To shout 'Who's peed on the seat?!' when my twelve year old has friend's over?!

[questsabelletreetop]

He is very cross with me

You're being very reasonable! Tell him to clean it up and see how it likes it.

Meant to say has his friend's over!

No apostrophe in either variation of your title

Surely it wasn't on purpose?

Eugh.

I find that embarrassing them like that is the one thing that will make them clean up after themselves.

I'm assuming that this is a toilet seat and not an upholstered chair?

He should be embarrassed. It's rude and disgusting.

I think that's pretty humiliating for a 12 year old (whether its a guest that's peed or your own ds). I don't blame him for being cross.

How would you feel if visiting a friend's house and the host demanded to know who hadn't flushed properly?

Better to talk your ds privately after the friends have gone.

yabu and shaming

YABU for shaming and embarrassing them (and for thinking it's ok)

Would you do it to an adult? If not, then don't do it to a child. Why not speak to them seriously but quietly if it is an on going problem?

Hmm I do yell that regularly but never when DS has company. I would address that when his friends are gone, although he's unlikely to raise the issue with his mates separately and the phantom pisser is unlikely to admit to it, so I don't know what the answer is. In my house it's always DS, who likes going to the loo with no lights on.

I'd shout it when it was just family, but no I would definitely not shame my child in front of their friends

YANBU

If someone has peed on the seat, they've peed on the seat. If he's embarrassed he should have cleaned it up. Someone could have sat in it. He shouldn't expect people to cover for him being a slob

I am with you. At 12 they should know better. They won't do it again....oh, yes they will. They should learn IMO.

To be honest I wasn't shaming him, no thought went into it. I just shouted in exasperation when I went into the loo and saw it there AGAIN! I have live in a house with three boys (not including DH) and it drives me up the wall!

No, I don't think you should have done that. That's mortifying for a 12 year old!

YABVU

Of course it's disgusting and a 12 year old should know better, but it's also mortifying for your mum to shout something like that when you have friends over. I feel very sorry for your poor son.

i'd do it to an adult - if you have peed on the bloody seat, then clean it the fuck up!

YANBU, if they don't want to be shamed they can behave.

Yea...don't do that. It's so unnecessary.

And yes, I would do it to adults, in fact I did it to a builders team and asked them to clean it.

At least you realised before you sat down

At least you realised before you sat down

This time I did anyway

I don't think yabu 12 is well old enough to wipe pee off the seat. But then it pisses me off in general how many people don't do this. Hopefully it embarrassed friend enough that he will remember to wipe for the rest of his life