To think I have been lumbered with a man child?

[CreamCakePls]

Plan today was sort out the kitchen cupboards and dp and dd go food shopping while I go to work at 1pm.

All morning I've said to dp to write a shopping list and gave him some meal ideas, he won't do it and says he won't know what to get in there and will be stressed,

We go to sort out the cupboards I asked what he was throwing and he kicks off saying you do it all then, so I was left half trying to get ready for work, make a shopping list for dumbass and clear all the kitchen cupboards! Am I being unreasonable here?

How hard is it. I feel stressed and so pissed off at having to do everything, before I left he was sat on his arse on the sofa, I feel like I have loads to do, bring washing in off the line/hang more out, general house work and he doesn't have the thought in his mind to just think, oh I'll grab the washing of the line and hang some back out. He'd happily walk past rubbish. I'm shattered I work nights too and just feel like I've had enough.

It annoys me if he's decided he doesn't want to do any housework that he can't even get dd sorted and take her to the park or something!

I needed that rant.

@OP - Oh, I see - I just thought of food cupboards! given the bit about shopping.

Yes, I have drawers of that too..

Sorry to hear latest post.

You said everything is in your name, so I'd have thought he has no right to stay. Where did he live before?

It's in my name, and he does. But he won't go, would it be a case of getting the locks changed while he's not here? I cringe at the thought of him coming back and him kicking off though

If it's in your sole name, tell him he's got an hour to pack his stuff and leave or you're calling the police. He doesn't have a leg to stand on.

If he kicks off, call the police.

The house is in your name. I would leave his stuff outside and change the locks.

Comes back and kicks off I mean.

Oh bless you OP you're only 23? A child with him doesn't mean you have to stay with him and it doesn't sound like there's any real reason you'd want to! What does he bring to the table? Would you cope with child and your job?

It sounds like he's no support and a total waste of space! He also can't have an adult discussion and instead says 'fuck you' to a perfectly legitimate expression of how you feel.

If I rang the police would they actually take it seriously? Because I'd only be calling them to remove him and they might think he's not doing anything wrong, an he'll say he lives here an has done for x years, which he has but the house is in my name.

I think maybe leaving his stuff outside when he's not here would be the best bet so we aren't arguing infront of dd. And closing curtains when he turns up🙈.

After that I'll get the whole seeing dd etc and I'm worried if he came round to pick her up he'd get in the house and do something, a while ago I said about packing his stuff an he said if I touched any of his clothes he'd set all mine on fire.

Go with changing the locks. If he wanted to stay while he gathered some money he should be pulling even a little bit of weight - he can't have it all ways. If he kicks off call the police. Pretend it's a stranger and dial. (actually it's worse because someone who knows you is far more likely to be dangerous)

Does he realise you're serious about him leaving? If it were me I'd give him a deadline and tell him if he hadn't left I would ring the police by this time/day.

What would the police do? Just tell him to leave? He's now saying how I'm horrible etc etc, apparently I'm taking how I'm feeling all out on him. I said yes I do feel like shit, but you are also being a dick. He's adamant he isn't.

I hate it when he refuses to leave. But last year he happily left for 6 months I stupidly got back with him, he strung me a long for 6 months putting off getting back together. A few weeks after getting back together I went on his phone and seen he'd been messaging girls on tinder when we split calling me a psycho! Writing all this down I'm actually thinking to myself WTF were you thinking!

Are you afraid of him? He's threatened to burn your clothes and swears at you which is threatening behaviour.

Have you tried the Women's Aid helpline? Sounds like you could do with some help to get free of this utter arse of a man.

Yes, but you're on to him now, so make sure he leaves.

Do you have any friends/family that can come around and tell him to leave as well? Any big blokes? And also call the police. If he's told you to fuck off, then that's harassment.

Wow, things have progressed.

Now instead of dealing with messy cupboards, you have finances, housing, solicitors, divorce, contact, step parents to deal with.

It all seems a big high drama. Mumsnet posters won't remember this in a months time, this is your life forever.

Wouldn't it be easier to give yourself a break then when you feel better try to sort out your marriage?

The police would remove him because the house is in your sole name, he has no legal right to be there. If he's made threats in the past I'd go down that route tbh.

Yes NY but seriously, could you live with this? My dh is still here because I've said this kind of thing is unacceptable, and he got that. Ops dh doesn't have a clue that he actually should pull his weight, he fundamentally thinks she is the housekeeper secretary dogsbody and chef for their relationship . If he won't change then a sensible woman should get the hell out.

It's not just a case of could you live with this, it's also a case of why the fuck should you. A marriage/relationship should be a partnership, not one where one person is doing everything, while being threatened and sworn at. Not a hope in hell I think OP (or anyone) should have to live like that.
I've got a mouth like a navvy but it's extremely rare that I'd actually swear AT someone. In 6 years I have never once sworn at DP, nor has he at me. It would be a deal breaker for both of us. Respect is a basic component of a relationship.

So, he is demanding to stay in the house, your house, and that you continue to do all his work on top of your own?
I think he needs a time out. Out of your house, like the man child he is.