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AIBU?

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Original poster

To Report my bitch boss (poss triggering)

30 replies

Partypolitics99 · 16/08/2017 20:00

I had a miscarriage at the weekend on a Sunday, only found out I was pregnant the day before. Very upset but went into work on the Monday as normal. I told my boss what had happened as I was aware my eyes are red from crying and she said "best you aren't in to take your mind off". So all ok.
Yesterday I started bleeding really heavily at work and dispite having a huge pad on it came through onto my chair. I also started having really bad cramps and did not feel well at all so I asked the assistant manager if I could go home (My main boss was not in).
I went home and led down for the rest of the day and the bleed calmed down. I went in this morning for my boss to call me in and asked why I had gone home.

When I told her she said that surely the miscarriage would have finished by yesterday and that I should have worn a thicker pad or two pads and stayed in work. She then went on to say she hoped there would not be a repeat today.

I could not say anything I was in shock and just went in the bathroom and cried my eyes out. Was found by my colleague who said my boss is a bitch (she does have form) and I should report her.
Luckily boss was at a meeting for the rest of the day so I managed to avoid her.
She does have huge form for being a cow and belittling people.

Unfortunately the buck stops with her, we have no HR, just a board of trustees who are all pretty useless and just jump to the bosses tune (they were all handpicked by her)
Nothing I can do is there?

OP posts:
Original poster
Partypolitics99 · 16/08/2017 20:01

Sorry it was meant to say when I did go in to work on the first day my boss said it was best I was in to take my mind off it.

OP posts:
shivermytimbers · 16/08/2017 20:03

Wow! I don't know what you could do (hopefully some other people will have ideas) but just Wow! That is completely callous.
Flowers for you

Shoxfordian · 16/08/2017 20:04

That's hugely insensitive of her

Can you report to her boss what happened? Maybe look at finding another job

So sorry as well about your miscarriage. I hope you're feeling better today Flowers

kittybiscuits · 16/08/2017 20:04

You should raise a written complaint and escalate to a grievance if it's not adequately dealt with. Do you have access to the grievance policy? That is really awful and I'm so sorry for your loss and how you were treated Flowers

Original poster
Partypolitics99 · 16/08/2017 20:06

She does not have a boss, she is the chief executive and then there is the board of trustees. The head trustee is best friends with the chief executive.

OP posts:
Original poster
Partypolitics99 · 16/08/2017 20:07

The problem is I love my job and my colleagues, but hate my boss
The area that I work since all the cuts is poss the worse area to work in at the moment when it comes to finding a new job.

OP posts:
GarlicGrace · 16/08/2017 20:08

Shock I am sorry, a miscarriage is a horrible experience. I hope your poor, beleaguered body calms down soon.

When it does, maybe look for another job?

JimLahey · 16/08/2017 20:08

Flowers I'm so sorry for your loss.

You have been treated awfully and she should not be allowed to get away with this. As said above look into the grievance policy if possible.

GarlicGrace · 16/08/2017 20:10

Cross-posted with you.

OK, maybe another job will take time ... and, you never know, you might need your earned maternity entitlement. Good to hear about the lovely colleagues, anyway, you'll be able to lean on them Flowers

kittybiscuits · 16/08/2017 20:10

She does need to get the message loud and clear that she is both ill-informed and massively inappropriate to speak to you like that.

Original poster
Partypolitics99 · 16/08/2017 20:11

It if was not for my colleagues I think I would have cracked up by now, mind you it is the name for everyone. She has her favourites but is a bitch to everyone else

OP posts:
JimLahey · 16/08/2017 20:11

Sorry cross post.
I hope your boss finds an ounce of humanity in her and realises what a cow she was and apologies to you.

Original poster
Partypolitics99 · 16/08/2017 20:12

Name- I meant same. Dam phone

OP posts:
MrsMoastyToasty · 16/08/2017 20:16

I would raise a grievance and in it mention ACAS and your union (if you belong to one).
I would also visit your gp and get signed off sick.

SheSaidHeSaid · 16/08/2017 20:16

I'm outraged on your behalf.

Flowers look after yourself Flowers

brasty · 16/08/2017 20:16

So sorry to hear that, but not sure what you can actually do. Sadly when you work in tiny organisations, there often is no one else to appeal to.

brasty · 16/08/2017 20:17

If you can join a union though, that would be a good idea.

Queenioqueenio · 16/08/2017 20:22

You should be off sick if you are bleeding so heavily Flowers
I would take time off to recover and look for s new job Cake

Brittbugs80 · 16/08/2017 20:22

Hope you are ok.

Whether she's friends or related to those above her, there's still a procedure they would have to follow. Definitely put in a call to ACAS.

I'm sure someone can correct me If I'm wrong but ACAS can also tell you how you should word letters etc.

They were brilliant when my former employer tried to tell me I was only entitled to 6 days holiday a year for working 40 hours a week doing 4 days of 10 hour shifts rather than 5 days of 10 hour shifts.

Lolabridges · 16/08/2017 20:28

Dear god you poor thing.

I would go to the doctors and get signed off work for as long as it takes now. Assuming you are paid when out. Even so, I would disappear for a few days anyway. You are grieving.

Then when you are feeling better, report her insensitivity to a higher up. If you have a doctor's note outlining the circumstances (if you want it known, but you told her), all the better in your report.

Hugs.

Bluetrews25 · 16/08/2017 20:31

So sorry for what you have been through. While I have every sympathy for you, be aware that any complaint you make will be pointless and could make her behaviour worse. Been there, with complaint against someone higher up the food chain. You need to just start the job hunting, I'm afraid, unless you can manage to smile and nod and think 'ODFOD' in your head. ( = oh do fuck off, dear)

BluePheasant · 16/08/2017 20:32

I would try and get an urgent appointment with GP tomorrow and ask for a sick note for a week. If you are still bleeding heavily you need to rest. Your boss is indeed a bitch Flowers

brasty · 16/08/2017 20:37

Lolabridges There is no higher up she can report to.

ACAS are great where your employer is doing something illegal. But I don't know if they are here. Please join a union.

summertimeandtheweatherisfine · 16/08/2017 20:38

Report for yourself and for others.

Go to gp and get signed off and recover properly then go back.

If she continues to be a bitch see a lawyer.

Sorry for your loss, miscarriage is bloody painful mentally and physically.

brasty · 16/08/2017 20:46

summertime There is no-one to report to

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