To want to hear your stories from customer facing jobs?

[TillyMint81]

I work in retail. Customers are for the most part lovely but there are some absolute idiots out there.
Like the one who brought back a pack of bacon because it said four slices and it had five. Or the one who complained about the oranges on Bogof because she only wanted one pack not two. and, oh, by the way, could she have the free one?
We also had a bloke who would walk round looking for low stock on the buy one get one free lines. If he found one that was down to one item he would ask if we had any in stock. If we did he would walk away but if we didn't he wanted that one for free..

I am an ex retail worker. 10 years I spent in that hell…
There was the old guy who groped me because I looked like I "needed cheering up".
The guy who shoved a metal stock trolley at me hard, pushing me over. Apparently I was "in the way". Because that justifies assault, doesn't it? Manager refused to do anything.
The guy who told me that I had ruined his child's Christmas as we were out of stock of a particular toy. It was 6pm on Christmas eve. No, its your fault for leaving it so late!
Ranty man having a moan about a picture frame. We had real trouble with people picking them up to look, then putting them back in the wrong place. This had happened with his frame.
He had a massive rant. I'm quite sure we'd have let him have it at the lower price if he hadn't totally gone off on one the moment it was rung up. Apparently he worked for the BBC so knew his rights. He was yelling this, then he said he'd call the police.
The price difference? 50p. On a frame that cost £40.
He was making physical threats by the end of it.

MrsHathaway I love that site!

Senator a little bit, but some people just want something for nothing and she was one of them.

Actually you don't have to give people the item at the lower price. It's not law at all.

As an ex tattoo and body piercing studio owner I have many many customer stories which would make you laugh/cry/boak.
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You have to tell us something now, barefoofdoctor!

When I worked in banking, a Market trader, who stall was just outside the branch would come in every month to pay his mortgage in cash. Every time he would complain about getting a paper receipt. He wanted a bank passbook so that he could see how much is mortgage was going down every month.

Every month we would explain that it was an endowment mortgage and the balance would stay the same. Every month he would call us thieves and robbers.

Every month we would explain that it was an endowment mortgage and the balance would stay the same. Every month he would call us thieves and robbers.

TBF, if the bank sold him an endowment mortgage, thieves and robbers is not completely inappropriate :)

Oh god, so many. I'll add a couple then I'll rtft.
I was a manager at a well known supermarket.
I had a man bring back 2 loaves of bread because he thought it was the wrong shape. It was too square! He threw a few slices at me to show me how wrong it was.
Or what about the lady who brought a raw chicken and brought it back. She slapped it on the counter, and proceeded to tell me how she was disgusted with us. I ask why. She looks at me, then the chicken and says it's clear this chicken has been abused. Can't you see!
I really didn't know what to say.
She flapped it's corpse around a bit longer and said look. It's been abused. It's got bruises!
I replied that I couldn't say whether it had been treated poorly, but I did admit it was dead, which I suggested was abusive in itself. She wasn't keen on that. I had to give her a refund, but we did have a giggle putting the return through the system.
Reason for refund - chicken been abused

There's too much milk in this latte.
Sorry about that, did you want an extra shot?

No, less milk.
So a smaller size.
No, just less milk.
Would you like it topped up with water?
No. No extra coffee. No extra water. Don't make it smaller. Just less milk.

These are brilliant! You have to laugh or you would cry!

MrsHathaway

The photographer story! 😭

Working first the local water and sewerage company - the man who phoned in asking for one of our teams to retrieve his false teeth that he had flushed down the toilet FROM THE SEWER! !!

So many but had one rude guy one busy Christmas as I was kneeling on the floor stacking shelf rest his coffee cup on my head whilst he browsed and was put out when asked to remove it.

Had someone Nick an entire shelf of books including the shelf when I left the stand for a minute, I was so confused

In my old job as a receptionist at a well known, lower-end-of-posh hotel, part of a worldwide chain, my encounter with Jim Davidson sticks out particularly.

He arrived as I was due to finish around 11:30pm, and proceeded to order a meal of steak and chips from reception, stinking of whisky in the process. I had the job of informing him that the kitchen closed at 11 as the chefs had gone home however we could happily make him a choice of 5 sandwiches or two other meals which could be microwaved, free of charge.

This was met with a tirade of abuse which was live tweeted by him. Including such gems as 'you'll never get anywhere in your life you silly cunt, you're here to serve me' (I was actually studying for my masters at the time) and telling my Bulgarian colleague to 'jump in the back of a lorry and fuck off back to where you came from'. He was a delight.

A later google revealed he had been kicked out of another branch of our chain for similar behaviour

@MrsHathaway that photographer story brought me to tears. Faith in humanity restored. Also not always right & not always working are hilarious

Jim Davidson kindly offered his duck to me. I said no thanks and placed my orders. There were smirks.

Dick. Was in a bar and he pushed in front.

There were no ducks involved, at any time.

I used to manage a bunch of folk that dealt with complaints about the railway. Obviously we had specialist skills in nutcase management.

• Bloke deliberately wrecked a ticket machine at a station then called the police to complain that the machine wasn't working. Police didn't take any action so he phoned us up pretending to be the Secretary of State for Transport complaining that the police weren't taking him seriously. I suggested he speak to "his officials" so he asked for the number. Unfortunately for him the number I gave him was the bloke who looked after the British Transport Police and between us we had him lifted before he was off the phone.

• Two people travelling together wrote us identical letters about the journey, word for word. We sent them identical responses and they complained because somehow they felt that identical questions should receive different answers.

