Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to disagree that i'm being "petty" for parking here?

39 replies

YetAnotherBloodyNewUsername · 12/08/2017 20:07

Basically:

I live in a block of flats on a main road. High crime area (lots of car thefts and car vandalism - which is why my insurance is sky high).

I passed my test a few months ago. I've lived here for over five years. In this whole street, there is just one lay by which is right outside my balcony; big enough for three cars.Although anybody in the street can use this (no restrictions on it whatsoever), it's always been occupied by the same three neighbours. All three neighbours live in my block and have lived here the longest. Therefore, i think they have an ingrained sense of entitlement to park here.

The rest of us just park alongside the pavements, tucked in to the kerbs as closely as we can.

Wednesday morning, i went out to find my wing mirror knocked off. Not surprising. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later with the sheer speed some cars fly through this street at.

I did not claim on my insurance as I really want to get my 1 years no claims discount at the end of this policy or my premium will never come down.

Anyway, two of these neighbours are retired and don't go out much so their cars are pretty much stationary in the lay by. The third neighbour, however, doesn't get back from work until about 10.30pm.

I get home from work around 6pm. So i, and everybody else, park on the main road despite there always being a space in this lay by while neighbour number 3 is at work. I think we've all just convinced ourselves that this lay by is 'theirs' despite it not being theirs at all.

Last night, i picked DD up from my mum's and brought them to mine for dinner. My mum commented on how daft it was me parking on the main road again after just getting my mirror fixed when there's a space in the lay by. So i parked in it.

I felt totally nervous as if I was stealing something but i parked in it anyway. It's been there since (mum got a taxi home and i've not been out today).

Neighbour number three has just knocked and asked if I'm going out today. I knew right away why he wanted to know (he's barely said two words to me since i moved in despite him living right above me). I simply said no and he asked very politely if i could move my car back to it's normal position. He was barely able to sleep last night as he wasn't able to see his car from his window (our balconies overlook the lay-by) and it''s a new car.

I said that mine was new too (not factory new, but new to me!) and i didn't want to go and get me and dd ready and go out in the rain just to move my car. He offered to move it for me! I said no. Tried to make a joke that my car's a right mess and he wouldn't want to sit on crumbs and mint wrappers etc.

So then his niceness stopped and he outright said "look, please move your car. I don't understand why you're suddenly being so petty."

I was a bit shaken up at this point as i cannot stand confrontation and this guy is pretty much a stranger to me as we've never had a conversation before. I told him that i'll likely be going out tomorrow so i'll park elsewhere then. He then starts asking me what time i'm going out and what time my shifts at work are during the week. Like an idiot, i told him. No idea why. felt very intimidated. He seemed to make a mental note of it, wished me a rather abrupt good night then went back up to his own flat.

I feel like a total idiot. 1. for being so shaky over what was basically just a chat with a neighbour. and 2. for not standing up for myself a bit more.

Now that he's gone, i'm sudden;y feeling very petty indeed. Trying to think of where we can go to tomorrow locally without the car. I'll just order my shop to get delivered instead of going to get it in person.

I also feel guilty. He's been parking there for over 5 years. Except from the odd occasion, when the spots have been taken by visitors or taxis, all three neighbours have pretty much parked there every night.

Anyway, i'm not quite sure what to do now. As soon as i go out in the car, he''l move his car back to the lay-by. But i'm home from work before him during the week so i'm going to feel like a right doormat if i leave it vacant for him.

Urgh. i feel so awkward now. He genuinely seemed so hurt and confused at my 'pettiness' there.

OP posts:
NoFucksImAQueen · 12/08/2017 20:10

It's petty to lay claim to a space on the road that doesn't even belong to him. He's being ridiculous

PastysPrincess · 12/08/2017 20:11

If theres room, park in it, if theres no room, park elsewhere. As long as you are legally parked it's his tough luck. I wouldn't give it another thought.

PovertyJetset · 12/08/2017 20:13

He was being petty and entitled and he should do one!

Papafran · 12/08/2017 20:14

What a nasty bully. Did you tell him that is not his space and that anyone can park there? If he wants his own private parking space, I suggest he buys one from somewhere.

greendale17 · 12/08/2017 20:17

He is trying to bully you. That is not his parking space and you are entitled to park there just like everyone else.

If he continues to harass you, report it to 101

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 12/08/2017 20:17

I'm amazed that everyone leaves "his" spot empty!
I think if someone is being petty, it's not you

Batoutahell · 12/08/2017 20:18

You are in the right. Be brave OP. Park there when it's free, don't when it's not.

Ilovefraybentos · 12/08/2017 20:20

I don't think you're being petty. In your situation though, I couldn't be bothered with opening that can of worms and potential harassment for the sake of a parking spot that he is appparently obsessed with.

