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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel angry and shaken and wish I'd exchanged numbers with her

60 replies

Underberg · 11/08/2017 20:30

I witnessed a really nasty incident today which has left me shaken, so I can't imagine how awful the poor woman to whom it actually happened is now feeling.

I was in my car queuing in traffic at some lights, one lane for left turns and one for right. Woman on pushbike in high vis in front of me in right turn lane, car next to her in left turn lane. (All stationary) Suddenly the the car driver door opens and nearly hits the cyclist. I assumed it was an accident and the driver had decided to open his door for some reason and not seen that she was there. She held up her hand as if to say "ok". Then the car door opens again and a man's head comes out and he says something to her, but she doesn't respond. A few seconds later the lights change and we all start moving then all of a sudden, the car swerves straight towards the cyclist! She is in the middle of our lane and the car comes right over from the left, fast and aggressively towards her and also right in my path as I am directly behind her. I sound my horn in a lame attempt to distract him or shock him into stopping as it really seems as though he's trying to kill her. I was amazed she wasn't hit. The car then speeds off with the driver shouting abuse at the poor woman he's nearly just run over. She makes it over to the side of the road, crying.

I parked as soon as I could and ran over to her, fortunately she was already on the phone to the police and we'd both noted his registration and description. I spoke to the police too to confirm I'd witnessed what had happened and they said they may contact me at a later date. After a quick chat and hug with the poor lady who was still shaking violently I left - she said she didn't need a lift home as she lived close by and would be ok getting there.

I can't stop thinking about what happened now and am regretting us not swapping numbers in case she wants to ask for details that she might not have seen or remembered due to the suddenness and shockingness of it all. And obviously I'd also like to know if she's ok.

I really want this arsehole caught and charged with something! He's clearly very dangerous. He also had an elderly lady as a passenger so didn't seem to have any regard for her either. I want to make sure that the police know this wasn't him just trying to scare the cyclist (although that would be bad enough) but that he genuinely seemed to be trying to knock her down. WIBU to contact them again? Will they tell me anything? Just going by the tone of voice of the person on the phone they didn't seem to think it was maybe as bad as it was.... And they said they 'might' contact me for more info. I really want reassurance that they're going to take this seriously.

The whole thing was just so horrible and it's terrifying to think there are people like him are out there prepared to do stuff like this.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 11/08/2017 21:02

I can imagine how scarey this was, and you seemed to have done well, and yes I'd chase it up. As you don't know each other, there could be no justifiable or believeable reason for collusion, that's just too James Bond and a bit silly. Either way you have done your bit and they should be able to catch this guy and you can stand witness.

AnotherLegoBrick · 11/08/2017 21:06

The OP was clear in her opening post that they had the car details and that she had spoke to the police - why are people asking her if she got the details and if she spoke to the police?

Really hope the police are able to do something.

WetDayInAugust · 11/08/2017 21:07

Definitely contact the police

KERALA1 · 11/08/2017 21:08

A man did this to dh. He reported it to police the man (wealthy company director type) was taken in for questioning but not charged Angry.

Well done op x

Underberg · 11/08/2017 21:10

Thanks micah that's good advice.

kerala sorry to hear this happened to your dh, how unfair that he got away with it. Were there any witnesses or was it the driver's word against his?

OP posts:
SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 11/08/2017 21:21

It's actually dangerous driving, not careless. Carries a harsher penalty, if anybody is caught and prosecuted for it.

Underberg · 11/08/2017 21:23

SpongeBob does it come under 'dangerous driving' if someone does something deliberate like this?

OP posts:
Underberg · 11/08/2017 21:25

Sorry I didn't actually put that very well, I mean, is that definitely what someone would be charged with if they did what this man did? Or could it be something else? How are these things decided?

OP posts:
KERALA1 · 11/08/2017 21:27

No witnesses hence why it was dropped so op could be so important.