• Woman phoned us up because she'd been waiting for four hours at Charing Cross station in London for a train to Bromley South. We pointed out that these trains go from Victoria and perhaps if she didn't want to bother with the timetable she could ask one of the station staff perhaps. Alternatively she could get the 1209 Orpington and change at Grove Park for Bromley North.

• Bloke was absolutely obsessed with the idea that train conductors were molesting "innocent young women" on a certain line in East Anglia. No evidence whatsoever, just about 200 ranty letters alleging the same total bollocks. A file about six inches thick full of this shite, just for him. So one day I phoned the number at the top of one of his letters and he shat himself. Never heard from again.

• Woman thought having my phone number entitled her to a free return journey from London to Bridgend, about 250 miles. Called me all the names under the sun when it was pointed out that this was not a charity and even if it were you would get zero help if you spoke to us like that.

• Idiot complained that passports were not being inspected when the train crossed the border. No, Eurostar enquiries to the Department of Transport sir. No, not that border. What border? The one just past Carlisle.

• Complaint from a bloke who commuted from a good way away into London. Service shit late rotten trains etc etc. Wrote to his MP. MP sent it to the Secretary of State for Transport. Secretary of State sent it to us asking us to draft a reply (normal process we get about 100 of these a month). We look at the letter to the MP and find that the author is sitting in our own office answering letters about railway complaints which MPs have received from their constituents which he has been doing for the last seven years. We made him answer his own letter.

The abused chicken made me actually snort

I work in a call centre and for a while we had a very angry woman with a very strong accent calling daily, refusing to attempt to go through any security, when we did get any details out of her, she had no accounts with any part of the company at all. Once we recognised her and realised it was pointless to try to engage we would just let her rant until she gave up.

I regularly have people who apparently think "sugar" starts with an f and "delta" starts with a p I don't expect you to know the phonetic alphabet, but I expect you to be able to answer a yes or no question about the first letter of a word! Surely if your postcode has easily misunderstood letters in it (mine does), you expect to have this question?

I had a woman once who announced she hated the phonetic alphabet after having spent all her working life using it, and could I please use something different. Ummm well if you want to actually get the correct reference, I need to use some sort of phonetic alphabet or we'll be here all day debating B or P or T or D and I'm not making you up a special one all of your own.

your lot make my lot look tame!
I once had a customer step back into my (very loud) cage that I was dragging along the shop floor.
He banged his head on it and called me a stupid fucking bitch.
My manager wanted him chucked out. Deputy store manager wanted to wait and see if he did it again!

Two people travelling together wrote us identical letters about the journey, word for word. We sent them identical responses and they complained because somehow they felt that identical questions should receive different answers.

That is brilliant!

I just signed up and was hoping for a thread like this! Retail worker here for a mobile phone network. Sadly I'm worried about posting because I still work there and this is a public forum. I do have some funny customers most days and I swear it's them that keep me going back lol! The milder ones include:

a man come in once with an electric shaver, wanted us to display his contacts on it?!

We also had a customer stand in our doorway and tell people trying to come in not to bother because we were effing useless!
And I once had a customer berate me for a good 15 minutes about how thick and worthless I am because I work in a shop. I can't even remember why she was angry but I went home and cried.

I've also had been threatened with being sued personally, not the company, me! All because I referred them to customer services. I genuinely couldn't help them any further.

Used to get told all the time how nice it was to be served by a local person for once, it was meant as a compliment but it made me feel awkward as I got on very well with many of my foreign colleagues.

Ugh, that reminds me of the time I worked in a theatre box office for a summer.

One day a woman came in to collect her tickets and said 'I've been told that this is where I collect my tickets? But the girl on the phone was foreign so I don't know'.

I assured her that yes, this was where you collected the tickets.

She then repeated again 'yes, the girl was foreign, you know. I don't think she she what she was talking about'.

I just said 'um yes, well my colleague is Italian so it will have been her that you spoke to... and she sent you to the right place. This is where you collect the tickets.'

I have no idea what she wanted me to say. 'Yeah, you're right, foreigners are shit' I guess?

When I worked in a cafe we had a woman return a sandwich because it tasted of fish. It was a tuna sandwich.

I used to work in a now closed sports shop from 16-21. So many stories.

One Saturday I got punched in the face by a old man who was trying to walk out of the shop with a v. expensive ski jacket. Manager called police who took him away. Next day a man came in from the local 'secure' dementia unit laughing that we 'had a lovely visit from one of their residents', he was less smiley when manager showed him my bruised face and kicked him out.

We started selling Durex Gold condoms which were a top seller particularly on a Saturday when the drunk men would come in after watching football and make lots of lewd comments to me about them being too small for them and did I offer a fitting service.

One creepy guy would come in once a month to buy a football and would ask to watch me use the hand held speed pump to make sure I was 'inflating it right'. It wasn't until my manager walked past one time that we found out he was standing behind the till with his dick out rubbing it.

And the idiot who thought it was funny to shake the 7foot ladder I was standing at the top of getting a baseball bat down making me fall to the ground.

I also worked on a market stall when I was younger, selling cakes and all sorts of yummy baked goods. I didn't make them, I was just employed by the bakery to work on the stall.

Without fail, every single week someone would come up to my stall and tell me that I was ripping people off and that my prices were ridiculous because they could make the same thing at home for a fraction of that price.

OK, but... that's not how it works, is it? You're not making them at home, you're buying them from me. The bakery is hardly going to sell them to you at cost price, is it?

I would usually just smile sweetly and say something like 'oh that's lovely, you must be a great baker' and then swear at their backs as they walked away, usually muttering about me having a licence to print money or something along those lines