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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Exercise class full of vipers! AIBU to be put off?

95 replies

OverTheHammer · 16/08/2017 13:12

I'm a member of a gym and so far have stuck to using the machines and swimming only as I know how uncoordinated I am so dare not brace the classes.

Last night I plucked up the courage to try a "legs bums and tums" class as the description made it sound rather stationary.

When I got there, other members were a bit mean to me and not at all welcoming. I always assumed the classes would be set up prior to arrival so I found a "stepper" and sat on it like everyone else was. I was then told that it belonged to someone. Ok ... so I moved to another one and was told rather abruptly that that one belonged to someone and I had to get my own. I had no idea where to get them from!! I eventually saw someone disappearing into a cupboard and returning with a stepper so I followed - got myself a stepper and then went to sit on it - I was then told to move further away from this particular group who were all chatting and to find a space!!!

Good job I'm thick skinned! So feeling like the unpopular new kid that nobody wants to talk to I found myself a space (as far away from any fucker as possible!) and sat down (waiting to be told off again!).

Finally the class started and I just couldn't keep up as my lack of coordination had me in knots. There was no guidance and when I looked to the side of me to grasp what everyone else was doing I was told "eyes forward or you'll strain your neck!!!" By the instructor.

(I know, I'm a fucking saint to still be here at this point!).

Then it came to mat work - however I didn't have a mat as I wasn't aware I needed one (as no fucker thought to tell me whilst snapping at me earlier!). So off I ran into the cupboard to grab a mat only for instructor to belt out "can we all make sure we're set up before class please!". I noticed I was getting the evils off a few regulars. Back to the floor I laid down like everyone else and was shouted at again as my feet were not in the right position! Honestly I felt an absolute twat - like the idiot that can't get anything right.

Needless to say I'm slightly put off going again next week. I also train in karate and have done on and off for 25 years - I've never come across such an unfriendly bunch!

Is this what classes are like then? Shame because I could feel it working the bits I wanted to work and once I get the coordination sorted I think I'd enjoy it but the other regulars (and snappy instructor!) have put me off!

OP posts:

Mesgegra · 16/08/2017 13:48

That sounds very 90s! I found exercise classes a bit scary in the 90s but the one I go to now, all the women are from about 35-55 and they're all so friendly.

Neutrogena · 16/08/2017 13:51

Good job I'm thick skinned! If that's the case, then next time say to someone "This is my first time at this particular class. Can you please tell me why equipment I need and give me any pointers?"

vikingprincess81 · 16/08/2017 13:51

All that said, you pay your membership and you're entitled to go to any class you please. If it's working the bits you need worked then hell yes go back - out bum tum and leg the lot of them!
Some instructors will bring newbies to the front so they can ensure you're not doing anything to hurt yourself, but usually they'll explain the exercise first and any precautions you have to take - in my spin class the instructor will be sure, every class, to make sure our bikes have enough resistance on to make sure we're safe to stand up for example. She does this verbally prior to the set, and it's a class full of regulars so we all know, but she makes sure she goes through all the safety stuff, even if there are no new people there. It's just sensible and takes 30 seconds. She doesn't snap or shout though - that's not on.

sparechange · 16/08/2017 13:53

That's terrible!
Every class I've been to, the instructor always starts by saying 'any injuries I should know about, or anyone here for the first time?'
If anyone answers yes, they go and speak to them for a few mins before the class starts

It would definitely be worth giving some feedback to the gym or instructor because it is the best way to put people off coming back

Mrscropley · 16/08/2017 13:53

You should have chopped them all to the floor!!

whatwouldrondo · 16/08/2017 13:55

It is one of the main responsibilities of an Instructor to ensure that she talks to anyone new before she starts to find out their level of fitness and experience so that she can then give the appropriate level of support and instruction to make sure they do not injure themselves. That is her job and if someone got injured as a result of them failing in that duty the gym could find themselves being sued. You need to tell the gym.

For the rest, well yes I can sort of see that sitting on a set up step could be perceived as a bit cheeky but they were cliquey bitches. It happens, whether in gym classes, the schoolgate, the office.....not nice but fact of life.

whatwouldrondo · 16/08/2017 13:57

Just seen it is David Lloyd, definitely tell them.

shortcake76 · 16/08/2017 13:58

That's awful. I go to a gym class once a week on my own and there are a few "established" groups of people, which I steer clear of and just loiter at the back! I also find it can be quite clique and I have been put off by going to other classes.

