To change DPs Facebook password?

[Icklepickle101]

I found out yesterday DP has been messaging another woman, she knows I know and admitted it. I stayed at my mums last night and we've agreed to talk about what happens now tonight. I think we will probably end up splitting up and I'm terrified the impact it will have on poor DS (1) won't understand why daddy isn't at home as much. Anyway before this chat I want to know the full facts and I want to read he messages again (I skim read in 20 seconds yesterday)

Would I be unreasonable to change DPs password to read the messages before he gets home in about 15 minutes?

He might say you shouldn't have looked at the messages, but if you're in a monogamous relationship, they shouldn't have been there. Arguing about you invading his privacy won't do him any good now.

Just tell him what you know and demand answers

Wasn't your relationship about to end anyway?

Whether you tried to reset his password or not?

*Wasn't your relationship about to end anyway?

Whether you tried to reset his password or not?*

This.

Just dump his sorry arse.

Holding your hand.

You tried to log into my phone!! You: you were in a relationship we have a child and you were trying it on with other women!!! Fuck that why should I trust you!!!

OP instead of trying to change his password to read the messages, you need to speak to him instead, tell him how you're feeling.

Hope you're ok OP Let us know how you get on!

He's taken DS to bed. We've talked (to be continued) and both cried a lot I'm willing to forgive him but there are fundamental things we need to change if things are going to work. He says he's fallen out of love with me which he told me a few weeks ago. We've had a really tough few years with infertility, buying and renovating a house we really couldn't afford so living in a half done shell, money problems. It's all taken it's toll and we've made no time for us and I've made less than zero effort with myself (PND) so it's understandably how he doesn't 'fancy me' anymore. He's got a talking therapies appointment for tomorrow for a lot of underlying issues so I'm hoping we can take baby steps and see where it goes.

He says he's fallen out of love with me which he told me a few weeks ago

Why would you still want to make it work with him?

Hang on, never EVER tell a man you forgive him when he's telling you he doesn't love you.

Gather your self-respect, OP and dump him. If it's going to work out in the future, it starts with him being desperate for him.

Because I still love him

Maybe you do but you just set the bar really low in respect of what is acceptable in your relationship

And he knows that you still love him so he is going to continue taking advantage, you have already found out that he has been messaging women on FB, who says that he is not out there sleeping with other women?

He admitted he doesn't love or fancy you.
He has cheated on you when you have a child together, instead of support you through your pnd. You have bought a house together and he does this.
He can't be trusted.
Get some self respect and leave him for your sake and your child's sake.
He will only do it again, take the advice on here.

Just because you love him, it doesn't mean you have to tell him.

Just because you love him, it doesn't mean you should love yourself less.

Oh, Icklepickle, you've just given him the right to act anyway he pleases

You've HAD a difficult time, a time when support and understanding was required - you got neither - what you did get is "YOU MADE ME DO THIS, IT'S YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU LET YOURSELF GO"

He's twisted his infidelity back onto you, he's manipulated a situation and made himself the victim.

Evidently - his version of "love" is a very superficial one based on your appearance.

He won't change, he'll just bring you down further until you are greatful for any leftover crumb he tosses your way...

After lots of talking and tears I made the choice to leave him last night. We still live together until we sorry out permanent arrangements but I am absolutely heartbroken. I still love him a lot but he doesn't love me and I don't make him happy. This is so so tough

You've done the right thing OP.
I know it hurts like hell right now - understatement of the year I know,
But youll be better off for this decision.

My advice - as I did in your shoes, is throw yourself into sorting out the practicalities. It worked for me. So cab/benefits/council etc if relevant today.

You deserve to be with someone who loves you, as hard as this is, he is being honest and you have done the right thing splitting.

Urgh what a scum bag

op

You deserve to be with someone who loves you and respects your relationship. None of the excuses are fair, he's a shit and it's not your fault. Keep your head held high

You will look back when you're in a happier place and be so glad you left him. Just hold on to that thought

Urgh, what an utter prick. He has treated you despicably at a time when you needed his love and support. None of this is your fault - please remember that.

I agree with a pp about throwing yourself into the practicalities. Also, if you really must remain under the same roof for now, at least set a date for that set-up to change (i.e. he moves out by X) because living together won't do you any favours. The sooner you can sort out alternative living arrangements, the better.