To think this is poor for a mh team (long sorry)

[StupidSlimyGit]

I'm struggling a little right now, there's been a lot going on so I reached out to my MH team for support, I don't want to get out of bed or move or breathe. Lifes just so hard and I don't want to feel like this, I want to be better for my daughter, I love her so much she deserves better.
I phoned my CPN several times, couldn't get through at all so I left a voicemail. She got back to me over a week later, she only works three mornings a week so hadn't had time to see me/phone me back. Fair enough, but she's one of only two CPNs on the team and I can't see/contact the other apparently. Finally after almost two months I got to see her, she was unable to book a room somewhere private for us to speak and so we had to meet in a cafe which was incredibly awkward for me as I broke down and cried at the appointment. She also had to cut it short because of parking restrictions .
The teams psychologist quit over a year ago, they wont transfer me to another team despite admitting I need to see psychology (PTSD, depression, anxiety etc). I had a referral to the teams psychiatrist who apparently only works one afternoon a week. This happens to be the only afternoon I can't change my work shifts round on and the doctors aren't willing to continue my prescription for my meds without psychiatrist input so now I'm back off my meds and the flashbacks/nightmares etc are worse.
I've had a phone call this afternoon from my CPN saying that she doesn't feel meeting in public is appropriate, but that the only way she can book a room anywhere is again the one day I cannot attend so she isn't willing to see me.
Surely if this team is unable/unwilling to see me and don't have the staff I need they should transfer me to another one? I'm on the edge, I can't cope and it feels like they are just shrugging their shoulders and brushing me off.

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Is your GP supportive? Do you think they would support you in asking for more/better help - perhaps with another team as you say?

That's longer than I meant sorry . To summarise:

AIBU to feel that a mh team should have a psychologist or be willing to transfer to another team,
That
a psychiatrist should work more than one afternoons a week if they're the only one on the team,
That a CPN should be available or be able to make a referral to someone else,
That a crisis team should be available to people even if they have a "long term issue" when their mh team are not available.

Yes it is poor. But this is the NHS we have and it is only going to get worse.
I am so sorry you can't get the help you need.
I have personal experience of just how desperate things are.

GP have said I need to talk to my MH team about my MH issues as they are the specialists. The only GP I can speak to atm is dismissive and frankly quote aggressive sometimes. He is the one who stopped my meds because I'm no longer seeing psychiatry, he also stopped my painkillers that a different specialist has prescribed for a severe injury which I will eventually have to have operated on. The chronic pain is making dealing with everything else harder if that makes sense. I'm scared to call again because I don't know what he'll do to make my life harder next.

Can you change your GP?
It is bad that you are not getting the help you need. But the Crisis Team role is to keep people out of hospital. I know where I live the fact that you are managing still to go to work, would mean that they would not help.

Can you change your gp?
Have you considered approaching a charity such as MIND for support and advice?

That's exactly how they're all making me feel. Not worth helping because I can't pay for private healthcare despite my MH issues and disabilities. Just don't have the energy to fight anymore. I won't do anything, I couldn't do that to my DD but I'm going to work, doing my shift, coming home and looking after DD then praying I won't wake up the next morning when I get into bed, at least then I won't be a burden on them all.

No other GP in the area.
I've been hospitalised twice before for my MH in a different area, hence why I was hoping maybe if the normal team can't help then maybe they could before I get to that point again I certainly didn't mean to be misusing the teams

brasty that is useful information about the crisis team. Now I realise why they were no help to me. I thought they were supposed to help in a crisis.

Yes you would think so. But like most mental health services their criteria for help is very high. It is a shame that you can't change your GP, as some GPs are brilliant around mental health, and some are terrible.
Have you tried Samaritans?

OP
Please try and hang on.
Your dd needs you. I know you can't see the wood for the trees right now but please believe me when I tell you that life is precious, things can get better and you are the most important person in the world to your dd.

Sorry, in my old area this is the sort of time they told me I should be using them. I genuinely didn't realise it was misuse I won't call them again.

