Sterilisation - posting for traffic

[StewPots]

Afternoon ladies, inspired by another thread on here today, I want to ask you about sterilisation.

I've had the implant for 10 years. It's caused me no end of misery in that time - ridiculous weight gain, acne and painful sores on my face, absolutely crazy hormonal crap from total rage to sobbing at inappropriate times, to failure with my third one which led to me having to terminate. I also haven't had a period in two years but still get all the PMS symptoms but they last for 3 weeks at a time.

I absolutely hate it. But I can't take the pill due to high risk strokes and DVT in the family, plus the risk of forgetting and getting pregnant again terrifies me.

People have recommended the coil but I know there's been a lot of issues with failures and similar hormonal concerns.

So I have just rang the GP for an appointment to have a chat about sterilisation. For the record, I'm 33 (soon 34) with two DCs and am adamant I never want any more. In fact the fear of pregnancy puts me off sex and we use condoms as well as the implant to reduce the risk. I never ever want more children but then I couldn't ever go through another termination - I think about the one I had nearly everyday, I'm carrying so much guilt but I know it was the right decision at the time. I also do monthly pregnancy tests to make sure I'm not too, otherwise I just panic. If I was I'd no idea what to do - two terminations in a lifetime feels so wrong to me, but what other choice would I have?

So what are the chances of me getting a yes from the GP? Based on the criteria above, so my age, the fat I have 2 DCs and my anxiety regarding further pregnancy (I know there is a small risk of it with sterilisation - it's all I've read about for months) plus the fact I struggle with general contraception. Also had anyone actually had it done? And has it been as successful as it's meant to be?

Any thoughts much appreciated - this has been weighing on my mind for a long time, I know it's what I want but if I have to go private it's a long time to save up to me.

Thank you.

I was sterilised at 40 after 2 DC. I knew I didn't want anymore pregnancies or to carry anymore children. Having decided to go ahead and be sterilised I realised I would have to firmly close the door on the prospect of more children and not change my mind or hanker after babies, and move on. It's been great for me and DH. For people more inclined to be broody, maybe not so much.

Cricket I absolutely love sex but the fear of pregnancy really does take the edge off, for both me and DH so that's the other aspect. I really don't feel sexy looking bloated, spotty and greasy for 3 weeks of the month either!

Cake Luckily I'm never broody so that's going to be ok with me :) I'm absolutely 100% certain I never ever want anymore children:

Who the hell would be a woman eh? Always having to worry about getting pregnant, thrush, cystitis, periods -(sometimes heavy and painful!) having to pump chemicals into our body for contraception! Men don't know how lucky they are.

My daughter is only in her 20's, and is already royally pissed off with having to be the one dealing with the physical fallout of contraception, and she has had enough of her body - and mind - being abused!

After 8-9 years of using several birth control pills (which made her have migraines, and periods 50% of the month!) the coil, (which made her have a permanent nagging tummy ache in the area where the coil was placed,) and the contraceptive implant, (that made her gain weight and made her short tempered and have crying fits,) she said 'fuck it!' and has just not bothered using anything for the past 6 months.

She now uses a condom with her boyfriend, and avoids the most fertile time of the month when having sex.

Like I said, who'd be a woman?!

As for the OP. If you're in your 30's and have already HAD 2 kiddies, then I see no reason why you couldn't be sterilised.

Japonica Oh I'm hearing that! I'm exactly the same on the implant, no pill due to stroke/DVT risk and yes to the coil issues, everyone I know who's had one has had issues... like you say, who'd be a woman??

Bless DH..as I mentioned previously he did offer to have a vasectomy so I didn't have to go through this anymore but "No way" was my reply...he's a good soul that man :)

This post is really useful, I'm in the same boat. Currently pregnant with DS2 at 36, happy accident! Can't use coil as I ache and bleed and hormonal options are off the list due to pcos. Condoms.....well that's how I ended up pregnant again!!
I definitely don't want anymore or run the risk of falling again so I want my tubes tied.

