To ask ex teachers why they give up teaching?

[malificent7]

Im hoping to leave education in order go retrain.

For me it's the workload... i dont want to work from 8am to 11pm every day.
I also hate being blamed for student's bad behaviour and being told that if my lessons were x, y ansmd z there would be perfect behaviour.
Also lack of power and toold to dicipline students with.
The realisation that working g in a pricate school was far more difficult tgan working in the state sectir ( parents expect blood/ kids over entitled )
contracts are now mostly fixed term.

I could go on!

Please share!

I have to admit, I really miss the kids though. Loved teaching them, it was the rest that was crap.

665TheNeighbourOfTheBeast

Humiliating or embarrassing you.
Constant put-downs.
Hypercriticism.
Refusing to communicate.
Ignoring or excluding you.
Provocative behaviour
Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice.
Extreme moodiness.
Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you.
Saying things like “If you don’t , I will.”
Domination and control.
Guilt trips.
Making everything your fault.
Isolating you from friends and family.
Using money to control.

Just some of the signs of an abusive relationship that seem to fit.
Of course not all teaching jobs are like this.

I nearly left teaching after six years. I was full time and had a TLR, worked in a very stressful school with impossible workload; just before I left I had twelve classes and was meant to mark their books once a fortnight in addition to planning all my lessons in meticulous detail, overseeing a key stage and planning detailed cover for two absent teachers. It was an absolutely hideous time in my life and I cried on my way to work every single day and struggled to sleep at night. Genuinely considered driving into a wall at one point to get some time off work. At one stage I had picked out a wall - I put a lot of thought into it, scoped out one that didn't have animals in - in hindsight I should really have told my sympathetic GP this! My entire department was managed out except for me (SLT considered me good because I was basically going insane trying to meet their demands); then I had DD and wanted to go part time. They wouldn't let me, and treated me very badly when I returned, I actually had a decent discrimination case, but actually dropped it after I left because I couldn't face returning there. I ultimately resigned with nothing to go to and would have happily stacked shelves in a supermarket at that point! I was planning on a part time job outside of teaching, or at the very worst doing a couple of days supply a week until I found something outside of teaching.

Somehow (it was a really random set of circumstances that could out me) I ended up falling into a new teaching job two and a half days a week in a new school. The kids are trickier, but SLT are far more supportive, my HoD has a calm leadership style, and I don't feel that I'm constantly having to watch my back. It's not easy, but it's given me my life back, and I will never, ever, ever go back to full time teaching. I don't think I'll stay in teaching forever, but part time and the right school has made it manageable for now.

\i feel so sad reading this thread - its awful what teachers go through.

I am contemplating leaving but I am not sure how easy it is to move away from education and start in something else. For those of you that have left have you managed to establish yourself in another field? I don't mind taking a pay cut if it means I get my life back. I also worry that my age is against me with new employers

Some awful stories here.

Boney I think you have misunderstood me. I meant its not just like having an abusive relationship, because you are sandwiched between at least two different sets of unachievable demands. - Three if you include parental expectations.
Four if you include you own - and many teachers do make terrible demands upon themselves.
So I think it really is fundamentally different to an abusive relationship.

Couldn't do it any more. Couldn't even pretend.

All the reasons you said, OP, plus hatred. From them all. Pupils, colleagues, leadership. You can only fight that as long as your strength lasts. Mine ran out.

It is definitely an 'abusive relationship'.

I left because it made me physically and mentally ill, I had a huge breakdown and haven't been able to leave my house for a year and a half
And this. Except I've been going out but still unable to work.

There must be money in tutoring ? must be a lot easier too as one to one maybe? i dont know,but it must be an option for some teachers.

I would have thought a private school set up would be a bit easier ( better behaved children, more holidays, maybe a bit less pressure) but clearly not reading this thread today.
My two did go to an International school in Valencia for two years early 00s and the teachers there seemed very laid back and happy. was a primary though. It seemed a lovely little school and the boys were happy enough there. I;m glad my two have finished with schools now - it sounds horrendous what people put up with.

My private school had the worst set of kids ive ever encountered.
I had stuff thrown at me, i was filmed and had death threats.
I blame SLT who didnt do detentions or any kind of dicipline as 'our children are wonderful! 'Parents the same.
The worst perpetrator was the deputy head's son.
Said school was in the papers a year after i met as they had taught the wrong book for GCSE English!!!! Students found out in exam!! .
I taught English and my line manager was a bitch so i had a smug smile to myself!

'There must be money in tutoring ? must be a lot easier too as one to one maybe? i dont know,but it must be an option for some teachers.'

I work opposite a young male teacher and he started tutoring last year, gets £45 per hour, has 3 students, sees them weekly. He worked out there is more money to be made in tutoring than in chasing a TLR post. He is hoping to switch to part time next year and up his tutoring hours.

Just to add, that's £45 for primary tutoring. My friend is looking for a GCSE English tutor for her daughter and is being quoted £50 per hour from non teachers, and another friend is paying £60 per hour for an A level physics tutor (who does at least teach A level physics).

