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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be really worried about work?

106 replies

CaptainObviousTwo · 11/08/2017 12:39

I've been working at a new company in a junior role since early April. In that time I have taken sick leave on four different occasions. (5 days in total)

I came into work today feeling under the weather but just sucked it up, but very quickly deteriorated and ending up being sick. I only live ten mins from work but was too dizzy to drive so left my car there and was driven home. I was sick a few times, room is still a bit spinny and I really don't think I'd have been much good at work.

I missed a meeting last week as a dog that was living at my house (My Mum's whilst she was in hospital which is literally another thread in its own right) attacked my boyfriend and I had to take him to A+E.

This meeting is more of a "progress review" meeting for a project I'm leading with my team so inconvenient but not essential.

Problem is, that meeting is again this afternoon. I've spoken to our IT department and managed to get remote access to our conference call via my mobile and got a colleague to email me the spreadsheet I need to lead the meeting, I'll call in at 2 and take the meeting to try and minimise the disruption. I feel like death warmed up but fairly confident I can hold it together to not vomit during the half hour call.

I'm desperate to try and make amends for my repeated absence but feel like the damage has been done - I've been there for 4 months and been off sick as many times.

I've been told by several people, including my line manager, that my performance has been excellent but I'm sick with anxiety over having to take yet another day off.
They must think I'm taking the piss, or at the very least am a liability.

(I have passed my probation btw)

AIBU?

OP posts:

rizlett · 12/08/2017 15:04

taking your bf to the hospital after a dog bite is not an appropriate reason for taking sick time.

What pp mean op - is that this episode of not being able to go into work shouldn't have been listed as you 'being off sick' - which would cut a sick day off your 5 days. It should have been taken as a days leave or unpaid leave.

If you told them you were sick maybe you can explain and they can alter your sickness absence record so it doesn't look so damaging.

StealthPolarBear · 12/08/2017 15:06

Op you sound very sensible. Hope it does all work out

Original poster

CaptainObviousTwo · 12/08/2017 15:39

What pp mean op - is that this episode of not being able to go into work shouldn't have been listed as you 'being off sick

Oh, I see. Well it hasn't been marked as sick leave. As far as I'm aware it hasn't been marked as anything. Sick leave gets marked on our Outlook calenders, and that afternoon doesn't have that. So if one were to look at it from the HRB database it wouldn't factor, I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear, I didn't realise I said I'd taken it as actual sick leave, more that my concern was it was the same meeting as yesterday's

OP posts:

Original poster

CaptainObviousTwo · 12/08/2017 15:41

If you told them you were sick maybe you can explain

Oh did people think I'd lied about that absence? God know, I called them whilst I was on the way to the hospital and told them I was getting my boyfriend to hospital as he'd just been attacked by the dog. I was on my emails in the waiting room rearranging the meeting, sharing the actions and trying to do what little I could with my email access.

I didn't pull a sicky to take bf.

Honestly, I haven't been right for a while now, I don't seem to make sense much these days - sorry!

OP posts:

Albatross26 · 12/08/2017 15:50

Is this the dog your landlord was annoyed about cos of the no pets thing? Blimey, hope bf is ok. Sit down and talk with your managers, they'll appreciate it, sure it'll be fine

Viviennemary · 12/08/2017 15:54

You've been a bit unlucky. But that's quite a lot of sick leave when you've only been there four or five months. I'd think this was a high level of absence. If you were my colleague I wouldn't be happy.

CaptainBrickbeard · 12/08/2017 16:13

Someone upthread expressed disapproval that you would take an adult to A&E; if I had suffered a horrendous attack like you describe and my husband put me in a taxi so he could go to work then I would be horrified. Obviously he wouldn't dream of doing so and as you say, OP, there isn't a job in the world that would make me act in such a callous and indifferent manner.

What has happened to the dog btw? That sounds like a pretty awful situation.

I have had some periods of repeated absence and it is stressful. I also was ill the day after a holiday once and then again the next time I came back from holiday - I was really concerned that I looked like a pisstaker but it wasn't flagged up. I hope you get your meds sorted and that things improve .

GogoGobo · 12/08/2017 16:15

You sound a bit chaotic and if you were st my company I guarantee you'd have been fired by now.
Don't be surprised if your employer is lining up a plan B....

Original poster

CaptainObviousTwo · 12/08/2017 16:52

You sound a bit chaotic and if you were st my company I guarantee you'd have been fired by now.
Don't be surprised if your employer is lining up a plan B....

