About my male work colleague

[LazySusan11]

I work in a very small team, 7 men and just myself and 1 other female. We don't all work together at the same time.

We have a male colleague who is quite touchy and thinks nothing of hugging or stroking your back. At one point he touched my knee and told me he and his wife were no longer intimate which saddened him.

This made all my alarm bells go off and made me very uncomfortable I have since then wherever possible kept my distance from this man. I told my boss who didn't make much of it but said if he made me feel uncomfortable again I should tell him.

I have since spoken to my female colleague only to discover he has done the same with her. He isn't a horrible man he is really very pleasant but something about him and his need to hug or touch us makes me very uncomfortable. AIBU to think I'm not imagining things and I have reason to feel the way I do?

Bollocks to that letter.

That's horrible. He's obviously been trying to place you in a bad light with his observations of your daily work routine. But he's wasted his work time to record it so it won't wash with your boss.

What a creep, he's paying you back because you complained about him.

Old I have spoken to him, I have told him not to touch me.

He also ccd my boss in the email. I haven't responded because I don't feel it's an apology at all. It's as if it's my mistake!

for you OP

What a load of crap - I'd be tempted to send an email like this:

Dear Touchy Feely Colleague

I understand that you come from but had mistakenly thought that as you had lived in for so long you would have understood how personal boundaries work here. For clarification, whilst hugs may be considered appropriate with colleagues who share a like of physical affection, it is under no circumstances acceptable to touch a colleague in a way that can be construed as intimate whilst sharing unrequested information about your sex life. Furthermore, when a colleague has repeatedly explained their personal boundaries, it is impolite to continue to violate them.

Hoping you'll understand how to maintain actual professional relationships soon!

Not falling for your crap