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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my daughter in a forward facing car seat before she's 15 months?

197 replies

LoveItWhenYouCall · 14/08/2017 13:42

So my daughter will be 15 months at the end of this month. A few days before she is "officially" 15 months, we will be doing a long distance car journey (around 9 hours). We will be staying at the location for 3 weeks and then be doing the long journey home.

She only just fits her current car seat and really needs to be moving into the bigger one but it's forward facing.

What should I do? Should I squeeze her into her smaller car seat and have her use that the full 3 weeks we are away and then for the journey back down? Or should I just put her in the more comfortable seat as she'll turn 15 months 3 days after we arrive?

Please help!

OP posts:
Heatherbell1978 · 14/08/2017 14:30

I put my son forward facing when he was 12 months (he met height and weight requirements) and nearly everyone I know did, I see more kids over 12 months forward facing than rear facing if I'm honest. For us, my son had become unbearable in the car and was starting to get travel sick (which I suffer terribly from too). He was much much happier facing forward.

Hulababy · 14/08/2017 14:31

To be fair, its only in more recent years that RF has been pushed more in the UK and the seats become more widely available.

When dd was younger is was a first stage to about 9 months and then FF. And the vast majority of these children were perfectly safe and fine.

It is now recommended to RF til 4. My nephew has a RF seat - just tuned 4y - and they are only juts considering going FF.

But you are not a bad mum. Lots of people use FF seats for their toddlers. Whilst RF is safer, that doesn't mean that FF is not safe.

alarox · 14/08/2017 14:34

"I say this as a doctor that has seen an infant with internal decapitation."

Totally agree with all of welshweasel's posts. Please please keep her rear facing as long as you possibly can. My toddler can be tricky with it sometimes but it's non-negotiable (like brushing teeth) and as someone upthread said, we use mirrors and tablet holders to see/occupy him. He has to sit cross-legged or with legs splayed/stretched up, but it's better like that should the worst happen. I regularly see the aftermath of car accidents in my job. The injuries are always minor rear facing. Usually devastating forward facing Sad and some of the more serious accidents have been at night.

Hulababy · 14/08/2017 14:35

Your current seat says its okay to use until 13kg. I will also be dependent on where her head comes to on the back of the seat though. If her head is level with or above the top of the seat back, she is too tall for it.

Original poster
LoveItWhenYouCall · 14/08/2017 14:36

hula it is the height that is becoming an issue and I'm worried if I take her in the smaller seat that she could outgrow it during our trip Confused

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 14/08/2017 14:38

Rear facing seats are much safer in the case of a serious car accident. Fortunately such accidents are very eare. Both my children get car sick and hated rear facing and were moved to forward facing for a year. No way was i having them throwing up and miserable for years juzt do they were a teeny bit safer.

Hulababy · 14/08/2017 14:40

Also if travelling at night and little one is likely to sleep - the Cosatto won't recline as much as the stage 0+ so she may actually be more comfortable in current one.

Hulababy · 14/08/2017 14:41

How long are you away?
Is she already level with the seat back?

DoubleCarrick · 14/08/2017 14:41

On a side note, your 15 month old weighs the same as my 7 month old, OP Grin

Don't feel guilt. Make the best decision you can. Incidentally, we've just bought the Joie stages. Which comes with an isofix base included for £250

sparklewater · 14/08/2017 14:41

loveit When you say height is becoming an issue can you clarify?

Original poster
LoveItWhenYouCall · 14/08/2017 14:42

Her head is right up next to the top. We're away for 3 weeks.

OP posts:
Threenme · 14/08/2017 14:45

I did not even know they did rear facing car seats for children that oldConfused mine were both huge and and one went in front facing from 11 month the other from 9. They were both heavy/ big enough and the car seat was from 9mth to 4 yrs. I never even thought about it!

manglethedangle · 14/08/2017 14:45

LoveIt

Put DD in the carseat, fasten her in and pull her legs down so the buckle strap is really pressed up against her nappy.

THEN,

take a large hard back book (like a kids book or recipe book) and put it across the top of the carseat when she is in it. If you can fit a finger between her head and the book she won't out grow it on a three week trip.

SquedgieBeckenheim · 14/08/2017 14:46

My DD is 3 and still rear facing, it's far safer. Can the bigger seat not rear face at all? A lot do now have the option to rear face till 18kg, or forward face from 9kg. (We do long journeys too and DD is happy rear facing as it's all she knows)

Threenme · 14/08/2017 14:49

Genuine question- how do they fit and where do there legs go?

LouBlue1507 · 14/08/2017 14:50

Only on MN have I ever heard of chn being rear facing up until 4yo. I've never met anyone or ever seen a child more than about 18 months rear facing!

Lostbeyondwords · 14/08/2017 14:51

I've had to google 4year olds in rf car seats! Unheard of (to me) when my dc were small.
Mine were both rf until about 16months or so, till they reached the rf height/weight recommendations for the seats we had, then ff ever since. I cannot imagine even a three year old rf.

Do what you want OP, guidelines are only to guide you and they're good to follow where you can but sometimes your situation calls for something different. I hope you have a lovely trip whichever you decide.

Lostbeyondwords · 14/08/2017 14:51

Threenme google it, they look ridiculous imo

Funnyface1 · 14/08/2017 14:52

My dd is just coming up to 12 months and is very petite, only just reaching 16lbs. We've been carseat shopping recently and none of them have mentioned the recommended weight or age for ff, just showed me what is 'suitable' from 9 months. I feel really stupid and upset that I didn't know.

BocaDeTrucha · 14/08/2017 14:54

I agree, benefits like being able to chat etc do not override the safety benefits of rear facing. DS was rear facing until he was about 3.5 years. He didn't know any different so had no issues with it.

Threenme · 14/08/2017 14:56

They look hugely uncomfortable lost I've honestly never seen one before, and I've never seen anyone use them irl! if I'm honest I think I'll be doing same again when I think youngest is ready to move up. I can't imagine sitting like that is very nice even if it's safer.

manglethedangle · 14/08/2017 14:57

A lot of questions, including:

"where do they put their legs" and "but they are more expensive"

can be answered here:

erfmission.com/frequently-asked-questions/

welshweasel · 14/08/2017 14:58

three I think you're projecting a bit there. Sitting in that position wouldn't be comfortable for an adult but kids are built differently. A lot actually find it more comfortable because their legs dangle down when forward facing which can give them pins and needles.

Pickleypickles · 14/08/2017 14:58

only on mumsnet could people make a car seat sound like a child murdering device. Yes rear facing is slighty safer as the head is better supported but forward facing is not dangerous.

KatharinaRosalie · 14/08/2017 15:00

My 4-year old is very tall, wearing 6-y clothes, and he is very comfortable in his ERF seat. Has never complained (and he whines about everything, so not like he's just a very placid child).

In Sweden the advice is that an ERF seat is only outgrown when the top of the ears reaches the top of the seat.