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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I'm I being unreasonable in expecting my friend to replace an item I lent her?

78 replies

Redbag123 · 15/08/2017 17:54

Backstory ( I am deliberately being vague as I think she's on mumsnet)

Friend came to my house and notice item,a few days later she asks to borrow item. I lend her my perfectly working item and the next day she gives it back saying she never got the change to use it. She said she should keep it for longer in order to do what she wanted to do, she insisted I take it. All was well until Sunday 2 weeks after receiving it back I went to use said item only to find that it's not working. I suspect friend broke item and gave it back in a hurry hoping I wouldn't notice ( it's not an everyday item). How do I move forward? Ask her to replace item? Or leave it?

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 15/08/2017 18:27

I suppose I'd take a spontaneous reaction tone if I was confident 'hey, I've just tried x and it doesn't work! What did you do to it and don't you think you could have mentioned it?!' For the sake of the friendship I'd leave out the part where she lied about it and pretend I assumed
it was an accident but i wouldn't forget

FidgetWidget · 15/08/2017 18:28

I don't know what you should do, but I guess you'll work it out around the friendship. Every item I have ever lent has been returned broken, chipped, damaged or not working.... always to friends and not one has ever fessed up Confused Now, I just don't lend anything to anyone!

Original poster
Redbag123 · 15/08/2017 18:29

☺️☺️*@pearlypinks*: fortunately that's one of the only items I don't share!!!!

OP posts:
BabsGanoush · 15/08/2017 18:29

Could it have broken in transit - in her car (whether she knew about it or not)

Noteventhebestdrummer · 15/08/2017 18:30

If it's less than a year old is it covered by the guarantee?

Original poster
Redbag123 · 15/08/2017 18:31

@fidget: what makes it worse is that DH told me not to lend her incase she breaks it and I told not to be silly🙈

OP posts:
HotelEuphoria · 15/08/2017 18:31

On the other hand would it have broken the next time you used it or has it been overused, overheated, dropped etc? What is it?

DailyMailReadersAreThick · 15/08/2017 18:33

If this friend is an MNer, do you really think you being vague is going to stop her knowing you're talking about her?

Just tell us what it was and how you're so certain she used it!

Mivery · 15/08/2017 18:33

YANBU. Who wants a friend like that? Call her out on it and give her a chance to own up to it and replace it. Otherwise, I'd be pretty done with that person.

Original poster
Redbag123 · 15/08/2017 18:36

I'm gonna ask her out right,I kind of already know she's gonna bullshit me thinking back to how eager she was to give it back with a disclaimer about not managing to use it.
Which will piss me off because now I will know what she's really like it will make me rethink the friendship

OP posts:
peekyboo · 15/08/2017 18:37

You're going to think about it every time you look at her or speak to her!

abigailgabble · 15/08/2017 18:40

ooh let's guess the item !

it is not a vibrator then

LoniceraJaponica · 15/08/2017 18:40

How can you tell she used it?

Ilikecrocs · 15/08/2017 18:41

What size batteries does it take?
That'll help us guess the item Smile

BMW6 · 15/08/2017 18:41

You have said that you KNOW that she used it - that being so why can't you tell her how you know?
If it proves she used it she should replace it.

Original poster
Redbag123 · 15/08/2017 18:46

It's something used to snap instant images. I know it was used as film was left in the item depicting how many images were taken.

OP posts:
SandyDenny · 15/08/2017 18:48

How can you be sure that she used it when she said she didnt?

It's impossible to judge whether it could have broken in some other way without knowing what it is.

It would be a shame to sour a friendship if there's another explanation, could you not say what it is?

What needs batteries and only comes out on special occasions Grin ?

SandyDenny · 15/08/2017 18:51

Cross post, ok, so quite clear that she used it. How did she think you wouldn't know that she was lying them? I'm going to assume it's something like a Polaroid camera in which case someone might have had a similar problem.

There's not much to go wrong is there?

Original poster
Redbag123 · 15/08/2017 18:53

@Sandy correct. It's not used often as it can work out quite expensive.

OP posts:
steff13 · 15/08/2017 18:54

Does it appear damaged, or did you not know it was broken until you tried to use it? Does it have a warranty?

anyoldname76 · 15/08/2017 18:55

it should still be covered under the guarantee, just take it back, if they refuse, which they shouldnt, then take it up with your friend

chocolateworshipper · 15/08/2017 18:58

Judge Rinder!

Mittens1969 · 15/08/2017 19:00

Just a thought, is it possible someone else used the item whilst it was at this friend's house, a child for example? It's the sort of thing that could conceivably happen in our house.

In which case she may not have known the item was used.

The best thing is to ask her directly. You'll have to make up your own mind whether she's giving you a truthful answer if she denies all knowledge.

I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, probably, if she denied all knowledge, but I wouldn't lend her anything again that I didn't want to be broken.

Cherrytart6 · 15/08/2017 19:06

Maybe it stopped working before or after she used it? Sometimes these things just happen and not through misuse.

TidyDancer · 15/08/2017 19:07

Oh I would have to say something. She sounds a charmer.

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