Exercise class full of vipers! AIBU to be put off?

[OverTheHammer]

I'm a member of a gym and so far have stuck to using the machines and swimming only as I know how uncoordinated I am so dare not brace the classes.

Last night I plucked up the courage to try a "legs bums and tums" class as the description made it sound rather stationary.

When I got there, other members were a bit mean to me and not at all welcoming. I always assumed the classes would be set up prior to arrival so I found a "stepper" and sat on it like everyone else was. I was then told that it belonged to someone. Ok ... so I moved to another one and was told rather abruptly that that one belonged to someone and I had to get my own. I had no idea where to get them from!! I eventually saw someone disappearing into a cupboard and returning with a stepper so I followed - got myself a stepper and then went to sit on it - I was then told to move further away from this particular group who were all chatting and to find a space!!!

Good job I'm thick skinned! So feeling like the unpopular new kid that nobody wants to talk to I found myself a space (as far away from any fucker as possible!) and sat down (waiting to be told off again!).

Finally the class started and I just couldn't keep up as my lack of coordination had me in knots. There was no guidance and when I looked to the side of me to grasp what everyone else was doing I was told "eyes forward or you'll strain your neck!!!" By the instructor.

(I know, I'm a fucking saint to still be here at this point!).

Then it came to mat work - however I didn't have a mat as I wasn't aware I needed one (as no fucker thought to tell me whilst snapping at me earlier!). So off I ran into the cupboard to grab a mat only for instructor to belt out "can we all make sure we're set up before class please!". I noticed I was getting the evils off a few regulars. Back to the floor I laid down like everyone else and was shouted at again as my feet were not in the right position! Honestly I felt an absolute twat - like the idiot that can't get anything right.

Needless to say I'm slightly put off going again next week. I also train in karate and have done on and off for 25 years - I've never come across such an unfriendly bunch!

Is this what classes are like then? Shame because I could feel it working the bits I wanted to work and once I get the coordination sorted I think I'd enjoy it but the other regulars (and snappy instructor!) have put me off!

Wow. I'm shocked at the responses in this thread, name calling - groupies, bitches, superior skinny types - seriously?

So, what actually would the complaint be? The supposed "chatty girls" wouldn't let you stand with them?

Its true that the instructor is at fault for arriving late, but you've already said she was ill and no one else could take the the class. So rather than cancel she showed up. She didn't have to do that. Everyone is allowed an off-day, surely?

This whole thing has blown way out of proportion, and a lot of pp seem to be channelling their own insecurities.

I think you had the instructor I had at Champneys in Tring. I gave up and sat it out until the end, was fed up with being picked on and bullied.

I would complain about the instructor too. She should have checked out any new people at the start of the class, asked about any physical problems ,explained what equipment needed etc. Very poor practice not to do those things at the beginning of each class.

I turned up to an aqua aerobics class once, which was at my usual gym and publicly advertised, but it turned out that the same group of older ladies went every week and knew each other well and it was extremely unusual for any 'newbies' to join them. The ladies were lovely and really welcoming - but the instructor told me flat out that they were likely to stare at me as I wasn't a regular (they didn't - she was the only one staring at me!) and then half way through the class she asked me a question, I replied, and she shouted back "I HATE people like you!". Funnily enough I didn't go again.

Cersei I got quite good at shutting down conversations that looked likely to go on, without being rude. Anyone who's a teacher might recognise this (although teachers do this a lot better than I ever could) - when you need to Get On you adopt a kind of presence: a walk, a look, a tone of voice. Various non-verbal ways of communicating that you're in charge. That tends to put an end to much of the shilly-shallying.

The 'cliques' aren't all bad. Mostly, they're just groups of people who've banded together because, as mentioned up-thread, it's hard going into a room like that on your own. It can become unpleasant for others when situations like the OP's develop, however. I never saw open hostility between class clients but if I had, I'd have tried to diffuse it quickly.

Good time management was one of the things I had drilled into me as a PT. Clients deserve it, it's one of the things that they're paying for (even if the classes are 'free', the gym membership isn't). It's a bit like counting the seconds as a client does reps - the internal metronome in your head becomes very accurate with practice.

@AllToadsLeadToHome

fed up with being picked on and bullied

I imagine you may have been ostracized, but not bullied.

