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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want dh to STFU about 'health'?

46 replies

NormaDesmondsEyebrows · 13/08/2017 14:31

Uuuurgh. He's on a health kick. It's very admirable. But he's trying to make me be more healthy and he's getting on my tits.

I had cheesy chips for tea last night and he sat there making pained faces at me. He tuts every time I go for a smoke. And now he's trying to convince me to go out for a walk with him. I'm quite happy lounging in my pyjamas watching Stargate, thanks. It's Sunday ffs.

He has a gym set up in the garage and is always suggesting I use it. We've also got a cross trainer that sits in the corner of the room silently judging me.

Apparently my diet of coffee, chips and fags isn't good enough and I should eat more veg and exercise regularly. Tbf in term time I walk between 4-6 miles a day but it's the holidays so I've done a lot less.

I don't WANT to go on a health drive. I'm fine as I am. And his badgering is just making me want to shovel cake in my mouth.

AIBU? Can I kill him?

OP posts:

Lenl · 13/08/2017 14:37

Perhaps you and this poster need to switch partners
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3004847-To-have-come-to-the-conclusion-that-DH-and-I-are-very-different-people

Whocansay · 13/08/2017 14:42

Maybe he's worried about you? From what you've written you could be storing up a load of health problem for later life.

MarmaladeIsMyJam · 13/08/2017 14:43

I'd be worried about you too.

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 13/08/2017 14:45

I'd worry about you too. Sorry.

GinIsIn · 13/08/2017 14:45

This is a reverse, right? If not, not sure there's any point killing him when the diet of chips and fags will probably finish you off soon anyway....

NicolasFlamel · 13/08/2017 14:46

If I was your partner I would be worried about you too. Is he doing the health kick thing in the hopes you will join in rather than just telling you outright that he's worried? You're fine now but fags and coffee wont keep you fine forever.

Writerwannabe83 · 13/08/2017 14:46

I sympathise!!!

My DH is on a health kick and he's constantly making little digs about what I eat.

He's always saying things like

"There's less calories in my whole dinner than that sausage you're eating"

"There's less calories in my whole lunch than that bag of crisps you're eating"

"How's your gross fatty lunch?" - usually said as he's tucking into a bowl of soup whilst I dare eat some pasta carbonara.

I'm like FUCK OFF!!!!

IbexToDiffer · 13/08/2017 14:47

You prob should eat more healthily and excersize to be honest. But it had to come from you, it's unlikely to be because he bangs on about it.

MrsMozart · 13/08/2017 14:47

I'd think it nice that he was worried about me...

IbexToDiffer · 13/08/2017 14:49

I just mean OP would have to come to her own conclusion that being unfit and eating a poor diet all the time is hardly a great plan for the future.

Original poster

NormaDesmondsEyebrows · 13/08/2017 14:49

Honestly, fags aside, I'm pretty healthy. I'm a decent weight, I walk loads, I'm in pretty good nick.

But I do like to eat what I like and if I don't fancy dinner I'll often just have cereal or a bowl of chips. Dh is very much a three meals a day type and I'm not.

OP posts:

YellowLawn · 13/08/2017 14:49

your diet and activity level sound very unhealthy.
so get out of your pj's and go for a walk.

Mychildcouldnotbreaatfeed · 13/08/2017 14:49

You're going to shred me.

You post a lot about your DH and how nothing he is doing makes you happy. The bloke is busting his bollocks and you are drinking and smoking and eating shite and complaining in here every week or two.

You name change but your posts are very recognisable.

Very gently can I suggest you go and see someone to get more support for your issues.

This isn't helpful - you need a different sort of support than MN can provide

I mean the above very kindly.

Original poster

NormaDesmondsEyebrows · 13/08/2017 14:52

I absolutely do not post complaining about dh, other than lightheartedly (as this obviously is). He makes me extremely happy so I'm not at all sure what you are on about.

OP posts:

IbexToDiffer · 13/08/2017 14:54

4-6 miles in a day just from walking about isn't really a great activity level though!

And I detest organised excersize (like classes) but I force myself to do it because it's rubbish to be unfit. You might be able to get away with it if you're young but that won't last.

Fairylea · 13/08/2017 14:58

Having seen the results of long term smoking on my mum who now has chronic copd I really, really wish everyone would stop smoking. It's easy not to care when you're young and it hasn't started to affect your lungs but even if you're lucky enough not to get lung cancer, over time your lung function does decrease and you can end up with copd leaving you effectively choking to death unable to breathe and dependent on strong inhalers and ventilators.

Sorry I know that's cheery but after seeing my mum suffer I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Stopping smoking really is the single best thing anyone can do for their health.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 13/08/2017 15:02

Your choice completely what you put in your body, and what exercise you do or dont do. Passive agressive and down right bitchy comments from him are not on. If he wants to go on a health kick good for him and good luck with it, but it doesnt give him the right to pressure you to do the same or make negative comments about your choices.

If hes "worried about your health" like pp suggestions he should outright just say it, and sensitively. But he should absolutely accept your decision if youre happy as you are and dont want to make changes. Either he accepts you as you are or he can fuck off

notanurse2017 · 13/08/2017 15:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OnionKnight · 13/08/2017 15:07

I think he has a point TBH.

IbexToDiffer · 13/08/2017 15:09

If you set out to do a brisk power walk for 4-6 miles that gets your heart rate up it's good yes! But steps that just build up from going about day (while moving around is positive obviously) isn't 'excersize' because you're not 'working' your body IYSWIM.

IbexToDiffer · 13/08/2017 15:09

Also 10,000 is really just the minimum someone should aim for.

Mysteriouscurle · 13/08/2017 15:14

Doesnt matter if hes right or not. Cant bloody stand sanctimonious "I'm healthier than you" people. Some people take life far too seriously. Something is going to kill you anyway. I dont want to live so long that i spend years in a nursing home with dementia slowly losing all my faculties. I dont smoke though

Mysteriouscurle · 13/08/2017 15:15

Posted too soon. He gets to choose HIS lifestyle. Not YOURS. Maybe dont kill him but def tell him to STFU

Original poster

NormaDesmondsEyebrows · 13/08/2017 15:15

It is two good long walks, school run and then on into the village with the dog.

Anyway, I don't think I'm that bad. And it is all very jovial teasing. He is super fit and healthy which is great, obviously, but it's not my bag.

OP posts:

Whiterabbitears · 13/08/2017 15:34

I suspect what is annoying you OP is that he hasn't always been healthy so is suddenly starting judging you, there's nothing worse than the converted. This health kick may not last either so when he's back to eating chips that will be even more annoying!

He doesnt have a right to dictate to you what you eat and if you feel you're healthy then carry on as you are, there's nothing worse than a ' health bore'

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