Thanks for that.

OP posts:

swingofthings · 12/08/2017 16:54

So did you offer to make up the time you took to be with your boyfriend in A&E?

What were the reasons for your other sickness? In the end, it all comes down to how much your manager believes you are just very unlucky but still fully committed to the job, or whether they think that you are a light weight and one to always come up with excuses.

Gorgosparta · 12/08/2017 16:56

It was me. That was before she said the dog ripped into his face.

Crumbs1 · 12/08/2017 17:04

It is a lot of sick leave for a probationary period. Particularly as it's not one lot of significant illness but separate days. I would have a meeting to say formally that the level and frequency was not acceptable and then make clear that I expected to see no further absence within the next three months of I would be starting capability proceedings.

shouldaknownbetter · 12/08/2017 17:05

HR person here. That level of absence in the first six months of employment would be concerning to most employers. Doesn't matter whether the absence is 'genuine' or not. Absence is absence. Means you aren't there to do your job. That's what your employer is paying you for. Unless it's disability related, in which case most employers would give some leeway, it's entirely appropriate for your employer to take action, monitor you, give you a warning and even dismiss if attendance does not improve.

GogoGobo · 12/08/2017 17:24

Sorry OP, I can't give you false reassurances. My company would have fired you on episode 3 unless your absences were covered by employment legislation.
Out of interest, what are the other two businesses you have "on the side". Does employer know about these?

FlyLight · 12/08/2017 17:56

On your dog in a rental property thread after all the landlord drama about keeping him you said the dog has gone and you were sad not to come home to him -but he'd ripped half your bfs face off?

Qwerty111 · 12/08/2017 18:32

You are right to be worried, IMO. HR personnel have said what the policy is in their own company, and I know what it is in mine.

I would think it likely they will take you to a formal process re sickness, and they may well be watching you closely for any more sudden dramas that mean unplanned absences.

I don't think you said if this level of sickness is usual or unusual for you? Or if it might all be related to one condition?

If it is just that you seem to be coming down with one bug after another then it may just be the result of suddenly being in contact with a brand new group of people (aka germ factories ) and within a few weeks your immune system will buck up. In the meantime, clean and sanitize your work area - particularly desks, keyboards and telephones. Make antibacterial wipes your new desk friends!

The same thing happened to me when I went to work at a new office, hadn't had a cold for 10+ years, then had 5 in the first 6 months.

Out2pasture · 12/08/2017 18:57

I really dislike the dripfeed, excuses and the need to go to other threads to get the whole "story". Almost akin to lying.
Good luck OP with the work situation.

Mumof56 · 12/08/2017 19:10

Taking time off because genuinely sick, ok. Can you provide doctors certs and fit to return to work certs for your employer?

Taking time off because your partner got attacked by your mothers dog

And if I was on the project and you continually missed meetings I'd be wondering how important the project actually was.

Blondebombsite83 · 12/08/2017 19:14

Wow!! Some people work for awful employers!! I once worked for a bank and was of for 3 desperate days. I was put on an attendance plan because there was a pattern...it was always a Saturday. I only worked a fucking Saturday!! Where I work now if I was ill I'd be expected to go home, so as not to spread it around. I'd probably get a sympathetic text or email too. Guess where it's nicer to work? Btw I've probably had 1 absence in the last year.

Blondebombsite83 · 12/08/2017 19:14

Seperate

greendale17 · 12/08/2017 19:20

5 days sick since April is a high level

Gorgosparta · 12/08/2017 19:40

blonde i cant imagine that goodwill would last, indefinitely, if you were averaging a day off a month from when you started.

sororitynoise · 12/08/2017 20:58

The same 'nice' dog that is illegally living at your house?

ChristmasFluff · 12/08/2017 21:06

Middle manager here. 5 days since April sounds bad, but if it were genuine illness then it really cannot be helped, and OP has been proactive in trying to perform her duties despite being spewy. I'd be going on the whole picture of performance - so if OP is generally really committed and a reliable member of staff, then fine. If they are a bit of a wastrel I'd be on my guard. With such regular absence, return to work interviews would be a norm - as a supportive measure to help staff not be becoming ill with stress etc. I work for a decent employer.

StealthPolarBear · 12/08/2017 21:12

"Guess where it's nicer to work?"
That's lovely but not really your employers top priority

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