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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be super pissed off

66 replies

Confused95 · 13/08/2017 10:17

Yesterday i was guilted into watching a friends child 7yr old. She said it would be a hour or two when it was five. I have two small children of my own. Ds 3 and dd 1 this child kept taking my childrens toys from them and saying they wont share, he only wanted they toys they had. My ds has a fav toy its a power ranger he always has and hardly ever leaves down but since yesterday we can find it. Iv tore the house and garden apart. I can go buy the same one no problem today and ds will be happy but iv a strange feeling that boy took it as he kept lifting it away from ds. No point saying to his mum shes one of them my child is perfect and dose no wrong parents. Now when she collected her ds she implayed that il be watching him again as in her words she works and i dont as im a stay at home mum. Aibu if i just say f**k no pay a childminder and teach him some manners and not to steal. She said come school starting again il be able to get him from school and such. Hes not a plesent child. She tells him daily hes better than other children and he can do as he wants cause she says so. Shes not very plesent herself. Likes to talk down about others and tells people how to live their lives

OP posts:
donquixotedelamancha · 13/08/2017 14:32

"According to her being a single mum of two small children isnt work."

Mine are 1 and 3 and it's hard enough with two of us. Single mum to two little ones is definitely work. I wouldn't babysit another with my two, certainly not a brat with rude parents.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 13/08/2017 14:35

There are two things that must be sorted as soon as possible - getting back the toy for your DS and telling this other mother that you are not available for any sort of childcare.

A text along the lines "Hi Mary - can you check to see if Adam has accidentally taken home X's Power Ranger toy as we've searched high and low for it here and can't find it. I know he was very taken with it when he was over yesterday so just want to rule out any other places it may be. Perhaps Adam might know where it is, if he's hidden it somewhere, can you ask him please? X didn't get to sleep last night as he was missing his toy. "
(names changed obviously)

Then if and when she responds you can follow up with "Oh, I also wanted to let you know that it will not be possible for me to look after Adam. It doesn't work for us". No other explanation will be necessary.

RebootYourEngine · 13/08/2017 14:37

Her ds sounds charming. NOT.

I would text about the toy and not looking after him.

WhatchaMaCalllit · 15/08/2017 19:52

@Confused95 - Any updates? Did you send the text you were thinking of sending?

SophieGiroux · 15/09/2017 23:42

@Confused95?

Confused95 · 18/09/2017 00:08

Hi sorry its taken so long. Before i text she text me saying she would let me know her shifts and would inform the school i would be collecting her ds. I wrote back and just said i wont be doing it as im not a child minder and I dont want to become one if she wants to keep working she needs to sort a childminder out. She didnt write back and hasnt spoke to me since not that i care. Have found out she asked another girl to mind him once and he stole her dc toy and was also very cheeky and she also tried to force this girl into free childminding.

OP posts:
bunningsbunny · 18/09/2017 00:30

If she's that cheeky and her ds has previously pinched a toy from a similar situation then I'd definitely be asking her to drop the toy back and saying that you think her ds must have taken it.

If she then tries again to get you to mind him, you can just say that you can't believe that she is asking you to do that when she knows that her son stole took your son's favourite toy and she hasn't bothered to return it. There's no way you'd consider letting him back in the house when he was so badly behaved, treated your own dc so badly and you would worry about what else would go missing or be damaged.

It might work if she is desperate - she might bring it back thinking that that would be the way to get you to do more. Of course at that point you just get to reiterate that there's no way you would consider letting him back in the house when he was so badly behaved etc... Either way, hopefully you will never have her trouble you again - and you might just get the power ranger back...

MadamePomfrey · 18/09/2017 00:40

Sounds like the friendship is over! You have made it clear you won't be looking after her ds again which is good! You can text again to ask about the toy but my bet is you will be ignored! Personally I would text to ask if it got caught up in the child's things, I wouldn't expect a reply but it's not going to hurt to ask. I would then block her number and move on if she chats shit to people let her if they believe her they aren't friends of yours! And if she's as cheeky as you say they will soon learn the truth!

notangelinajolie · 18/09/2017 01:08

Hell no don't do it, she will expect it all the time and before you know it you will be her school holiday free childminding service. Bloody cheek! SAHM myself and I have been asked to look after/pick up from school/take to school etc and I always helped friends when they are stuck but I have politely said no to anything more than that. If she asks again tell her you'd never considered a career in childminding and would prefer to just parent your own children.

PyongyangKipperbang · 18/09/2017 01:42

Bullet well and truly dodged there!

You only have to read AIBU to see the number of women who get sucked into these arrangements by cheeky fuckers and then struggle to end them. Good for you that you stood up ot her straight away.

The fact that you havent heard a peep since you told her to jog on proves that she was never a friend to you, she just saw you as someone she could use.

viques · 18/09/2017 01:45

I think you have seen the last of the toy, unless the little horror hid it in your house somewhere, but I think it is a small price to pay for dodging the bullet that being guilted into minding her child would have been.

well done for your text, but a warning, be prepared for the tearful "I'm desperate" phone calls, don't make excuses, don't say sorry, just say no.

JWrecks · 18/09/2017 01:51

WOW that is a LOT of cheek, to just assume you'll be doing her free child minding. You do not need that kind of person in your life!

FenceSitter01 · 18/09/2017 07:04

"Ghost" her. Don't answer the phone, door or reply to texts. Nod and keep walking in the playground should you pass her. It really isn't difficult.

KC225 · 18/09/2017 07:22

I cannot believe the nerve of these people. I am glad you text her 'no'. Her none resppnse proves her none friendship. A true friend would have text back and apologised for overstepping the mark and saying 'I hope this won't spoil things'. Your conscience is clear. I would write off the toy and buy yourself a new one. It's not worth the hassle of contacting her

emmyrose2000 · 18/09/2017 07:45

Holy crap, she's rude and entitled.

Good on you for telling her 'no'!

SunnyCoco · 18/09/2017 08:21

Well done you!
You have done the right thing, well done for being clear and saying no.

I would probably just buy a new toy and put it all behind you now.
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