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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm I being unreasonable in expecting my friend to replace an item I lent her?

78 replies

Redbag123 · 15/08/2017 17:54

Backstory ( I am deliberately being vague as I think she's on mumsnet)

Friend came to my house and notice item,a few days later she asks to borrow item. I lend her my perfectly working item and the next day she gives it back saying she never got the change to use it. She said she should keep it for longer in order to do what she wanted to do, she insisted I take it. All was well until Sunday 2 weeks after receiving it back I went to use said item only to find that it's not working. I suspect friend broke item and gave it back in a hurry hoping I wouldn't notice ( it's not an everyday item). How do I move forward? Ask her to replace item? Or leave it?

OP posts:
ButtHoleinOne · 15/08/2017 19:16

All the scenarios where she didn't know it had been broken don't really work as you wouldn't give it back with film and say you hadn't used it if you had but had nothing to hide

VelvetSpoon · 15/08/2017 19:17

I'd be wary of falling out with a friend by wrongly accusing them.

If it's less than a year old, why are you not trying to return it? If you try to do so and the manufacturer/ retailer says 'sorry no refund it's been dropped on the floor/ down the loo/ whatever' THEN have it out with her.

For all you know it might just have broken and not be her fault - hence try for a refund first!

eddielizzard · 15/08/2017 19:18

i would ask her casually about it.

'hey i went to use the camera yesterday and it didn't work. changed the batteries even. did you have any problems with it?'

see what she says. i also value integrity v highly and if a friend did this to me it would impact the friendship.

LIZS · 15/08/2017 19:23

Agree eddie. Something along the lines of before I return it could I just check...

MrsJamesAspey · 15/08/2017 19:23

A friend borrowed my vax, broke it and then didn't tell me, I got it fixed and then when she knew I'd used it again she then asked to borrow it again, I said no because the last person to borrow it broke it Hmm

She didn't ask again and we're not friends anymore Smile

Miserylovescompany2 · 15/08/2017 19:25

Did it come with a warranty?

lynmilne65 · 15/08/2017 19:26

What the hell is it ????Hmm

MsWanaBanana · 15/08/2017 19:29

Anyone else dying to know what the hell this thing is?

LoveDeathPrizes · 15/08/2017 19:29

You don't think that it didn't work and that was why she returned it so fast? I'd do that. I'd be too embarrassed to say, "you leant me a broken X". Wouldn't most people hold onto it for longer while they worried about what to do?

LoveDeathPrizes · 15/08/2017 19:32

Oh, sorry. Just read post about definitive proof it had been used.

Bit daft. You think she'd cover her tracks. I'd be tempted to let it go but given that she didn't even try particularly hard to cover her tracks, I'd read that as her not really giving a shit.

Original poster
Redbag123 · 15/08/2017 19:34

@Lyn read above, you don't need to be Sherlock to figure it out.
@eddie, this would deffo impact the friendship. The item was gifted to my child who is too young to use it (she knows this)

Yes, I could find the box and look for the warranty details which I'd gladly have done and told her not to worry about it had she been upfront and honest.

OP posts:
Goodasgoldilox · 15/08/2017 19:42

Well they do say that you should never lend something if you can't regard it as a gift. That way you are pleased and surprised to get it back in one piece but there is no problem if it is broken/lost/forgotten by the borrower.

Your friend has wronged you. She knows that... but hopes that you don't.

Is this enough to end the friendship? If not - you will have to take this and move on.

twobambinos · 15/08/2017 19:57

I have one of these! Sorry op no use to you.

Naxon · 15/08/2017 20:02

I don't lend now. I lent an £££ carpet cleaning machine to a friend the head of which came back cracked in two and they said they knew nothing about it - it was fine when they had it. Hmm I also lent an expensive pair of garden loppers to someone else. They kept dropping them in the open position onto cobbles below every time they moved their ladder and the blades were totally buggered after. They never said a thing.

timeisnotaline · 16/08/2017 00:52

I lent an air bed to bil. Returned wothout the valve. What exactly was I supposed to do with it now?! No apology, acknowledgement. I tried quite hard not to lend them anything after that, and I'm a bit nervous about the baby clothes I did lend.

eatabagofdicks · 16/08/2017 01:17

Yeah I don't lend things out anymore. Things always come back broken or filthy. ( well I wouldn't lend it unless I'm prepared to write the item off. ) It doesn't sound like she'll own up to it and replace it. An expensive lesson to learn I know.

Motoko · 16/08/2017 01:27

If it was gifted to your child, you shouldn't have really lent it.

I doubt the warranty will be any good, they're only for if there's a fault, not if it's been broken.

MyKingdomForBrie · 16/08/2017 01:32

If it's a Polaroid how can you tell it's been used?! I would just text saying that you're trying to get it fixed under warranty but you need to know what happened to it to answer their questions, you can see that the last picture taken was 'x' so it must have been around the time she took that shot? That way you just dodge the issue of her lying about it.

AcrossthePond55 · 16/08/2017 02:25

So it sounds like you knew there were 15 pictures left in the camera when you lent it and when she returned it there were 12 so she'd obviously used it?

I'd tell her that and that the camera is broken and just see what she says.

It doesn't sound to me as if she has much respect for you or that she values the friendship very much.

steff13 · 16/08/2017 03:53

If it's a Polaroid how can you tell it's been used?!

I think the Fuji Instax has a counter on it that shows how many pictures are left, like an old film camera used to.

ZivaDiva · 16/08/2017 04:15

My polaroid camera broke when I was the last one to use it, had worked perfectly then when I went to use it again it wouldn't work.

shouldaknownbetter · 16/08/2017 06:55

I have one of these and it did just stop working one day about seven months in. I got it replaced under the warranty. so don't assume your friend has done something to damage it!

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 16/08/2017 08:27

Wrap it up and give it to her as a present, seeing she wanted one.

Cherrytart6 · 16/08/2017 08:30

But maybe she was honest. Maybe she tried to use it and it didn't work (hence the number change) so gave it you back saying she hadn't used it (because it hadn't produced images for her)

I think you have to give her the benefit of the doubt. Has she broken things or lied to you before?

Cherrytart6 · 16/08/2017 08:33

Also dont lend anything previous.