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AIBU?

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Original poster

Accused of damaging holiday home - AIBU

37 replies

bigsnugglebunny · 14/08/2017 23:24

We have just spent a week in a friend's holiday caravan, we paid the going rate (not mates rates) and a £50 damages deposit.

The van is absolutely lovely, we stayed earlier this year for a weekend too. It's set up as "autism friendly" and as our son has autism, it has been a lovely calm week.

We left the van exactly as we found it, and stripped beds, made sure it was clean and tidy so they could check in the next family quickly.

While we were staying there however, we discovered an open box of toiletries under the bed in the children's room - it contained hair dyes, razor blades, hair straighteners etc. Luckily our son hadn't had these, so we put the box in the master bedroom wardrobe, and I intended to mention it to my friend when she's back from her holiday abroad.

I received this message, this evening from her family member who is meant to be cleaning and looking after the van while she is away:

"Hello, my name is xxx and I am xxx's (random family member). She is away right now so I am looking after the caravan while she is away.
Thank you for leaving money (we left the remaining balance in an envelope for her) but there has been some damage done, a tear in the kitchen vinyl and large stains on the living area carpet and stool. Xxx will contact you on Friday when she is home."

There were no stains, and there was definitely no tear in the vinyl while we were there. We left it absolutely as it was. So I have no idea what to say or do now really. I have written a reply, but I don't want to send it in case I'm being hot headed.

This is my reply so far:

"Hi, thank you for your message.

Do you have photos of this alleged damage, because when we checked our we saw nothing amiss, and as far as we could see it was as it had been when we arrived. We certainly would have noticed if we had ripped the vinyl.

Having discussed with my partner, we wholeheartedly dispute the claim of damage, and as this is our second stay in as many weeks, we actually take offence at it because for a second time we made sure that the beds were stripped, toilets bleached, carpets hoovered, plenty of loo roll left for future guests and the van left as we found it. Including our unused and undated entertainment passes for the next guests.

I will be speaking to xx when she is home anyway about the box containing razors, hair dye and other hazardous items that was left under the bed in the children's room. This potential danger was missed by whoever was cleaning the caravan. That box is in the master bedroom wardrobe now, out of harms way."

I haven't got anything else. Am at a bit of a loss.

AIBU to have no idea what to do now? I'm anxious anyway, so this has set me off worrying if I missed these things when we left. What should I do?

OP posts:
TheSnowFairy · 14/08/2017 23:29

I think that's a good answer. How odd, I wonder how it got damaged though - not saying it is you but surely not the cleaner either?

Theimpossiblegirl · 14/08/2017 23:35

Your reply sounds very reasonable. I wonder if the person cleaning it is using it when it's not booked out. Maybe your friend isn't aware of this.
Not a lot you can do other than send the reply, copying your friend in on it and waiting until she gets back.

JessieMcJessie · 14/08/2017 23:35

I'd keep it simple and just send the first paragraph. The other issues are not relevant to the alleged damage and you sound too defensive by going on about them. Either they'll insist about the damage or it will turn out to be a misunderstanding. If they insist then you can "turn up the heat" with your other points.

LanaDReye · 14/08/2017 23:38

Yes good reply. I would be annoyed too.

JessieMcJessie · 14/08/2017 23:39

If you go with your suggested answer she'll probably get very wary and refuse to send any pics. If you are brief and polite then you're more likely to get the pics to see if you can work out what's going on. And since this is a friend's can surely you can discuss amicably with your friend when back?

Ellisandra · 14/08/2017 23:43

I think your reply is too long.
The stuff about the box is accusatory and defensive - and actually sounds like you have created the damage and are trying to get out of it tit for tat!
I'm sure you're not, but it comes across that way.
I also think the nice stuff you do re entertainment passes and loo rolls is irrelevant too, sorry - you doing that doesn't mean you can't create damage by accident!

I also think the semi legalese bit about disputing claims is potentially aggressive.

Does this person know you have a personal connection?

I would reply something much shorter and friendly "thanks for letting me know, I am surprised as we checked it over first and we're always extra careful because X is a friend! I can't picture what you mean at all - can you please send me photos and I'll chat to X about it next week? Thanks!"

mummymeister · 14/08/2017 23:43

i would keep it really simple:

" Hi, I was surprised to receive your e mail about the damage to the caravan as we left it how we found it - with no damage. can you send me some pictures of it please. I can then discuss it with xx further when she returns"

if you get any sort of confrontational speech out then they will immediately go on the defensive. we had this once in a house we hired for a holiday. it was the cleaning lady who did it and after much toing and froing with letter writing she admitted it and we didn't lose our damage deposit.

do you have any internal photos your selves at all?

Ellisandra · 14/08/2017 23:46

Just re-read your post... first paragraph is good, but I really wouldn't say "alleged damage". It will does sound like agressive / defensive faux legalese to me and would instantly make me wary!

Just a friendly comment that you don't know what she means and please send photos will do at this stage.

BritInUS1 · 14/08/2017 23:49

I'd go with what Mummymeister said, much less confrontational x

Ellisandra · 14/08/2017 23:50

Another thing... and reason not to get into a fight Smile

You say she's covering whilst family member is away - has she done so before? It's quite a responsibility.
She may have been understandably zealous in checking, and the damage could exist and be acceptable to your friend.