StillDrivingMeBonkers · 12/08/2017 20:20

He might have an anxiety - but it's not your problem to resolve. Just don't let it escalate

YetAnotherBloodyNewUsername · 12/08/2017 20:22

Thanks. He's a very quiet guy who keeps himself to himself (totally amazing neighbour compared to my downstairs one!) so i don't think he was trying to bully me. He genuinely seemed upset that his car was out of view from his flat's windows. But mine is out of view every night. I think i've just upset the routine a bit.

You've made me feel less guilty though, so thanks. Smile

OP posts:
RainbowJack · 12/08/2017 20:22
Hmm Are you getting help for your anxiety? That level is not normal for what was just a conversation.

Park in the lay-by and stop answering the door to him. If he approaches you outside, answer monosyllabically as possible and walk away.

thenightsky · 12/08/2017 20:23

I would have asked him why he didn't ask one of the other 2 retired neighbours to move their cars. They don't have to drag toddlers out with them so much easier and quicker.

museumum · 12/08/2017 20:25

You're not being petty. He is. If it's empty park in it. If it's not. Don't worry. Don't change your routine.

Plan a response for next time along the lines of "yes, isn't it a pity there's not room for all of us, we'll just have to share it equally. there's no point it sitting empty, if it's free when any one of us returns then that person should park there.

Batoutahell · 12/08/2017 20:27

Rainbow I disagree. The conversation was clearly uncomfortable and I'm not surprised she's left feeling a bit off. The neighbour has basically chastised her, nobody likes that feeling even if they know they are in the right. Just because she's too polite or kind to say fuck off (and empathises that he is used to using that spot for 5 yrs, rightly or wrongly) or to not give a shit doesn't Medan she suffers from anxiety. Your remark sounded like you were trying to make her feel small.

EllaHen · 12/08/2017 20:27

I'm another who is surprised that all your other neighbours leave his spot empty, especially since he gets home at 10.30pm.

RainbowJack - what an unhelpful post. A man the op does not know questioned her, accused her of being petty and wanted to know her work patterns. Not a pleasant experience. Please don't add to it by making her feel her reaction was not a normal one.

That's really annoyed me. Jeez.

Lenl · 12/08/2017 20:28

I would have felt the same as you. You're not being petty, he is. However as previously said I'd probably just park on the street to avoid the stress of confrontation.

I've had issues with a neighbour in a flat before that just escalated and escalated and now there's very little inconvenience I couldn't stand in order to avoid bad relations with neighbours. It's not worth feeling nervous every time you come home imo.

EllaHen · 12/08/2017 20:29

And even if she does suffer from anxiety - how is it your fucking business?

DobbyLovesSocks · 12/08/2017 20:30

Difficult one OP. You are perfectly entitled to park there it's just so happened that he has been able to park there for so long. I think you need to weigh up the cost of repairing your car when it gets damaged against the hassle of an irate neighbour who finds 'his' space taken most nights. I'd do the latter but then I'm bloody-minded Wink

BTW, if you do have to park on the road, tuck your wing mirrors in so less likely to get damaged.

I had this problem - so I moved to a house with a driveway. No one can lay claim to a parking space unless allocated to someone/property by powers that be (council, HA, land registry etc)

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/08/2017 20:33

I'd be tempted to leave a note on his car saying you've had a think about it and whilst you can understand his disappointment at having to share you're going to have to park in the best available space every time you come home.

dadshere · 12/08/2017 20:40

Do not move your car- if he says anything, politely tell him that you have parked your car in a legal space. If he gets abusive/threatening tell him that you find his tone to be unpleasent. If he persists, call the police.

bimbobaggins · 12/08/2017 20:53

The only thing yabu about is not telling him to fuck off and you have every right to park there but I can understand if you were a bit anxious.

Escapepeas · 12/08/2017 20:53

He's the one being petty.

Don't leave any notes or engage with him any further about it. If the space is free, park in it. If it isn't free then park elsewhere. It's just a parking space. There doesn't need to be ongoing drama about it which will blight your life.

My old neighbour was like this. He parked his car right outside the front door to the flats and because he was retired and had clearly been doing it for some time, everyone just left 'his' space free for an easy life. DH and I weren't having this so if the space was free, we'd park there. The first time, he came up and asked when we'd be moving and I was a bit mystified so just said 'erm... when we go to work tomorrow?' He then wanted to know what time and sure enough, when we left at 6.30am he was waiting to put his car back there.

BackforGood · 12/08/2017 20:54

It's a real shame you responded as you did when he came round. You needed to have just said "Well, there are no restrictions on the layby, so everybody is as entitled as the next person to park there. They aren't ear marked for any particular flat, so, I can - and will - park in the most convenient space for me whenever I arrive home, as of course you can. "
The conversation you've had suggests that you were being cheeky and were 'nipping into his spot when his back was turned.

BackforGood · 12/08/2017 20:55

Plan a response for next time along the lines of "yes, isn't it a pity there's not room for all of us, we'll just have to share it equally. there's no point it sitting empty, if it's free when any one of us returns then that person should park there.

This ^ that Museumum said.

zzzzz · 12/08/2017 21:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Swipe left for the next trending thread