Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To put my daughter in a forward facing car seat before she's 15 months?

197 replies

LoveItWhenYouCall · 14/08/2017 13:42

So my daughter will be 15 months at the end of this month. A few days before she is "officially" 15 months, we will be doing a long distance car journey (around 9 hours). We will be staying at the location for 3 weeks and then be doing the long journey home.

She only just fits her current car seat and really needs to be moving into the bigger one but it's forward facing.

What should I do? Should I squeeze her into her smaller car seat and have her use that the full 3 weeks we are away and then for the journey back down? Or should I just put her in the more comfortable seat as she'll turn 15 months 3 days after we arrive?

Please help!

OP posts:
Orangebird69 · 14/08/2017 14:09

My ds is 50th for weight but has been off the centiles for length since 5mo... No way on earth head be able to rf til 7yo 😂😂

Original poster
LoveItWhenYouCall · 14/08/2017 14:10

I'm really gutted now because I didn't realise how dangerous these forward facing car seats are. I thought I had a good one Sad my only worry was whether to move her the few days before she turns 15 months but now I feel like a failure for not having one of these rearward ones. Like I'm risking my daughters life by using it.

OP posts:
manglethedangle · 14/08/2017 14:11

Meh, if you are intent on ff her anyway then a few weeks isn't going to make a difference.

Personally I wouldn't. I'm keeping DS rear facing as long as possible.

If this thread has in anyway made you think about rear facing DD for longer, then the Joie tilt is £75 from argos and rear facing to 18kg, so you don't need to fork out a lot.

MeanAger · 14/08/2017 14:12

Just carry on using the one she is in until she reaches the weight limit and then sell the one you have and buy a RF one for when she is ready to switch over.

FuzzyOwl · 14/08/2017 14:12

YABU. The current law states under 15 months a child must be rear facing. It isn't designed to inconvenience parents but to save the child's life. I would keep my child rear facing for as long as possible.

happygirly1 · 14/08/2017 14:13

I've not long moved my DD to a car seat the next size up, but specifically chose a rear-facing one that will do for a few years. I did a lot of research first and personally felt like it was the best decision for us to keep her rear-facing as long as possible.

From what I read when researching, I'd probably advise anyone asking my opinion on which seat to buy to go for a rear-facing seat.

But that's not what you're asking (preamble was for context)!

From what I can gather, your ONLY two options are either a rear-facing seat that is too small or a seat that will be more comfortable but is front facing. Your DS cannot stay in the small seat forever, so if you can't afford to buy a bigger rear-facing, I'd say to put him in the bigger FF seat for the holiday.

Hope this is helpful! Smile

Rkd808 · 14/08/2017 14:13

I think the question is are you considering replacing your ff seat with an erf seat? If not then it makes no real difference if you switch her now or later, if you happen to have an accident them she's at great risk (which has been pointed out multiple times).
If your trip is to France or some other European countries then the rules are different so you may want to check them.

Orangebird69 · 14/08/2017 14:14

OP, please don't feel guilty. If FF was so dangerous it wouldn't be illegal. Yes, rf is safer. That doesn't make FF fatal or dangerous.

NorthernLurker · 14/08/2017 14:14

Your forward facing seat is not dangerous.

In all honesty the safety of a seat depends on the accident you're in. Most of us won't ever be in a serious accident. If we are, our cars are also designed to protect us. Children require more protection and to be stabilised In their seat in the same way a seat belt helps to protect adults. If your child is in a seat which is in good condition and is fitted properly and you aren't driving drunk, tired or under the influence of drugs then you are doing fine.

manglethedangle · 14/08/2017 14:16

OrangeBird69 we also have the two way elite, it's huge and loads of leg room when rearfacing. Also pretty cheap at £169 if bought from Finland (including shipping). And it has no height limit! Just a weight limit.

Orangebird69 · 14/08/2017 14:19

mangle, it's not so much about height with my ds, it's leg length! How on earth is a 6/7 year old supposed to cross their legs comfortably for any length of time rear racing?

manglethedangle · 14/08/2017 14:19

And the carseat you have isn't too small until her head is above the top of the shell (when her nappy is pushing against the buckle as much as possible - pull her legs to achieve this) or she has reached the weight limit, though some babies do start to look a bit squashed if they are broad shouldered.

welshweasel · 14/08/2017 14:22

fuzzy it's only illegal if using an isize seat. The seat the OP has bought is weight based and is legal from 9kg so not an issue.

northern yes internal decapitation is rare, I'm not disputing that. I was a junior A&E doctor, years before I had kids myself, but it's not something I've ever forgotten.

Funnyface1 · 14/08/2017 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

welshweasel · 14/08/2017 14:23

orange kids sir quite happily with their legs folded for hours, or they rest them up on the seat back in front of them. Adults perceive that kids won't like it but in my experience the kids aren't that fussed. The main reason I've heard for kids wanting to turn FF is that their friends doz

KatharinaRosalie · 14/08/2017 14:24

Orangebird I have Axkif Minikid that will fit a child up to 125 cm - that's 50th percentile for a 7.5-year old.

Original poster
LoveItWhenYouCall · 14/08/2017 14:25

Exactly funnyface how did I not realise these risks. Granted, I didn't go out to buy this car seat but I'm a mum and I feel like if this is such a massive safety issue, why is this not being shoved down our throats the way so many others are?

OP posts:
welshweasel · 14/08/2017 14:26

funny because they are badly informed and more interested in their profits than the safety of your children. Sadly. It used to be very difficult to get hold of rear facing seats and none of the high street stores sold them. That's changing, slowly, but the majority of seats that those shops sell are FF seats. If they told you the statistics when you went to buy a new seat, you'd never buy a FF one!

number1wang · 14/08/2017 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

welshweasel · 14/08/2017 14:26

Mothercare also sell cot bumpers and baby walkers. Just because something is sold, doesn't mean it's safe.

bumpertobumper · 14/08/2017 14:28

I find that this subject is the biggest difference between real life and mumsnet world...
Everyone on here is obsessed with extended rf and does it until their kids leave home.
In real life I know one family who extended rf, everyone else turning their kids around the time that OP is planning on.
This is something I muse on so do look at passing traffic and still rarely see non babies rear facing.
OP, you are getting a very biased response here, we all take risks every moment of every day, just make the judgements you feel comfortable with and do what works for you.

Witsender · 14/08/2017 14:28

Just stick with the old seat until she grows out of it for this trip, have yourself some breathing and thinking room.

My 7 yr old is tall and can rf comfortably, sometimes she does for fun. 😂

ItsNachoCheese · 14/08/2017 14:29

My ds was ff in my dm's car once he outgrew his 1st car seat as an erf seat couldnt fit in the car she had at the time

manglethedangle · 14/08/2017 14:29

orange when I had my niece, who is 6 and tall my sister forgot to leave her car seat with us for us to take her home (150mile journey) so I put her in it and my son in the one from DHs car. She was fine. She crossed her legs, didn't moan, but did think it was funny going backwards.

funnyface rear facing is 5 times safer that forward facing, but forward facing is still safer than no car seat! Mothercare are there to make money so they sell what people want.

What I don't understand is parents who either don't do any research in to the safety product they are buying or don't want to rear face their kid because "they can't see anything".

welshweasel · 14/08/2017 14:30

I disagree bumper, plenty of my friends keep their kids rear facing and 6 out of 8 of my NCT group have.