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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that by financing our teenagers lifestyles we are creating a generation of people that don't know how to work.

175 replies

Sunshinegirls · 16/08/2017 16:18

We own a business and when we employ a young person (18/24) we struggle with them. They have no idea how to work, they are lazy, they are entitled.
Reading another thread just now it has occurred to me that it is the fault of today's parents.
When I was a teenager, I had summer and weekend jobs to pay for anything I wanted. My parents still fed and clothed me for school, but fashion items, possessions and leisure activities were financed by myself. It seems these days that (some) teenagers get everything bought for them and as such are growing up to be entitled and work shy.
Surely if a teen wants a gadget, they have to get a job to pay for the gadget?

OP posts:
Lobsterinacan · 16/08/2017 16:19

it is a bit of a generalisation I know quite a few kids that want to work hard and do work hard. I do think also now are as you say though!

Original poster
Sunshinegirls · 16/08/2017 16:21

Yes, that's why I said "some teenagers" as I didn't want to generalise as I can only speak from my own experiences

OP posts:
notevernotnevernotnohow · 16/08/2017 16:22

It's not that simple. When I was 13, I got a job in a supermarket (actually I had a paper round since I was 11).
My 11 year old can't get a paper round, they don't exist and 11 year olds are not allowed to get jobs. Supermarkets don't employ 13 year olds. It's hard to get a job even as a 16 or 17 year old, with 0 hour contracts and the way jobs are now, they can get older people for the crappy wages that used to go to kids.

People don't even seem to want babysitters etc anymore. My teens work for me, I pay them to do all sorts of stuff, and they are neither lazy or entitled.

Cocklodger · 16/08/2017 16:22

YANBU. I read something on here It's definitely made me feel stronger about it.
Apparently paying for your dcs phone top up, laptop "designer gear", car and insurance and driving lessons are standard costs of having teens Shock

notevernotnevernotnohow · 16/08/2017 16:24

Apparently paying for your dcs phone top up, laptop "designer gear", car and insurance and driving lessons are standard costs of having teens

They always were for parents that could afford it, and they aren't now for parents that can't.
Do you think the richer kids in my school worked when I did? They did not!
Nothing much has changed.

Sparklingbrook · 16/08/2017 16:25

YABU. You can't just make a blanket statement. Every family is individual.

I paid for my DS to have driving lessons. I have no issues with that. He has had a P/T job for 2 years.

UserX · 16/08/2017 16:27

How old are you? I'm 43 and the exact same thing was said about my generation and the generation before and the generation before.....

You've met one "young person" who doesn't have a good work ethic. Don't generalize.

BlurryFace · 16/08/2017 16:28

I quit school at 15 and started work, that was legal here until recently. I think it only hits that things cost money once you earn your own and there can be teething problems when you start your first job and find your supervisors more rigid than your teachers/parents. DH and I have both worked with teens who treated everything like a game.

upperlimit · 16/08/2017 16:30

I don't understand. Why do you think that young workers would have a better work ethic if they had fewer things? I'm not sure how they go together.

Lomas16 · 16/08/2017 16:30

I work in a supermarket and they dont have saturday jobs now staff are expected to work 5 days over 7 to cover.Also some jobs you have to be 18 due to health and safety

notevernotnevernotnohow · 16/08/2017 16:30

I think it only hits that things cost money once you earn your own

Only if your parents have taught you the first thing about money!

Glumglowworm · 16/08/2017 16:32

YABU to generalise

I'm 32, didn't have a job til I was 20 Blush and was academically clever but lazy at school. I still worked my arse off in my first job and every job I've had since. I'm regularly among the top performers in my current job. I'm certainly not lazy at work.

Nobody now will employ under 16s. Even 16-17 year olds can struggle to compete against 18+ year olds. I also think the academic pressure on teenagers gets worse and worse. They spend 6 hours a day five days a week at school, plus a couple hours of homework a night. Plus the almost obligatory extra curricular activities (sports, clubs, etc) that they're encouraged to do to look good on their uni application. Plus if they do Duke of Edinburgh as they all seem to, there's a volunteering aspect to do.

I have worked with lazy people of all ages. I've also worked with some increadibly hard working people of all ages.

SideOrderofSprouts · 16/08/2017 16:32

I worked from 15 in a shoe shop. Then as a waitress in local pubs at weekends until I started work full time

My tween has £20 a month pocket money. She has to earn that. If she doesn't do her chores she doesn't get money. I buy her basics anything else she wants she buys with her money. She likes to save

Fresh8008 · 16/08/2017 16:33

Its not just teenagers its the whole of society. You want a car, borrow the money. You want a better lifestyle, get more benefits. Job not pay enough, get cheap immigrants to do it for you. You don't want to learn when your at school, you can become an internet star. Everyone expects everything to be handed to them on a plate and if its not its because they are being discriminated against.