If I were you, with the attitude of the members and the instructor, I would make a complaint. Totally unreasonable behaviour and most unwelcoming. That, or try a few of your karate moves on them if they really pee you off!

sonjadog · 16/08/2017 13:58

Sounds awful, but if you think the class is for you in general, I'd keep on going. Next week, I'd make sure I was there in plenty of time, with my stuff placed right in the middle, and refuse to move. Give them something to really moan about.

sunnywithadashofgin · 16/08/2017 14:01

I had a similar experience. I went in and said to the instructor, oh I haven't exercise in about 6 months as I had a baby, plus I have never done this class before so not sure what I need etc. He looked me up and down and said "look around you and see what others have, not rocket science sweetheart." He also fat shames and picks on you if you do a movement wrong. The people love him though, weirdly. Needless to say, I avoid his class like the plaque. I would definitely complain!

rightsofwomen · 16/08/2017 14:02

I think the instructor has a duty of care to attendees and should ask if anyone is new, if anyone has any injuries or anything he/she should know about.

Definitely complain.

PlausibleSuit · 16/08/2017 14:03

This is horrible! I'm a PT. I don't work at a gym any more, but when I used to run classes, I would always, always ask if there were any new faces at the beginning of each class. After a while I'd spot them, because I'd tend to see the same people turning up week after week. Turning up to group things alone is hard and it doesn't take much effort to make new people feel welcome, and give out a few set-up instructions.

That said, gluteus, I have to say I do recognise that group! (I wonder if it's the same crowd, touring gyms one at a time). Especially "Then finish their fitness class - and go off to the cafe for a moan, latte and a muffin"

And that's the tip of the iceberg. You would not believe some of the things I've seen go on in the gym.

raviolidreaming · 16/08/2017 14:04

There's an instructor at the gym I go to who obviously encourages a clique. After I was pulled up for innocuous things - to much sniggering and scorn - I had reception write down all her classes for me so I can avoid them.

FrLukeDuke · 16/08/2017 14:05

Rise fuckers.

FledglingFTB · 16/08/2017 14:09

I really feel like you're over dramatising this tbh.

If you walk into a new class making assumptions and not asking for help then that's what you're going to get.

You could have

asked if anyone was using the equipment before taking it
asked where the equipment was stored and what you need

LBT can need a lot of room so I can understand why you were told to find more space, and your issue with other class attendee chatting is frankly lost on me

I may sound like a prick challenging you OP but I'm actually not confident myself, for each new class I make an effort to get there early and make the teacher aware. They're training 10-30 people at a time in some classes, all she did was correct your moves from what you've said.

Don't let it put you off, give it another go, these things take time.

FrLukeDuke · 16/08/2017 14:09

Rude not rise!

KatyBerry · 16/08/2017 14:12

it's an insurance risk for the instructor to fail to check for injuries, pregnancy and new starters before any class. They go through the motion before every class even if it's a group of regulars they know well, and it should be drilled into them.
You should say something
(and go back and whup their asses at the class, obv)

scrubthedeckandmakeitlookSHINY · 16/08/2017 14:16

What a bunch of cunts.

Definitely complain.

NikiBabe · 16/08/2017 14:17

Negative feed back all the way and name the instructor.

That is abysmal.

Nancy91 · 16/08/2017 14:17

They sound like bitches, put in a complaint because even if the students are horrible, the instructor shouldn't be!

Iris65 · 16/08/2017 14:18

Oh god and the one's who set up in 'their' space two hours before the class begins when I am trying to use the studio. I wait til they're gone and move it all out of the way.

Neutrogena · 16/08/2017 14:19

Join the gang, then you can do this to others and feel part of the special club.

Viviennemary · 16/08/2017 14:20

It sounds awful. Make a complaint to your gym. The instructor sounds useless as well. Years ago I once didn't even go into a class because everyone was in such posh outfits and looking glam. I went home.

LeakyLittleBoat · 16/08/2017 14:20

Cheeky to have sat on the stepper? BS. Would it have killed any of those women to have explained about the equipment and showed OP where it was instead of basically telling her to move. What a rude, ignorant bunch. I'm more concerned though about the attitude of the instructor, if not there before the class to welcome newbies and help set up, she should certainly have enquired before starting if anyone was new or a complete beginner and given them a few minutes of guidance and orientation. Definitely complain OP.

OnlineAndInStoreNow · 16/08/2017 14:23

They don't sound very friendly.

What I do when I go to any new class is to identify the instructor straight away (sometimes this is obvious but sometimes it's not apparent if they are chatting with other regulars) and go to speak to him/her and say "I'm new to this class" and explain your level (eg. I've been to a step class before but not this one; or I've never set foot in a step class).

The instructor was slack for not identifying new people but that may be understandable if instructor was new/covering.

Always go speak to the instructor before the class starts as they will give you tips. For some classes if you are new it's better to be at the front (near the instructor) for other classes it's better to be at the back (less "disruptive" or self conscious making if you can't keep up). The instructor should guide you.

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