To be bullied means to be hurt, frightened or tyrannized by someone bigger/stronger.

Being a bit ignored at an exercise class is not bullying.

Sounds like a horrible gym. I'm sorry for your bad experience. At my gym, the instructors would often ask or approach those new to the class and tell them what we do, ask if they have any injury and what equipment is needed. During the class, the instructor would occasionally look at the newbie to see if they are doing it right or if they are struggling and would suggest a modified move if necessary. When it comes to people who go to the class regularly, some are territorial, even if you were there first. Some would even put mats on the floor to save spots for their friends, who are not even there yet (Body Balance class). Change gym or try other classes. Cycling does not need coordination. Swim class is also good.

TeamCersei I don't mind groupies, I quite like chatting to people and a friendly face is certainly better than some clients who stare at me like they hate me every single time, and won't even reply when I say hi (but for some reason still keep coming to the class, it's puzzling, there are plenty of others available).

I have never started classes late though because someone won't keep chatting. That's very unprofessional and that's really not a groupie issue but instructor issue. It's not so hard to say that oh look at the time, we need to start now, let's continue this discussion after class. If your instructor constantly starts late, complain.

Just to be clear I wasn't hurt or upset about it, I'm not like that. I'm not there to make friends - I'm a very solitary person so am quite happy not being part of the "in crowd". I only sat near the group of people because I didn't want to draw attention to myself sitting right in the middle on my own 😂

I'm at karate tonight - male dominated classes are sooo much friendlier! The stubborn bitch in me however is planning on going back to bums and tums next week just to give them the virtual middle finger. Now I know where shit is I can at least get the beginning of the class right!

I agree with most replies here - your class mates were rude and the instructor unprofessional.
But well done you ! Now you know the score, go again and enjoy knowing how it works. The first class is always hardest but in a few weeks you'll benefit from the work.
I prob wouldn't complain - this is your leisure time - complaining can be stressful and negative for some people.
Well done again on making the move to daunting classes x

I am a David Lloyd member and I found this in a weights class. Can't remember what it was called but it was full of silly bitches like this. I stayed even though it killed me as it was my first class purely to spite them. We have a few like this in a little clique. I just smile sarcastically at them.

Yes go back and hold your own. I would complain about the instructor though. See how it pans out, could be completely different next time you go.

I was then told to move further away from this particular group who were all chatting and to find a space!!!

It's possible that it was a class that requires some personal space. I find it very irritating during body attack or body combat if someone (usually a newbie) stands too close to me as its not safe. So I probably would tell them to move but not out of spite!

@flegdling you must have been very fortunate then with your experiences. When you attend a class where the clique dictates to anyone else where they can stand i.e. 'not there, because Mary goes there,oh and not there because that's Liz's equipment'. I've seen the whole front row of a Zumba class 'booked' like this, such that you have to crush in at the back while the 'friends' swan in late into their booked spots. It is truly appalling behaviour, but not uncommon.

Personally, I blame the instructor and the gym management. They should nip this sort of behaviour in the bud. The instructor should ALWAYS ask if anyone is new and needs help.

Actually Jax no I haven't, I've had shitty classes and I find the toughest are the first few when you're a complete beginner, out of your comfort zone and it all feels impossible. Sometimes I've quit the classes entirely after one go and others I've stuck out, but at no point have I blamed others.

The experiences you've quoted are your own projection, not that of the OPs. I was responding to the OP directly, as she did ask the question on a public forum.

I agree with you that if there's any fault it lies with the instructor, but under the circumstances I'd give her class a second (illness free) go, then if she was still shitty I'd consider raising a complaint, because we are actually talking about a professionals livelihood.

What gym are you a member of? It sounds awful. Nothing like what I've experienced before...

If I had the money I'd have my own private gym. People can be very unpleasant. Obviously you should just ignore but I know its not as easy as that.

What a nasty bunch of bitches. These people have serious behavioural problems.

@thegoodnameshadgone

I found this in a weights class. Can't remember what it was called but it was full of silly bitches like this. I stayed even though it killed me as it was my first class purely to spite them.

I bet they were really gutted that you stayed....rolleyes

Well Neutrogena, they are, treating someone like this. It's not that she told them this!