For example, vinyl tear could be under a cooker overhang and neither you or friend have looked there at eye level (just brushed it from a height). A large stain could be a water mark or discolouration in fabric that neither you nor the friend/owner see as an issue. Not dirty, just used condition.

It might explain why the family member has found damage that you can't explain?

Witchend · 14/08/2017 23:52

I agree with the others. The paragraph about the box sounds basically as if you're saying "don't tell on me and I won't tell on you".

I'd just reply and say you'll talk to your friend, but you don't believe you did any damage while you were there.

Original poster
bigsnugglebunny · 14/08/2017 23:56

Ah thanks, I appreciate the advice - I am quite good friends with the caravan owner, yes. I don't know her family member at all.

So I will keep it short and sweet, and non defensive.

I think I'm just a bit upset, as I have no idea how the damage (if it's there) occurred. We came home last night, but returned to the van to check out properly this morning (we don't live very far from it) and obviously gave it a once-over this morning, making sure everything was tidy because I knew that a new family were renting it this afternoon. So I made sure that the family member doing the cleaning wouldn't have much to do (because it's my friends van etc)

OP posts:
OlennasWimple · 14/08/2017 23:57

mummymeister's draft is good. You could add in a "just to let you know, we found a box of toiletries under the bed in the child's room - we put them in the master bedroom wardrobe so that they were out of reach" and see what she says about that

mummymeister · 15/08/2017 00:00

I would save the bit about the unsafe box of toiletries for when she replies. you need to take the tit for tat out of it and deflate what is being said.

you know you didn't do any damage. you are certain of it.
good luck Op I hope it all gets sorted out.

Original poster
bigsnugglebunny · 15/08/2017 00:10

Thank you, I've sent a bit of a mixture of mummymeister and Ellisandra's responses.

I put:

"Hi, thank you for letting me know. I am very surprised as we checked it over and left it as we found it. We are always extra careful because xxx is a friend. (This is our second stay)

I can't picture what you mean at all, please could you send me some photographs and I'll have a chat with xx about it next week? Thank you."

I think you might be right, perhaps the family member is being a bit over zealous and the stains, rip etc are things that were already there and we hadn't even noticed. It's not a brand new carpet, it's clean enough - but definitely been walked on!

I'm grateful for the advice, it's good to have a fresh perspective on things

OP posts:
AndTodayIAm · 15/08/2017 00:16

That's a good response.

Ellisandra · 15/08/2017 00:19

"Clean enough"
When I was posting, I was picturing my own carpet which is fine, but just... isn't brand new Wink
I expect the family member is just trying to do it all properly.
Try not to be anxious over it!

PancakesAteTheChildren · 15/08/2017 00:29

Good response!

blankface · 15/08/2017 00:36

Next time, please photograph everything as you leave, make sure it has a date and time stamp on it, it saves all this hassle.

Fingers crossed the "damage" is tiny, normal wear and tear and your friends the owners won't be bothered at all.

Cherrytart6 · 15/08/2017 00:38

Well done

Sparklepants · 15/08/2017 00:56

I would tell them about the box incase a child finds it.

ToesInWater · 15/08/2017 10:13

I always take extensive photos of any holiday lets on leaving to avoid any issues but I appreciate that's not much use to you now! I think the ideas for non accusatory responses above are the way to go. Hope it all gets sorted.

Original poster
bigsnugglebunny · 15/08/2017 14:03

Small update,

She sent a photo of a small v shaped cut in the Lino which is over by the waste paper bin in the kitchen. I know we didn't do it, but I can't say for sure I would have noticed it being there when we got there because if the size of it. (It's pretty small, looks like it's from furniture or similar being shifted.)
Had we brought suitcases with us, I would maybe suspect that - but we brought our things in bags for life.

There are no photos of the stains, but apparently it is to the left of the table and it is the carpet and stool. The problem I have with that, is that we tucked the table away and put the stools in that position when we left. The whole time we were there, the table was pulled out so we could fit around it, and the stools were over the other side - so for the stool and floor to be stained in the same place, it would have had to have happened after we put the table and stools away neatly. Have been given no details of what the stain is, what colour or if any cleaning was attempted. My suspicions are that something was spilled during the cleaning to be honest, but we are a convenient scapegoat.

I have asked if we can go and inspect the damage on Friday when the current guests check out, with a view to comparing it to some of the pics I have of while we were there. Sadly I don't have a photo of that spot of Lino, but I have some dining table shots.

I mentioned the toiletries, in more of a "just in case you were wondering where they were" kind if way. And she said she knew it was under the kids beds but thought it was toys! So if she can miss a box load of razors under a child's bed, she might well have missed the Lino previously too.

I have remained polite and non defensive, as previously advised. Lesson learned though, will take extensive photos in future.

OP posts:
AlmostAJillSandwich · 15/08/2017 14:14

This is why my dad inspects stuff like rental cars and takes pics of all damage he finds when the keys are handed over. It stops people putting blame on you for previous damage to be able to whip out a phone with pics with time and date stamps showing that it was already there. Has saved him froma few car hire companies trying to claim repair money for pre existing damage!

Wouldnt be practical to photograph every area of a caravan etc on arrival and departure though.

LIZS · 15/08/2017 14:21

You need to edit the reply so that you come across as less passive aggressive and affronted. Just query evidence of the damage and mention the box.

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