I wouldn't blame teenagers, its the culture we have created.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 16/08/2017 16:33

Stereotypes, generalisations and bullshittery.

notevernotnevernotnohow · 16/08/2017 16:33

Stereotypes, generalisations and bullshittery.

ModreB · 16/08/2017 16:35

All 3 of mine worked from the age of 15. We have a really good local business that employed the oldest one as a Saturday Boy, then gave the other 2 jobs as they got old enough (legally). They work bloody hard, it's a manual job that leaves them very weary at the end of the day. Apparently, the business finds it hard to get young people who know how to work.

But, my lot were brought up to do jobs for stuff. If they wanted a £120 pair of trainers, I would say I would give them what I thought was reasonable, say £50, and the rest they had to find themselves by doing jobs, for us or for neighbours. It teaches them that stuff costs money.

I knew I'd won when DS2 went for his first day at the saturday job, got his money and went to buy a computer game. He came home without it, and when I asked why, he said "I looked at the price, and realised it cost a whole days work to buy it. I'll wait until the price comes down."

Kids need to know the value of money, so YANBU to say we should stop financing them. Jobs ARE out there, if you try enough.

Original poster
Sunshinegirls · 16/08/2017 16:37

I didn't generalise, if you read my post I said some teenagers and UserX, where did you get that i have met 1 teenager and made an assumption? We have employed a lot of young people. I'm opening a discussion not tarring a generation.

OP posts:
AhhhhThatsBass · 16/08/2017 16:38

Wouldn't necessarily agree with you. I think as with every generation, there are teens that get everything handed on a plate and others that don't.
In my own case, my parents valued a well rounded education above all else so apart from a bit of babysitting on a Friday or Saturday night, they much preferred to see me getting my homework done and participating in sports, spending time with friends at the weekend over working, and financed my life accordingly. So I got most of what I wanted as a teen without having to work for it.
That said, I grew up with parents who both worked hard and were successful and I wanted to emulate that success in my own life so also went on to obtain a degree, masters (all of which was financed by my parents), chose a well paid career and generally followed in their path, despite never having done a days work in my life before the age of 20.
(I am fully aware, by the way, that I was fortunate to have parents who could finance all of this and equally aware that many do not.)

ShoutOutToMyEx · 16/08/2017 16:42

My experience is similar and I thought this too reading the other thread.

I know it's different now, and grown adults with years of experience can't find work, let alone kids, but to be honest I'm not surprised some young people can't get a job if they're like some of the ones I've worked with.

This is just one example, but we had a perfectly healthy nineteen year old who once called in sick because she was too tired. Actually she didn't call, her mum did, and when questioned on her return she said that 8am is too early for her to get up and some people just aren't cut out for full time work. She wanted to go part time and her parents were planning to make up the difference in her wages.

I know it's only one person and anecdotes don't prove anything. And we have some fantastically hard working young people employed too. But I hear from several, often, that they can't be bothered, don't want to do things, feel sick or tired, tasks are too difficult etc, on an open floor in front of clients. I feel like saying yeah, newsflash - work is hard! I think that attitude is far more prevalent than it was when I first started work.

Loopytiles · 16/08/2017 16:46

Are you employing young people with work experience and appropriate qualifications?

How do you know their parents fund them?

V hard relative to yesteryear for teens to get part time work. I had a job from 14, decades ago, but even then was under pressure to work more hours - full time, on top of study - or get no hours.

Boulshired · 16/08/2017 16:49

This must be where you live as well, mine have never had trouble finding work, the biggest problem for DS1 and his mates is the companies want too many hours and lots of pressure for them to do extra shifts even outside the legal limits of 16 year olds. They also know that the companies will not give the hours to those who cannot do the job to their standard and most are on zero hours so have to perform well to be kept on.

AgadorSpartacus · 16/08/2017 16:50

Well yeah but sure that's as it's always been.

SOME teens are lazy. For lots of different reasons. SOME modern day teenagers get lots of things paid for by parents. SOME don't. Does it mean that's why they're lazy? God knows. Maybe.

It doesn't mean or prove anything really.

Queenofthestress · 16/08/2017 16:51

I'm 22, I worked my ass off doing 60 hour weeks starting at 5am everyday with a baby at home because I had to, I actually dont have any friends that dont work, they all have since 17
But I do know of a fair few that are my age or older that prefer to sit on their asses doing fuck all or drugs
It goes both ways, just depends on who you employ really

EssentialHummus · 16/08/2017 16:53

It depends really - and in your circs there is at least a possibility that teens in their first jobs need a very firm introduction to the rules of the workplace. People are often quick to write them off - someone who comes across as lazy/reluctant might need to be overtly told that they are expected to do x or y.

I had parents who financed everything for me and still would if I asked (I'm now 31). By 18 I was working two jobs around uni, with my parents asking me repeatedly to scale it down/reminding me that I didn't need to. No idea why. Will be interesting to see how mine turn out.