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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel angry and shaken and wish I'd exchanged numbers with her

60 replies

Underberg · 11/08/2017 20:30

I witnessed a really nasty incident today which has left me shaken, so I can't imagine how awful the poor woman to whom it actually happened is now feeling.

I was in my car queuing in traffic at some lights, one lane for left turns and one for right. Woman on pushbike in high vis in front of me in right turn lane, car next to her in left turn lane. (All stationary) Suddenly the the car driver door opens and nearly hits the cyclist. I assumed it was an accident and the driver had decided to open his door for some reason and not seen that she was there. She held up her hand as if to say "ok". Then the car door opens again and a man's head comes out and he says something to her, but she doesn't respond. A few seconds later the lights change and we all start moving then all of a sudden, the car swerves straight towards the cyclist! She is in the middle of our lane and the car comes right over from the left, fast and aggressively towards her and also right in my path as I am directly behind her. I sound my horn in a lame attempt to distract him or shock him into stopping as it really seems as though he's trying to kill her. I was amazed she wasn't hit. The car then speeds off with the driver shouting abuse at the poor woman he's nearly just run over. She makes it over to the side of the road, crying.

I parked as soon as I could and ran over to her, fortunately she was already on the phone to the police and we'd both noted his registration and description. I spoke to the police too to confirm I'd witnessed what had happened and they said they may contact me at a later date. After a quick chat and hug with the poor lady who was still shaking violently I left - she said she didn't need a lift home as she lived close by and would be ok getting there.

I can't stop thinking about what happened now and am regretting us not swapping numbers in case she wants to ask for details that she might not have seen or remembered due to the suddenness and shockingness of it all. And obviously I'd also like to know if she's ok.

I really want this arsehole caught and charged with something! He's clearly very dangerous. He also had an elderly lady as a passenger so didn't seem to have any regard for her either. I want to make sure that the police know this wasn't him just trying to scare the cyclist (although that would be bad enough) but that he genuinely seemed to be trying to knock her down. WIBU to contact them again? Will they tell me anything? Just going by the tone of voice of the person on the phone they didn't seem to think it was maybe as bad as it was.... And they said they 'might' contact me for more info. I really want reassurance that they're going to take this seriously.

The whole thing was just so horrible and it's terrifying to think there are people like him are out there prepared to do stuff like this.

OP posts:
Buttercunt · 11/08/2017 20:33

Post on your local Facebook page maybe?

LaurieFairyCake · 11/08/2017 20:35

Another attempted murder. Hopefully it's also on cctv at the lights. I would definitely stress how serious it was if they called you Sad

Underberg · 11/08/2017 20:38

Laurie I was actually working at the time making a delivery, and when I got back to the office and told my manager what had happened, he said the guy might get charged with careless driving of public disorder but probably not much more. That made me want to cry with frustration – surely that can't be right? How is it not attempted murder, she could so easily have been killed!

OP posts:
Underberg · 11/08/2017 20:38

Careless driving or public disorder

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 11/08/2017 20:38

Did you take his details? I.e. registration?

endofthelinefinally · 11/08/2017 20:39

Contact your local police with the details and ask them how you can take it further.
I witnessed a possible assault, rang police on my mobile and they rang me later to follow up.
His next victim may end up dead.

user1492287253 · 11/08/2017 20:39

I think that there is no harm in contacting the police yourself to emphasize how serious it was. If any local businesses have cctv they need to act quickly as it is often overwritten within 24 hours

Underberg · 11/08/2017 20:39

Yes we have the police the reg, colour of car, approximate age of driver and colour of hair

OP posts:
Underberg · 11/08/2017 20:40

*gave

OP posts:
StillDrivingMeBonkers · 11/08/2017 20:44

The police have the details, so there is little else you can do.

Frankiestein401 · 11/08/2017 20:46

it's useful that you won't have been able to chat with her as you couldn't be accused of collusion - what will help if you write down now what happened in as much detail as you remember then if it does go to court you'll be able to refer to contemporaneous notes which have more weight. sign and date/mail to yourself etc

sixinthebedandthelittleonesaid · 11/08/2017 20:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thissameearth · 11/08/2017 20:46

If you may be a witness (and she obvs would be too) it is maybe best you don't have details to speak directly. You suggest you could you tell her details she might have forgotten but if it's prosecution then as things stand both your sets of evidence will be untainted and carry more weight.

Thissameearth · 11/08/2017 20:48

*prosecuted

AnnieAnoniMouse · 11/08/2017 20:50

Definitely ring the police. Explain that you were shaken at the time and don't feel you conveyed the seriousness of the attack on her properly. Say it was an assault/attack/serious attempt to knock her off her bike and NOT an accident.

FrancisCrawford · 11/08/2017 20:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Underberg · 11/08/2017 20:51

Yes that's a good point about it being better for us not to be in touch for those reasons, I hadn't thought of that. Ok if I don't hear from the police soon I'll call them back, reiterate how serious it seemed and ask them to pass on to her that I hope she's ok.

OP posts:
Underberg · 11/08/2017 20:52

And thank you everyone

OP posts:
ParentInCharge · 11/08/2017 20:54

I agree with the others that it's perhaps best that you don't have contact for when it goes to court.

This is the part when I say to everyone DASHCAMS! They're absolutely fantastic for exactly these situations. I have one worth £89 (paid £59 with promo code) and it is invaluable. Added bonus is reduced insurance costs and lower chance of being forced to accept 50/50 claims when it wasn't your fault.

Or you could just see how many views you get on YouTube of idiot drivers....

GladAllOver · 11/08/2017 20:55

Another case where a dash cam would have been useful. Every car should have one.

KarmaNoMore · 11/08/2017 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stillvicarinatutu · 11/08/2017 20:55

hi op
the most wonderful thing you did there was get the reg. police can easily trace him from that. they will/should follow this up. that both you and her called shows it was a genuine incident - they should definitely act on it - but it may be quite a low priority given the current incident demand so dont worry if its a while before you hear anything - and as a witness you may hear nothing but rest assured your actions will have really helped.

GladAllOver · 11/08/2017 20:56

Crossed with you Parent !
I have two - one in the back as well.

Silverthorn · 11/08/2017 20:58

Run of the mill occurance for a cyclist unfortunately. There's a lot of rage out there. If the police even bother following up the incident he will only get a slapped wrist. Even when a high profile cyclist is killed nothing ever comes of it.
www.google.co.uk/amp/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/uk-wales-north-east-wales-36819791
www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/28345522/cycling-deaths-fewer-than-half-of-drivers-face-jail
Well done for stopping and caring. BrewCake for the shock.

micah · 11/08/2017 20:58

Get back onto the police and stress that now you've had time to calm down and reflect you really feel it was a malicious act, and only your action of beeping the horn stopped him from intentionally hitting her, and you were genuinely scared for her life. Also you feel as it was completely unprovoked he may do this again.

They will log it (yes, they do have a log :) ). Most forces will follow up, although staffing issues may take a while.

Also if you have a log number some forces allow you to check online what the progress is, although I'm not sure if you are a witness rather than the victim.

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