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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask ex teachers why they give up teaching?

179 replies

malificent7 · 15/08/2017 14:53

Im hoping to leave education in order go retrain.

For me it's the workload... i dont want to work from 8am to 11pm every day.
I also hate being blamed for student's bad behaviour and being told that if my lessons were x, y ansmd z there would be perfect behaviour.
Also lack of power and toold to dicipline students with.
The realisation that working g in a pricate school was far more difficult tgan working in the state sectir ( parents expect blood/ kids over entitled )
contracts are now mostly fixed term.

I could go on!

Please share!

OP posts:
wannabestressfree · 16/08/2017 18:34

Alternative we may be interested in them. Always need new and diverse ways to teach the basics :)

Jezzifishie · 16/08/2017 18:34

I was bullied by my head of department as a slightly naive nqt. Had a mental breakdown and quit - best thing I ever did. My mental and future health was more important than the resulting financial difficulties.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 16/08/2017 18:43

Collida - it was a tree rather than a wall that I was planning to aim at.

But yes, looking back it's crazy that that seemed a better option.

Best option of all was getting out, looking back on it with a bit of hindsight. I am lucky that I was able to do so mostly intact.

ferriswheel · 16/08/2017 18:52

Omg. I'm going back soon..this thread is such a reality check.

Choccywoccyhooha · 16/08/2017 19:25

I too used to fantasise about having an accident on the way to work: jumping in front of the tube, or into the Thames, in the end I bought a load of pills from various shops on the way home from work one day and took them as soon as I got home. My husband emailed the head whilst I was in hospital,asking her to call him, explaining what had happened. She never replied, he called numerous times, but she never once returned his calls. When he took in my sick note, no one from SLT would come down to see him. It makes me sick that a year later they got Outstanding at Ofsted, including for management.

Beelzebop · 16/08/2017 19:31

Have to be honest, the mental trauma (really not exaggerated) I suffered as a teacher, hod and assistant head has left me too anxious to return to any form of teaching, tutoring, supply, alternative. And I have tried so hard! No one helps me, I have ptsd, anxiety and depression as a result of my experiences but am not considered ill enough for help. I too kept seeing a cliff on the way to work and thinking that I would at least be able to provide my family with in-service death benefits! Even going to my kids parents evening is traumatic.
I am so angry about this! A talented army of teachers have literally been traumatised and dumped by successive governments!
DAILY MAIL. PRINT THIS THREAD!

Susiethetortoiseshellcat · 16/08/2017 20:25

Can't believe others have the fantasy accident scenario. My friend and colleague and I used to get the bus together to school and often fantasise about getting run over but just enough to injure ourselves and get significant time off. I think we both realised that it was quite unhealthy and concerning!

PumbletonWakeshaft · 16/08/2017 20:36

@persiancatlady - I never had that worry to begin with as DS is only 18 months, but I have been teaching for 15 years so I think that is the least of your worries tbh! I'm sorry I can't be more positive. If you are lucky you will find yourself in a lovely, supportive school with fantastic, talented colleagues, and a Head who sticks to their own ethos no matter what Ofsted or the Government say. If you do, stay put - such schools are rare gems. Good luck.

Ecclesiastes · 16/08/2017 20:40

I remember thinking that crashing my car was probably too risky, and that throwing myself downstairs might be a better bet. Sad

Free and clean for nearly 20 years now. It's got much much worse since I left.

WhyNotDuckie · 16/08/2017 20:51

A pp said, "I can see that it isn't me that's a failure, but the system"....

That really rings true with me. I feel battered by it. However, thanks to threads like these, it does help to know I'm not the only one.

BringOnTheScience · 16/08/2017 21:41

My time off fantasy was always to get an injury to my right hand so that I couldn't hold a pen to write, so no marking.

I'm now in education outreach for a large company. I do STEM visits to primary schools and careers events at secondaries. It's perfect for me. Grin

madja · 16/08/2017 21:46

You know, I think we are made to feel we just couldn't cut it, but no. We were all good teachers chewed up and spat out.
The stories here are just Confused
To add, I didn't have the cliff fantasy that many of you did. I used to think about crashing into walls! So variety at leastGrin I think it contributed highly to finally having a breakdown about a year after finishing teaching, and my confidence has never regained it's prior levels.
Flowers for everyoneFlowers

Quiettiger · 16/08/2017 21:49

I was assaulted by a pupil and then made to apologise to her and her mother for my behaviour by the head master because apparently I hated her.

I was assaulted by a year 11 pupil hitting me over the back of the head with a lab stool in lesson 1 and expected to teach the same pupil in lesson 5. Apparently he did it because my lesson was "boring".

I was micromanaged within an inch of my life by the HOD because my methods were "unorthodox" even though I got bottom set underachieving year 11's through their GCSE's with a C pass in the roughest school in the city.

