actually know any HE kids/adults that I think have benefitted by HE, but then in my role I suppose that isn't shocking. I do 100% believe that it can be done well and have lots of benefits to the children. Mainstream schools cannot fit every child.
I personally think I would of benefited a lot from a boarding school.

Joely if that original comment was aimed at me I would say that 'mine were home educated until we felt like a change and then went to school.' Is the very definition of the privilege I mentioned. You 'felt like a change' - so many children and especially girls would kill to be in a position where 'feeling like a change' gave them access to a free education.

Erm ... the original comment referenced multiple replies.
As per the OP really, I don't understand the vitriolic loathing.
Privilege? Globally, yes - a privilege I try to acknowledge by sponsoring a child in South America. Now she does need a school - she doesn't have the internet or any number of other resources to hand.
In context? Not so much. We made sacrifices to offer our children a different kind of start in life. To this day we rent our house because we decided to live on one less than average income while they were young in order to do things a little differently, so we weren't able to afford to buy.
I didn't deprive the state education system of anything by doing this? We paid our taxes and effectively paid for our kids places without taking them up? So why am I abusing privilege?

Agreed Serf. So many of the home ed families I meet are doing it out of necessity due to additional needs, rather than lifestyle choice. I would actually rather my son was able to go to school. I'd like a break (and a job!) But needs must.

To the person who said home ed kids are 'odd,' did it ever occur to you that might sometimes be one of the reasons for home educating in the first place? My son would probably seem odd to you, but that would be the case whether he was in school or not.

@sebumfillaments I was actually reading from my LAs website... and I don't claim to be an expert of any sorts.

In fact, my original response was intended to answer the original question, and help to explain why people have certain opinions on HE. Ie. A lot of us don't see it unless it goes wrong!

Why pay if you can have something for free?

Because not all schools/teachers are equal and quality of education is not the same across the board in state schools. Some just aren't getting what they are supposed to be getting even for free.

I home ed my ASD dcs, school was damaging them emotionally and their needs weren't being met. Anxieties have greatly reduced and they have stopped self harming behaviours.

I think people don't realise just how many children there are out there with additional needs that cannot be accommodated in a school environment. It's pure ignorance of something that outside your own narrow experiences. Almost everyone I know who home educates was forced to for one reason or another. People who pontificate about home ed being a bad idea and express concerns about children slipping through the net don't understand that many of these children are unable to learn in a school environment and just being there is causing significant mental harm.

^^ This with bells on. Thankyou Msgamenadwatching

@zzzzz the cases I know of there has been an element of neglect so perhaps.

I have nothing against the school system (well, apart from SATs and the government being arseholes changing things every 5 minutes) Like I said my others go to school - mainstream and special school. Unfortunately for my youngest his needs aren't severe enough to warrant an EHCP and a smaller school that would suit him - though he his too academic for special school and a school for academic children who can't cope in mainstream is virtually impossible to find.

The plan was to home educate him for the rest of primary but I can't see him being ready for secondary. His brother's school is fantastic - for them. Our catchment school is awful, a no go. We may look round others but I don't think he'll be going yet.

I H Ed ds because it is the right thing for him.
I took him out of school at the end of year 3 because he couldn't read or write and was getting nowhere in class and the stress of having to do the homework which was completely beyond him was not great for either of us.

He went back in for year 6 which it turned out to be an excellent school which he enjoyed then he started at Senior School and everything went downhill from there . He couldn't keep up and he was getting stressed out again so we decided to return to HE.
ATM he is doing GCSEs with an online school. And because I have placed a lot of importance on knowing what he wanted to do as a career we have been able to have the time to research different careers and when he said what he wanted to do everything fell into place.
He has already looked at colleges. Chatted to the teachers and is ready to hand his application form in ASAP when the applications open in September.
He is really excited about it all.

MsGameandWatching thank you, you're spot on.

I was asked, not long after deregistering DS, if I was worried about lack of socialisation. This was by the mother of one of the kids who made my son's life a misery. The only socialisation my son got in school was being picked on or ignored in the playground. He now gets excited about going to his tutor groups and has friends.

Because not all schools/teachers are equal and quality of education is not the same across the board in state schools. Some just aren't getting what they are supposed to be getting even for free.

The same applies to HE parents and tutors.

The same applies to HE parents and tutors

Much more so, in fact. At least most teachers have some qualifications in teaching.

MyWhatICallNameChange that is the situation we are in too. There is literally nowhere else for my son to go. And I won't subject him to mainstream again.

Jamesblonde1 I'm reporting your goady post and personal attack.

Do you think that for those children that are HE because of additional needs that actually what they really would benefit from (in an ideal world of course) is a school that fits them/their needs?
I often feel like there are schools for children with large global delays and significant LD, but for those with mid to high functioning ASD, those with MH illnesses etc are left with nowhere suitable.
I also worked with kids with LDs that couldn't ever keep up with their peers. It was obvious before the end of primary that they wouldn't be getting C or above at GCSE therefore their scraps of paper would be pointless. Where are the schools for these kids? Surely it would be better to work on life skills rather than teaching them to fail pass an exam. Teaching them how to cook, clean, use money, expected/appropriate social interactions. Find their interests and work towards goals that could mean employment in those areas. Luckily (or not... I'm not sure) the kids were either too young still or effected by their LDs in such a way that they weren't aware/bothered about the differences in their ability compared to their classmates (unlike the child who was HE until arrival at that school) and the schools I were at all have very strict anti bullying policies.

The same applies to HE parents and tutors.

Of course. No argument there. My comment was In direct response to a post (that I quoted) questioning why pay for something when you can get it for free. My point was that many aren't actually getting it at the free place.

Go do one James

I don't have a problem with legitimate HEers doing their best by their children, and I absolutely get that it works well for many children in the hands of sensible parents, but I do have a problem when their defensiveness about their own right to do what they like with "their own children" without any controls or oversight results in protecting people who are HEing for more dubious or sinister motives.

My possibly unique take on the situation is that I've got a HFA child who is socially awkward with no herd instinct and a fantastic autodidact. He's taught himself enormous amounts of stuff from books and the internet, and in many ways would be a natural poster boy for HE if I was prepared to quit work. But a good mainstream comp, well attuned to ASD needs, has enabled him to produce academic work that I would never have dreamed possible, in subjects and topics way outside his normal sphere of interests, precisely because of the rigidity and lack of choice. I could never ever have supervised my HFA twelve year old to engage with character motivations in Shakespeare in a million years, and he can still happily go on to learn more about the War of the Spanish Succession, or pyroclastic flow, or Abstract Expressionism or whatever else he fancies this week, in his own time. Yes I know we're lucky in our school...

JamesBlonde1 Why are you picking on the OP? Or is that your opinion of all of us that home educate?

And actually, we pay our taxes, including for schooling, while not actually using schools. So fuck off about paying for us.

Rafikilsthebest - yes yes yes! To all of it! I would have loved my children to have thrived in school but instead it damaged them. And at least now I have the time and oversight to ensure that the stuff they REALLY need to know, goes in, without worrying that they're stressed and upset as well as not learning anything at all!