Still he got the shame of a police car turning up at home and taking him to station. We like to think this would give him pause for thought next time.

Underberg · 11/08/2017 21:35

kerala yes he didn't completely get away with it then, hopefully the experience scared him a bit and made him think

OP posts:
MsLexicon · 11/08/2017 21:37

Oh how horrible for the woman and also traumatising.
I hope things get dealt with properly by the Police. You can phone them again if you want just to make any more points. The victim will have to press charges I think.
There is so much road rage about. I have witnessed a lot lately even someone screaming at me as I was slow crossing a road ( I was in pain, hip problem) and a woman passenger haranguing me to pass a traffic light which was on red... which was very prolonged and scary-really mad people.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 11/08/2017 21:38

Yes, it does, Underberg if it can be proved. Might even be more serious charge, as Laurie has suggested.

reallyanotherone · 11/08/2017 21:40

I think though even if they're not charged, the police turning up may be a deterrent if they realise a)how easily they can be traced, and b) yes, someone will do something about it.

Plus even if he isn't prosecuted this time, next time he commits any kind of crime it will add to the body of evidence. It will get added to the mythical log, and he will be flagged to police if his name ever comes up in an incident.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 11/08/2017 21:40

It's a long time since I was involved in these things Underberg. But it would depend on witnesses, what the Crown Prosecution Service thought the likelihood of a conviction was, among factors.

FindoGask · 11/08/2017 21:47

Thank you for being so caring towards the cyclist. Your support will have made all the difference to her, even if, as I suspect, nothing will happen to the driver.

Underberg · 11/08/2017 21:57

I've just called the police again on 101 to emphasise that I felt this was a deliberate attempt to hit the cyclist and they said that although they couldn't give me specific details, that action has already been taken, there have been developments and that it's likely they will need to speak to me again, so I'm hopeful this means they've found him and are going to try to prosecute him.

OP posts:
gluteustothemaximus · 11/08/2017 22:00

Well done OP. For going over to the woman to help her, and for being a witness. There's not a lot police can do without witnesses - what a good deed for the day Halo

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 11/08/2017 22:02

Ah. That has crossed with my pm to you Under.

Papafran · 11/08/2017 22:06

This is sickening. How is that 'careless driving'? Careless driving is if I misjudge a distance when parking and prang a car. It is not careless if someone drives at a vulnerable person on a bike in the middle of a junction. It honestly makes me feel sick what sort of people we have on our streets and after the Putney Bridge incident, it seems fine these days to verbally and physically abuse people (usually women) just because you feel like it.

I hope to god that they prosecute that utter arsehole and that he is banned from driving (I would want him imprisoned too but that seems to be reserved for people who don't pay their TV licences).

user1482443190 · 11/08/2017 22:14

Well done OP, sounds like you've done the best you can, and glad it sounds like the police sound like they are being proactive.
I cycle a lot and am amazed at the sheer hatred displayed by a small minority of car drivers, I've been sworn at, spat at and even had a driver try and knock me off my bike by reversing at high speed at me.

mogulfield · 11/08/2017 22:19

I'd have done what you did Op, it's easy to sit back and do nothing, well done for caring as much as you did!

Underberg · 11/08/2017 22:27

Thanks everyone! You've all been really lovely and helpful. Hopefully he will be prosecuted and hopefully the cyclist will be able to put this behind her and feel better soon.

OP posts:
e1y1 · 11/08/2017 22:37

Well done OP, there is a disgusting amount of rage out there.

ThreeFish · 11/08/2017 22:39

Well done you for helping her and being a witness. This behaviour is awfully frequent.
Is there a local cycling club she might belong to and you could post on their fb page?

stellacat123 · 11/08/2017 22:56

Well done for going out of your way to ensure something was done. Hopefully you can get some peace of mind knowing you're the good guy and have been a massive help to the cyclist's case. Give yourself a treat - you deserve it! 💐🎁

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