This may be a long shot, but my MP was brilliant when I couldn't get an appointment following an urgent referral for investigations.
The government has recently announced an initiative to improve mental health services so if your MP is any good at all it might be worth emailing them.
Just google "contact my mp".

Sorry please don't think you are misusing them. It sounds as if different areas have different policies.
But you do need help.
I know lots of people have found the SANE helpline useful. It is open 4.30pm to 10.30pm . www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/helpline
Tel 0300 304 7000

They might also be better able to advise you about how you can access support in your area. Please ring them.

There is also an online support forum. No idea how active it is though.

Yes it should be better but as a former RMN this is the way mental health services are going they closed downbyhe vast majority of in patient beds in the trust I worked for and in theory there was supposed to be adequate community staff to cope unfortunately that's not what happens and it's the patients/clients that suffer I,m sorry it's like this it's crap

Talk to PALS. Or get someone to do it on your behalf.
When my gp messed up my pysch referral, I approached them and they got it sorted for me really quickly.
I was in no place to be chasing referrals and really could have done without having to approach them, but I am very very glad that I did.

Unfortunately, mental health is easy to get away with cutting funds for. They may only be able to fund two CPNs and one day of work for the psychologist per week.

It should be better, and all the professionals will likely wish they could do better. But if the funds aren't there, the funds aren't there. From what you said about there being no other GP locally, you're probably rural, further explaining the small size of the team and why there's likely not a lot of funding.

That does sound like a poor service. DHs CPN works part time but if he or I have called him he has always visited his next working day. He generally sees DH at home, is this an option? But has also sat in CPNs car for appointments when DH has been meeting him in his lunch break. Other members of his team have also been helpful if his CPN is not in work and there is always a crisis number available. It has taken 4 years to be offered/seen by a psychologist though.

I don't think that you are missusing crisis team, you are wanting to die which sounds like an appropriate reason to contact them. From personal experience I think I was more unwell when I 'just' wanted to die than when I was actively suicidal, like you I was still working throughout that period.

I would contact PALS witb your complaints. If no one complains then services don't change. Also as an NHS employee I know that those who shout loudest do get a better service because staff are then scared of getting more complaints.

Also wondering if there is any way that you can book annual leave for your psychiatry appointments? That is what I am having to do at the moment as our psychologist again only works 1 half day with DHs team.

And OP its so unfair to have to fight for support when things are already so tough. Would also complain to practice manager about your GP too.

I'll try Pals, my MP and Sane. Thankyou.
I am rural but there are two large teams that covers my town, the team I am with are tiny because they are a perinatal team but they also cover a nearby city (over 105,000 residents so not small). Where I live is covered by this cities standard mh team and the other large city in the areas mh team (larger than the first).
They have said to me before their should be more staff but they haven't hired anyone yet. It's been this way for over a year.
We can't talk at the house because DDs dad still lives here and will happily interrupt the meetings and take over the conversations hence why we meet elsewhere.
NoLongerAnxious that's exactly how I feel. I feel worse now than when I was suicidal but I think because I'm not they just don't believe me.
I have to give work 6 weeks notice for annual leave and they don't book the psychiatrists appointments more than a week and half before the actual appointment so there isn't time to book the leave.
The GP I'm having issue with is the lead GP at the practise, is there a manager above him I could talk to?
Thankyou for the support.

I don't think that it is correct that the crisis team are only there to prevent hospital admissions. That may be the case in one area, but it's not the case in many.

OP I'm sorry you are having so much trouble. I assume it wouldn't be possible to talk to your work about having the time off for appointments? I know it's difficult but you are really quite and need to be seen.

Take care.

There should be a practice manager who isn't a GP.

Can you talk to work about provisionally booking leave and then try to insist they give you an appointment on the day you can book leave? Pals may be able to help with this.

Oh dear.
I am guessing that your dd's dad is your problem?
You say he is still living in your home and makes it difficult for you to get help?

OP I wonder if you might find it helpful to post in relationships?
AIBU probably isn't the best place, even though you have had good and supportive advice so far.