Anyone know current waiting time time for NHS in London/SE?

Thanks

Well, today's the day I go to the GP and beg ask if I could be sterilised...really nervous but will let you all know how I get on!

In the meantime, does anyone know much about egg donation? I've been reading up on this too, figure that I'm generally in good health and won't be having any more children, so perhaps my eggs would have a use somewhere for someone?
It seems to me to be a bit selfish of me to not need my eggs and then to let them wither away when they may help people who can't have children conceive?

Any thoughts appreciated.

Good luck.
I enquired about egg donation prior to being sterilized. My GP explained the procedure which involved taking heavy doses of oestrogen for around 6 months and an uncomfortable egg extraction process. This put me off so I didn't go ahead with it.

Teutonic yes I've read that the process is pretty brutal. I may discuss with my GP if I get the go ahead for sterilisation. It sounds really basic but if I'm not going to use my eggs it seems daft of me to just let them wither when someone else may be able to use them...it's a really screwed up way of paying it forward I guess, but yes the process does sound hard going.

I didn't even see my gp, I had a phone consultation and he referred me. I was expecting someone to argue with me or say no, but nobody did. It was all pretty easy really.

And I lost loads of weight, and I wasn't even that big to start with.

Kimlo hoping in that lucky today! Yes weight is an issue with contraception - in generally fit and healthy, I do like to indulge but have a physical job so easily do 10k+ steps most days yet here I am feeling very fat and bloated!

And my breakouts are awful and embarrassing. My DD15 has better skin than I do!

you just have to keeps saying that its what you want, and have an answer to why other forms of contreception don't work for you.

I was offered the new form of sterilisation, (eruassure? something like that). Luckily I had come across that when lookong in to it and said no to that too. It sounded perfect, but there are a lot of court cases prnding due to issues people have had because it.

Kimlo Yes I've written down all my reasons so if I get a bit tongue tied I can just hand it to the GP

I'm really hoping for a good outcome on this - otherwise the only other option is saving hard but by then I'll probably be in menopause by the time I get the cash I need for the op!

Egg donation is the exact same process as the first part of ivf. Yes it's not exactly fun but I wouldn't describe it as brutal. For the majority of women it's manageable and it takes weeks not months.

Just to add TUETONIC - your gp is absolutely wrong. What stupidly incorrect information for them to give out.

Dr here.

I think you need to have a proper, in depth discussion with your Dr, as I think you don't have all the correct information regarding your options. From what you've said here, I don't think you'd be making a decision with all the facts. Some of what you have written is not based on facts (but I've no doubt it is what you've read/been told).

For instance, when you talk about "lots of failures" with the mirena and "a small risk of pregnancy" with sterilisation, I'm afraid that you are incorrect. Statistically the mirena is more than 99% effective. By comparison the failure rate for female sterilisation (tubal occlusion) is 1 in 200. So if your main anxiety is becoming pregnant, then sterilisation would not seem to be your safest option.

Yes, as with any method there are some failures and some women who don't like it/have side-effects such as irregular bleeding (though this often settles down). However, many women (myself included) have found it an effective and straightforward form of contraception. There are other options such as the injection (including a newer form where you can inject at home- subcutaneous injection) or the rod. All have a very low failure rate.

If you still decide you want a sterilisation, then speak to your GP about referral to gynaecology. They may be reluctant to carry out sterilisation given your age. Some trusts no longer offer elective sterilisation because of the relatively higher failure rate compared with other methods.

Jacks Thank you for a medical perspective.

I have read up a lot on the subject, including the NHS pages, and have sought opinions from everywhere I can think of and am aware of the failure rates of sterilisation, but on the other hand I really am tired of pumping my body with synthetic hormones to stop me becoming pregnant.

It's all a bit of a mess really. I am 100% certain on not wanting more children. Hence the termination. But the mental scars from that haunt me everyday and I couldn't do it again...the thought of being pregnant sends me into an absolute spin...