Did about 8 months of a PGCE and then dropped out as I couldn't cope anymore. I had the mentor from hell on my first placement who took an instant dislike to me, subtly bullied me, and managed to shred any self confidence I'd got. If the university observer came in I'd be given rave reviews and outstandings, but when the school mentor was alone, she'd rip me to pieces even though the quality of my lessons hadn't changed. She would straight out tell me that the children hadn't learnt anything and then I'd mark the books later and they'd have grasped and applied it beautifully... She would frequently undermine me in front of the kids too.
Added to that was the fact that the workload was mental and all the teachers were saying they hated the job. I'd never dropped out of anything before and my family put pressure on me to stick at it but I used to drive to school and every day think, 'If I just turned the steering wheel now, I wouldn't have to go in. It'd all be over.'
It got to the point where I'd see a lesson plan and start to have the most awful feelings of panic because of the criticism from my first mentor.

Curtes where do you live? I started tutoring last year after 17 years teaching, £60 is much higher than the going rate around here (yes even for physics).

Looking through this thread, it seems a fair few of us had the fantasy of deliberately crashing our cars on the way into work. It's awful that a job can do that to you.

One of my colleagues caught chicken pox off her dc, ended up in hospital & was subsequently signed off for 3 weeks. She was really, really ill.

Someone posted on our staffroom whatsapp group that she was a 'lucky bitch'. She replied 'I know'.

Both parties meant it.

Endo - North London, plenty of parents who go state system for primary then use tutors to get into the super selective grammars or private schools. Then parents who have opted (or had no choice) for state secondary and use tutors to plug perceived weaknesses.

Its so bleak this thread- i knew that teachers have it hard ( worked as a midday in the past so seen a little bit what goes on ) and the hours are horrendous - i can imagine that some senior managers are horrible too.
but i had no idea just how bad it was. really.
i feel so sorry for you all - wanting to end it all instead of going to work is beyond bad.
There is such a crisis in schools, but governments dont do anything! what can be done?

Am not a teacher but I'm so sorry for all of you who had to leave a career you loved and were treated so badly.

FWIW, thanks to teachers on MN, I now correct people who say things about teachers being on holiday all the time and having brilliant pensions and all that.

So many familiar stories here and in a way it's oddly reassuring as it highlights that what happened to me was absolutely part of an overall culture. The HT was a master at the art of gaslighting and I honestly thought I was going mad. It affected my mental and physical health severely. I started to suffer extreme anxiety and heart palpitations.

I left and found a job outside of teaching but it took me a long time to adjust to a culture of respect, treating you like a fellow professional and actual support and kindness. I kept expecting someone to start telling me I was crap and rip me to pieces.

SLT behave in a way that just wouldn't be tolerated in most other places. There would be at least an HR department you could report a bullying boss too. In most schools, it's a fiefdom and there is nowhere to go once you are targeted.

I am an English teacher and run an internal PRU due to the expense of sending inmates to an actual PRU....
I have had to put up with things and teach the unteachable that are horrific. I have been spat at, hit, pushed, been called every name under the son and worst of all had my painkillers for the tumour I have sprayed all over the wall (the student knows I am ill)
I have been told I have to teach her again in September as her mother refuses to move her and she is now year 11 and it would affect the data...
Basically bollocks to you.
I would go if I could.

Because if I hadn't, I would have killed myself. I loved being a teacher. I have never been more committed to a job. I worked every hour God sends and neglected my own family in the process. So many incidents of bullying and poor practice, the final straw being the terrible treatment of staff and pupils. I may return one day, but only if the terms and conditions have changed.

Just terribly, terribly sad to read these.

I wondered if I know the "wanted to crash my car on the way into work" teacher, but then I know more than one.

I loved teaching, miss the children, and the parents hugely. I'm still deeply sad I am not in the profession.

I thought I had a choice between being a good teacher and sacrificing my mental health or not caring and being terrible at my job. I was at risk of all three (MH damage, not caring and doing a terrible job) by the end.

I realised any good I was doing was in spite of SLT and the government, not because of them.

to everyone here.

I hope things improve soon... but I am out of Education for the foreseeable future

As I started our alt provision company, I designed and made hundreds of resources individual to students and groups. Eg redesigned the chance and community chest cards in monopoly to teach my students some maths. I don't know what the hell to do with them all! Jenga with letters on them to revise key concepts. Loads of sorting cards with all the key concepts and areas on them. Money with magnets stuck to the back...I have half a spare room full of them. Every time I see them I think what a waste of teenage potential.

I should ebaying them all.

Reading other ex teachers stories has actually made me feel a bit better.

I can't help but feel a failure that I can't manage to work full time in my profession without it making me ill. (I currently work part time as a supply teacher and am very picky about which schools I will go to).
I feel a failure as I will never earn a good salary, won't have a decent pension, etc. I have had to sacrifice those things in order to maintain my health and sanity.

Reading your stories makes me see that it isn't me that's the failure, but the system.

Thank you all.