Sterilisation - posting for traffic

[StewPots]

Afternoon ladies, inspired by another thread on here today, I want to ask you about sterilisation.

I've had the implant for 10 years. It's caused me no end of misery in that time - ridiculous weight gain, acne and painful sores on my face, absolutely crazy hormonal crap from total rage to sobbing at inappropriate times, to failure with my third one which led to me having to terminate. I also haven't had a period in two years but still get all the PMS symptoms but they last for 3 weeks at a time.

I absolutely hate it. But I can't take the pill due to high risk strokes and DVT in the family, plus the risk of forgetting and getting pregnant again terrifies me.

People have recommended the coil but I know there's been a lot of issues with failures and similar hormonal concerns.

So I have just rang the GP for an appointment to have a chat about sterilisation. For the record, I'm 33 (soon 34) with two DCs and am adamant I never want any more. In fact the fear of pregnancy puts me off sex and we use condoms as well as the implant to reduce the risk. I never ever want more children but then I couldn't ever go through another termination - I think about the one I had nearly everyday, I'm carrying so much guilt but I know it was the right decision at the time. I also do monthly pregnancy tests to make sure I'm not too, otherwise I just panic. If I was I'd no idea what to do - two terminations in a lifetime feels so wrong to me, but what other choice would I have?

So what are the chances of me getting a yes from the GP? Based on the criteria above, so my age, the fat I have 2 DCs and my anxiety regarding further pregnancy (I know there is a small risk of it with sterilisation - it's all I've read about for months) plus the fact I struggle with general contraception. Also had anyone actually had it done? And has it been as successful as it's meant to be?

Any thoughts much appreciated - this has been weighing on my mind for a long time, I know it's what I want but if I have to go private it's a long time to save up to me.

Thank you.

Thanks Teutonic

I was actually in my stockings and gown waiting for my op and changed my mind. No one had discussed the op with me before , Even at my pre op. I saw the surgeon on the morning and she basically scared the shit out of me. She said the failure rate is very high and that if she accidentally nicked one of my organs during the operation she would have to cut me from pubic bone to belly button. And she said my periods would be heavier. After 5 1/2 hours sat on my own waiting, I became more and more uncomfortable about it. So I got dressed, said Id changed my mind and left. I felt bad for wasting their time but if someone had taken the trouble to explain it more before hand I may not have gone for it. TBH I think the surgeon just didn't want to do it. So I still have a mirena coil which I hate. DH has offered to have a vasectomy instead which is much less invasive.

Glad you've been given the go ahead, hope it works out for you.

Funny how different areas can give such different results. At 28 and pregnant with my second child (two high risk pregnancies, nearly died delivering my first) I was approved for sterilisation even though DH already had had the snip! I didn't go through with it in the end as I was already having a c-section and worried about further complications/recovery time.

I hope the positive results lots of women report here after speaking to their GP shows we're making steps towards all of us having more freedom of choice with our contraception.

i was sterilised a few years ago. No problems at all. Im very glad I had it done. Hormonal contraception doesnt agree with me. Condoms are grim and expensive, and I didnt see the point of continuining with the coil, when what i wanted was permanent. I dont want to be ever tempted to change my mind. I did ask dp to get a vasectomy several times, but getting him to go to the doctors about anything is a lost cause. He kept saying he would, but he never did and I got fed up with waiting and arranged to get it done myself. Im glad I did.

Regarding egg donation - please do it if you want to and can. My son was the result of a donated egg! I have a genetic condition that I didn't want to pass on, hence my desire to be sterilized!

Cutes god that sounds awful sorry you had that experience.

Hopefully mine will be more hopeful but it's something I definitely want to do. Will ask about egg donation for sure though.

yes you will have pretty much the same conversation again with the consultant, then you will be put on the list. Then they aim to have you done with in 16 weeks.

Appointment with the Consultant tomorrow...and I'm pretty nervous! I'm worried I won't be able to constructively explain to them what I want without getting tongue tied and will end up shooting myself in the foot!

I was sterilised after the birth of my baby two weeks ago. I'm 29 and wasn't a problem for them. But mine was down to health reasons as I've had four c sections. Good luck.

Good luck! I was sterilised when my youngest was three weeks old. I thought I might have to argue my case but they didn't question me at all and I was so relieved when it was done.

Thanks! GP completely understood and did the referral immediately, didn't really ask much beyond my reasons (two fold, and they both rule my life!) so I'm hoping for much of the same but due to funding etc I'm also aware I may be turned down...we shall see tomorrow!

Morning all, quick update! Had my consultation, went well so received a letter this week with a date - 17th November so not long to go!

Wow,that was quick! Glad you don't have to wait long.

Glad to hear that OP, I had laparoscopic sterilisation last year aged 34, one of the best decisions I’ve made. Recovery was super quick and the only pain was from the gas leftover on the night of the op.

I need to get on with asking my GP, the pill gave me horrendous mood swings, the idea of a coil makes me want to sob, on medications that is 100% contra indicated with pregnancy and am so scared of pregnancy we’ve been using abstinence instead

Just to say I had lots of problems with side effects with implant particularly bad skin but the mirena coil was amazing! No side effects and no periods after the first six months. So if you want the extra security as well as the sterilisation it mught be worth a try.

Also I was an egg donor in my twenties. The whole process took about a month and whilst I wouldn't say it was nothing if certainly wasn't brutal! The couple I donated to went on to have twins and it is a lovely feeling to know that I helped that happen for them. Your local IVF unit should be happy to talk to you more about what's involved and you certainly won't be under any obligation to go ahead. It's a very personal decision but it's one that I have never regretted.

@Grumpbum you sound exactly like me. It's not a decision I've made rashly, but it's been on my mind since the birth of DS nearly 4 years ago.

But I'm so pleased I'm getting it done. No more awful synthetic hormones, weight gain, mood swings, acne, sickness...it's just gone on an on for years.

And yes, our sex life has definitely suffered as a result. Roll on 17th November.

@Darkstar4855 thank you. The coil was recommended but looking at my history with contraception, GP agreed that it was likely it wouldn't be plain sailing.

The egg donation information is great, thank you. It just seems a shame that something I have no desire to use would go to waste, but I also know it's a rather brutal process. I'm wondering if I can do it in a few years time once my body has settled? I will look into it. I'm very lucky to have my DC so would live to help others if I can.

@SquareWord yes I know! So quick! Went for the consultation, phone call a week letter then confirmation letter two days after that!

It's an 8am op as well so that's a bit of a bonus. Barring no issues, I'll be home resting by the afternoon.

This has been an interesting read. I'm going to ask my GP about it after this one is born. I definitely don't want any more and hints to DH about a vasectomy have been met with a hell no.

@Oysterbabe the Consultant mentioned a vasectomy but DH & I already agreed "no"...he offered but I was adamant that it wasn't going to happen. It sounds strange but if anything happened to us or me, I'd hate that he didn't have the option to have another child IYSWIM.

Sorry I should also add, DH is 26 whereas I'm 33.

See for me, me wanting the sterilisation was that if DH and I split in the future, I didn’t want to have to then think about contraception all over again!

I had mine done at the age of 28. I didn't encounter any problems from medical staff or any physical problems.

I must say I am quite nervous but I think that's really a mixture of relief and excitement. I'm hoping there's no complications and recovery is swift. No reason really for this not to be the case though.