I currently have the implant in and have done for 10 years, but the side effects are absolutely awful now, each year it seems to get worse and it makes me really depressed. I was more than willing to try the coil but following stories from other women both in RL and online, the side effects sound as bad for some as the implant. And with every contraception I've ever tried (pill, mini pill, injection and implant - coil is the last one to try I think) I always have had the more extreme side effects. I'm tired of trying as stupid as that sounds yet condoms aren't exactly 100% either.

I have two things to worry about with contraception in general - failing and making me pregnant, and the side effects. Apart from fast forwarding to 20 years from now, I don't know what else I can do.

Basically this is what I've been thinking of is a permanent solution to a lot of problems.

I can't cope with the mood swings (which are very extreme and take me when I least expect it) , the constant bloated feeling despite a largely healthy diet and plenty of exercise, the breakouts, the lack of periods that has me taking pregnancy tests every few weeks, the aching in my stomach that goes on for days at a time, the weight gain, the increase in migraines, the list just goes bloody on an on.... this is stuff I've had for years not just with the implant - in fact my GP said it would help all my other symptoms settle when In fact it's made them worse and getting more severe year on year...

Gaaaahhh! I hate being a woman at times... I will just have to wait on advice from my GP.

I should add that I've had bloods done, BP, urine tests etc all absolutely fine so no indication that anything sinister is going on - I'm about a stone overweight (thanks to hormones and anti depressants) but other than that I'm fit and healthy.

Itslikerainonyourweddingday
I can only go on what I was told some 30 years back. Whether it was right or wrong back then I don't know.

Good luck with the GP, sounds like sterilisation would be a good option for you. It sounds like the coil side effects you mention are with the Mirena (which contains hormones). Sorry if you've mentioned already but you could try the copper coil? I have one and no real side effects at all (can cause heavy periods in some but mine are OK) plus zero hormones. Over 99% success in pregnancy prevention apparently. You could also track ovulation and use condoms as a double prevention for those few days if you prefer.

Don't see why not? A colleague of mine had hers done via ensure on her lunch break.

TUETONIC

30 years ago, no wonder the advice is out dated. It would maybe help if you put that in your post rather than letting people assume it was current.

Hi again all,

Well I had a surprise just now. GP called me up to save me the trip to the surgery (!!) and we had a very lengthy talk about sterilisation. Calmly read out my list but I think he could tell by my voice what I was really worried about.

Agreed implant, pill and mini pill not for me as past experiences show they are no good, and that my implant should now be removed due to it running out next week anyway. Talked about the Mirena coil but said side effects are likely to be severe for me going on past evidence so again, not viable, which I had already thought about - good to know my GP knew my thoughts exactly before I had to say anything.

He also mentioned the straight coil as no hormones but that then doesn't solve the risk factor of pregnancy. We went through how I felt about more kids, and also about the distress of the termination and the effect it had on me.

He went through the statistics, but then did say it was still a pretty rare occurance especially with new procedures, but also how it also depending on whether tubes were clamped or cut.

But he is satisfied I meet the funding criteria and seemed really positive that this would be the right choice for me - a good conversation of nearly 20 minutes, going through my thoughts and he knew right away I 100% needed a good solution to my many contraceptive problems. He is giving me a pill with the same drug as my implant to tide me over until the op and we will also continue with the condoms until then.

So...he's going to refer me. I should get a letter next week, then I make the appointment and then I guess discuss it all with a Consultant.

Sorry for the long-winded description but I want to explain stage by stage the discussion we had so maybe someone else in the same boat could pick up some idea about what happens up to the this point. On that note though, does the Consultant just go with what the GP says or do I need to also explain to them why I want this etc? I don't mind, as I say I'm 100% on this just wondering about the next stage.

That is good news StewPots. Glad that your mind is now easier. I hope that you're not waiting too long.