I could go on. It broke me. I almost had a breakdown, but quit and became self employed before I killed myself with stress.

chips4teaplease · 16/08/2017 21:49

I didn't have an 'accident fantasy'. My comfort was to think I would hang myself from the railings outside my upstairs classroom. But that would have given them all so much satisfaction.

chips4teaplease · 16/08/2017 21:51

I was assaulted by a pupil and then made to apologise to her and her mother for my behaviour by the head master because apparently I hated her.
Oh, I remember that kind of scenario so well.

madja · 16/08/2017 21:53

^ me too Confused

CookieDoughKid · 16/08/2017 22:08

This is all so dreadful. Is behaviour getting worse in schools? Are families not bringing up their child right and be respectful? So the kids who want to learn suffer?

DrMadelineMaxwell · 16/08/2017 22:11

Reading this thread has reminded me that I'm lucky.
Lucky that I'm working in a school with supportive colleagues, (generally) good levels of behaviour although I will have a child that I guarantee that will tell me to fuck off and insult me for the first time in 20 years and a mostly-realistic SLT. Who is the same age as me, so less likely to try and push me out as I'm expensive because he doesn't view me as 'old and out to pasture'.

I'm ruthless at managing my work-life balance and have learned what can 'give' without the students suffering or the SLT criticising what I do. I'm efficient and the school has good ICT systems in place that cut down wasted time.

I do not and will not spend time at the weekend planning and rarely work in the evenings. But I do go in earlier than other staff members and try very hard not to waste time.

I will still feel frazzled by the time we've been back for a week due to the relentless nature of the job. And can never manage to mark as in depth as is required. In reality, the verbal feedback and support I give the children as they are working is far more meaningful than anything I write so I keep it short. But am not viewed as good as other colleagues because of it.

As mentioned upthread, I have a thick skin, which also helps!

SprigofRosemary · 16/08/2017 22:12

I left teaching at Christmas for mosv of the above reasons. I now work as support staff but am not really enjoying it and need to leave the education system completely really. Can I ask what you all retrained in? Feeling stuck really.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 16/08/2017 22:13

My DD is thinking of teaching as a career. Says it's 'easy' as that's what her Dad always jokes.

I've asked her to think of the teachers she watched at the front of the class, and the way children spoke to them and then decide if that's what she wants to do in life.

And told her that it's definitely NOT easy.

DrMadelineMaxwell · 16/08/2017 22:15

I wouldn't ditch teaching and swap to be a TA. The pay in comparison is pitiful. And the workload they are being put on is just growing as there's less and less money. Most of out PPA is now delivered by TAs and not HLTAs either. They didn't go into that job ever thinking they'd end up delivering cover lessons in front of a full class. Some are great at it. Some just don't have the confidence or experience to do it. SLT don't care as they've been able to not replace the PPA teacher when they left.

AlternativeTentacle · 16/08/2017 22:21

i have gone back to what i did a decade ago, spreadsheet wrangling mainly. triple the money which helps.

leccybill · 16/08/2017 22:23

I too used to wish I could have a car crash, in fact, when one colleague did, my overriding feeling was jealousy Blush.

As it was, I went on jury duty for 3 weeks which felt like a fucking holiday to be frank - the absolute luxury of sitting on a comfy chair in a quiet room, just listening, but still using my brain - utter bliss. It gave me that bit of headspace I needed to think - and I quit teaching a few months later, before it actually killed me. I was super stressed and so anxious, I just didn't know it.

What TempsPerdu wrote massively resonated with me too: I no longer wanted to be a cog in a machine that I felt was actively damaging so many of our children.
Absolutely.

curtes · 16/08/2017 22:55

'This is all so dreadful. Is behaviour getting worse in schools? Are families not bringing up their child right and be respectful? So the kids who want to learn suffer?'

I've been in classes for 25 years now and I don't necessarily think behaviour is worse on the whole, but there are 2 things that have changed.
1- Less special schools / PRUs meaning a wider range of behaviour and educational needs in a class. (Also, in my school, less specialist support for children with additional needs in the last few years). It is almost impossible for schools to say 'this is not the right environment for this child' as there is often nowhere else. This means the system is set to fail some children who cannot cope in mainstream and it is the class teacher that is left to cope. All too often it is the school that is accused of failing the child, when it is actually the system.
2- Parents are now far more likely to excuse their children's behaviour. I know there is often a reason why your child behaved inappropriately, but that doesn't mean it's ok. This also leads to an 'it's not my fault' mentality in some children where they argue back a lot more now.

Pombearsandnaiceham · 17/08/2017 00:31

Christ, these stories are so sad. I'm so so sorry Flowers

When I was doing my PGCE last year (before I gave it up), I used to fantasise about going into a lake near where I lived and just end it all. It was fucking awful.